Itsumademo Ai (Forever Love)

Chapter 3 – Broken Hearts and New Beginnings

In the park, Sora took Tai down a path that was beaten down by feet.  It wasn’t an official park path.  It led to a clearing where a big tree had fallen over recently.  Matt was not far behind.  He didn’t want to follow too close, fearing he may be caught.  Sora and Tai sat down on the tree.  Matt hid behind a tree, not being able to hear well, but he could make out some of what was being said.  Tai looked around nervously, as did Sora.  “Tai, there’s something I need to tell you,” Sora began.  “Ever since we were kids,” Sora began to blush, “I’ve…liked you.  Don’t say anything, just listen.”  Tai sat there, unable to speak if he had wanted to.  “I hope you feel the same for me.  I know we have been best friends, but I want to be more.  I like…no, I love you Tai Kamiya.  I have always loved you.  Your eyes, face, body, everything about you drives me crazy.  I want us to be together, Tai, now and forever.” 

Matt’s heart sunk as he heard Sora say, “I love you.”  He couldn’t bear it.  He started to cry silent tears as he waited for Tai’s response.  Sora waited also.  She waited for Tai to confess his love for her.

Tai was speechless.  He didn’t know what to say.  For a moment, time stood still.  Then suddenly, a tear fell from his eye.  “Sora, I…you have to understand, I don’t…” he couldn’t look at her, he knew he was breaking her heart, “I don’t feel the same way for you.  You are very special to me, my best friend.  But the fact is, Sora, I love someone else.”  Tai felt like trash.  He had just hurt one of his closest friends.  He wished that he had stayed home today. 

Matt’s heart stopped.  Tai loves someone else?  He felt as if he was going to faint, but leaned against the tree, trying to hear the rest of the conversation.

Sora was crushed.  How could he love another girl after all they had been through together?  She burst into angry tears.  “Who, Tai?  Who is it that you love?  I can’t believe I wasted my time on you!  How could you do this to me?  Another girl?  After what we have been through together?”  Sora raised her hand and slapped Tai hard.  “Tell me just who the hell is this slut?”  Tai just looked away, crying hard. 

“Sora, please don’t make me tell you.”  Tai said in a raspy voice.  Matt wanted to run out and hold Tai and make the pain go away, but he couldn’t move.  All he could do was listen.  Sora glared at Tai.  “Sora, please…”  She slapped him again.

“Tell me!” Sora was fuming now, as was Matt.  It was all he could do from running out there and knocking Sora down.

Tai could hardly breathe as he let out the words.  “It’s not a girl, it’s M-M-Matt.”  Sora’s mouth dropped open in utter shock.  Matt felt light-headed.  He slid down the tree and passed out.  He had just heard what he had wanted to hear for months now.  He couldn’t take it all in.

“Matt?  Ishida?  I…Tai…you’re…what…how…”  Sora stuttered.  Her mind was racing.  She couldn’t think of anything to say.  “I have to go!” She cried as she ran out of the clearing, not noticing Matt on the ground.  She didn’t stop until she got home.  Tai just sat there, crying his eyes out. 

~*~

Matt came to and heard Tai still crying.  It was almost dark.  How long had he been out?  It didn’t matter; he had to comfort Tai.  He slowly got up and came from behind the tree, startling Tai.  Tai jumped up and said, “Ma-Matt, where did y-y-you come from?”  Tai turned away from Matt.  He was feeling nauseous again.

Matt didn’t say anything; he just walked over to Tai and put his arms around him.  “Don’t speak, just listen.”  This frightened Tai.  Had he heard the fight?  He didn’t know what was going on.  He thought Matt was going to kill him or something.  “I heard everything, Tai.”  Oh no, thought Tai, this is it.  He braced himself.  “I followed you and Sora here today.  I had to find out what this meeting was about.  I was terrified that I was going to lose you to her.” Matt whispered softly in Tai’s ear.  He turned Tai around and kissed him on the lips.  Tai kissed back, nearly passing out from the rush.

Tai melted to the ground.  He started sobbing again.  “Matt, I love you.  I have loved you since I’ve known you.  I didn’t know for sure until today, when I finally came to terms with my feelings for you.”

“I love you too, Tai.  I have wanted to tell you for so long.”  Matt sat on the ground, and held Tai in his arms.  “My beautiful Tai, how I have longed to hold you like this.  You don’t have to be without love anymore.  I will always be here for you.”

“I think I ruined the relationship between Sora and I, Matt.  If only I had told you sooner, today wouldn’t have happened.”  Tai couldn’t stop crying.  He really did care for Sora; he just didn’t love her.  “I deserved to be slapped like that, you know.  I feel horrible about doing that to her.”

Matt helped Tai to his feet.  “We will deal with that later, Tai.  Right now, I just want to get us home, it is getting late, and our parents are probably wondering where we are.”  Matt put his arm around Tai’s waist, and they started walking home.  “Tai, I am sorry I followed you and Sora today.  I didn’t know what to do.  I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you.”

“It’s ok, Matt.  I’m glad you came, I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t.”  The rest of the walk was made in silence, Matt’s arm around Tai and Tai’s head on Matt’s shoulder.  When they got to Tai’s place, Tai asked, “Matt, will you stay with me tonight?  I don’t want to be alone.”

“Sure, beautiful.  I’ll call my dad and tell him where I am.  I wouldn’t think of leaving you right now anyway.”

“Oh and I don’t think we should tell anyone right now.  I don’t know how they will take it.”  Tai was hoping this wouldn’t upset Matt, but he needed to figure out things for himself first.  He needed to accept the fact that he was…gay.  He didn’t like that word.  He didn’t want to think of himself that way, he just wanted to think of himself as loving Matt, who just happened to be a boy.  The idea of being different frightened Tai.  He wondered what everyone would think.  That shouldn’t matter, and Tai hated himself for thinking that.  He started to cry again. 

“Ok, we won’t.”  Matt said.  He wanted to tell the world in reality, but he would do anything for Tai.  Matt noticed Tai was crying again.  “What’s wrong, Tai?”

“Matt, I am scared.  I don’t know what is going to happen.”  Tai felt low, he couldn’t tell Matt why.  He couldn’t tell him that he was scared of what people would think.

“Dry your eyes, love, everything will be alright.”  Matt held Tai tighter.  Why was Tai worried?  Was he afraid of what Sora might do?  Was he scared of what everyone will think?

They got in the elevator and as they reached Tai’s floor, Tai pulled away from Matt.  Matt sighed.  “I hope you understand, Matt, I really do.”  Matt nodded.  He understood perfectly.  It hurt a little that Tai was being selfish like that.  But he knew where Tai was coming from and he didn’t want to upset Tai anymore than he was, so he didn’t say anything.  They got off the elevator and walked to the apartment.