Title: Dream Passings
Author: Bee-chan
Series: Gundam Wing
Category: angst, dark, pain, rape, murder, love
Subcategory: anime, yaoi, pov of Trowa
Rating: R
Pairings: 5x3
Warnings: blood, hurting of Wu Fei, nightmare/dreamscapes,
KLEENEX FLAGS ARE WAVING!!!
E-mail: beechan2@yahoo.com
Archive: BEE-HIVE STUDIOS and
HUGS & KISSES, **ask me nicely and I'll think about it ;)!**

DREAM PASSINGS

Where am I?

I stand on shore, yet I do not hear the distant crash of waves so often
heard when one is near the water. I look up into the night sky. There
are no stars out tonight save for the brilliant glowing moon. There
is a chill in the air, yet I am not cold.

There is a sweet smell in the air. I raise my head and breathe it in.
Lotus blossoms? Here? They should not be here so close to the
ocean. I close my eyes and take in the air again. Leaning my head
back, I detect another fragrance in the cool breeze. An all too familiar
smell. Something I had remembered from way back during the time of
Operation Meteor. Something I had hoped I would be able to forget.

There is a metallic tinge to this all too familiar scent and I freeze
in panic as I realize what it is. Blood.

I stand there frozen to the spot as my past reawakens itself in my
mind. Flashes of lives I had destroyed, flashes of my sister,
Catherine, long since dead, as she was raped and brutally murdered
at the hands of the last of the remaining faithful soldiers of OZ.
Her broken and twisted naked body lying in a heap near the lions
cages. Her arm draped over the severed head of Brutus, my dear lion
friend, yet another victim of those damn bastards to get back at me
for destroying their oh so precious plans of domination. Both their
blood mixing together in the dust and written on the inside of
Brutus's cage in blood, " Laugh at this, clown! Now THAT'S funny! " [1].

I never thought that I would have been able to get through
that. I had turned inwards to myself and shut everyone else out,
so that they would not have to feel the horrible pain I was in.
No one thought anything of it, anyway, since I was always the
quiet one, never really speaking or expressing my feelings to
anyone but the two that meant the most to me, but they were
both dead, so I felt I had no one I could ever speak to or
love ever again.

The smell of the lotus blossoms still lingers in the air. They are his
favorite flowers. Just as beautiful and exotic as he is. He could always
make things better with his sweet smile, his shining onyx eyes, his
tender war callused hands. He always seems to know when something
is worrying me. He trys his hardest to make me feel better, sometimes
with just a smile and a listening ear, sometimes showing me that
he loves me in more ways than one.

" Wu Fei…"

I take a deep breath and walk over to the water. Kneeling,
I cup my hands and scoop some of the water up to wash the
tears out of my eyes. I open my mouth a bit to let some of the
salty water in and graze across my tongue. Something is wrong.

I gag and spit out the water. The taste is wrong. This is NOT
water! I run my fingers through the liquid and taste
my fingertips. …blood. An ocean of blood!

Shock hitting me, I stumble backwards and land on
my rear, my breath coming in short gasps. I swipe my hand
across my forehead to rub away the now forming sweat. I realize
too late that I just smeared myself with blood. Great…

Pulling off my shirt, I use it to wipe the blood of my
forehead and hand.

//Wonderful. There goes another good shirt to waste…//

The breeze on the shore gets stronger and stronger. It is no
longer cool, though. In fact, it is getting warmer and warmer by
the second. I notice that the sweet smell of lotus blossoms is
getting stronger as well, almost to the point of over-powering.

There is a bright flash in the night sky. I cover my eyes from
the painful light. As the light begins to fade, I look up to see
what could have possibly created such a flash. My eyes
widen in disbelief at the sight.

The moon! It's… it's gone! But… there is still a glow in the
sky! What else could possibly create this light? My eyes
focus more and discover an unbelievable image. Where the
moon once hung, there is now a giant illuminious lotus blossom,
in full bloom!

//How is this fucking possible?!?!//

" …Trowa…."

I hear a voice, very faint, but growing stronger and
stronger by the second.

" Trowa…"

I scan the shoreline for the owner of the voice. As far as I can see,
I am the only one on the shore.

" Trowa… angel…"

I follow the direction of the voice. Gazing out into the horizon
of the crimson ocean, I see a figure walking towards me.

Closer and closer he gets, his body swaying in a seductive motion.
His long silky raven hair is pulled back in his usual ponytail, a few
stray wisps escaping from his brow. His wine-black eyes shining.
The tight black leather pants cling to him like a second skin, almost
a little painfully, riding just low enough to reveal some of the soft
black curls there. His usual wristbands are gone. Taking their place,
two golden armbands and black gloves, the right one without
fingers. The bands hug his upper arms, their jewels as crimson as
the ocean. A small golden lip ring adorns his lower lip.
I'm at a loss for words…

" Dr…dragon? ", I utter in confusion, " Wu Fei? ".

Wu Fei stops dead in his tracks, the loose strands of hair like onyx
cornsilk flowing freely in the breeze. His eyes shine like eternal
blackholes that draw me into them everytime I peer into them. His lips
move as to speak, but no words come out. Yet, I still hear his
voice calling out my mine, his rich Chinese accent caressing
my soul like the softest velvet.

I am frozen to my spot on the shore, just watching him. He moves
a bit closer to the shore. The breeze picks up and small lotus blossom
petals are carried from the gigantic bloom in the sky through it. They
gently swirl around Wu Fei as he nears the shore, then drifts towards
me, circling around my body. The fragrance is heady and I am
momentarily lost in it; the scent of the flower and my love's
own exotic smell. Flashes of the many nights and many days
spent making love to my dragon, recognizing and memorizing
every sight of him, every smell of him, his taught lean body, his taste,
the touch of his fingers, his hands, his tongue on my on body.
The fire in both our bodies as we joined in pure love and ecstasy.
The sound of our hearts afterwards, as we rested in each other's
arms and held each other as we slept. My heart… my soul…
my life… all were and still his, as his are mine.

The breeze dies suddenly, the delicious scent disappearing.
An eerie feeling passes through my heart.

//Why am I shivering? It's not cold here.//

I look up at Wu Fei. He is clutching himself, bent over in pain.
I begin to rise slowly.

Then, out of nowhere, an ear splitting crack is heard, as like a whip
were cutting through the air. It is then followed by an
agonized scream of pain.

" WU FEI!! " I scream.

A thin line of blood is running from his right shoulder
down to the tips of his fingers.

Another crack is heard. Wu Fei screams and lunges forward
as a ribbon of blood flies cross his back.

" WU FEEEEIIIIII!!!!! "

I try and run out to him. A powerful wind picks up and holds me
back, grasping me tightly at my wrists. I cannot break free of it
as its grip on me is like an iron vise. I struggle desperately trying
to break free, to run to my love's side. As if to laugh at me, the
wind pulls me back slightly further away from the ocean
of blood, away from Wu Fei.

All I can do now is watch.

Another wind, sharp as a blade, picks up and attacks Wu Fei,
slicing his bronzed skin almost clear to the bone. Over and over
again it does this, picking up in speed with every scream of pain.
Back and forth, forth and back, its relentless attack seems endless.

The screams of my love, so agonized, so pain filled, ring
through my ears. There is nothing I can do! I strain against my
restraints, screaming, fear and red hot rage racing through every
vein in my body. What can I do?! What can I do?!?!

Then as suddenly as it began, the attack ends. The wind
releases me as I watch it stop its blows on Wu Fei. It drops him
like a rag doll into the ocean of blood. I scream out his name.

" WU FEI!! "

I run out to him, my heart pounding with fear.

The ocean is shallow. It only reaches my knees, so I don't have to
swim out to him. Reaching him in what seems like eternity, I pick
him up, lifting his head out of the crimson liquid. I start to carry
him in the direction of the shore, but as I look up, the shore has disappeared!

I am standing in an ocean of blood, holding my precious dragon,
with no shore in sight! I keep moving though. I finally find a spot
that isn't as deep as the rest of the ocean. Here at least I can sit and
rest Wu Fei on my lap.

I lay the injured body of my love across my lap, resting his head
in the crook of my arm. He has passed out cold from shock and
severe blood loss. I shake him gently to wake him. Wait… something's
not right… his lips are turning blue! Oh gods!! He's not breathing!!

Taking in a deep breath, I give him mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Please, if there is a God, let him live!! Bring him back to me!!
PLEASE!! I won't be able to keep going without him!

I keep trying and trying, but I cannot get a breath from his lunges!
No!! In a last ditch effort, I punch on his chest, just over
his heart, to try and get it to start beating again.

I beat on his chest until my hand begins to get sore!

//No!! I WILL NOT give up on you, Wu Fei!!
I WILL not let you die!! You are a WARRIOR!! You've been
through wars! You've fought thousands of enemies and lived!!
You brought me out of hell when I thought there was nothing
else to live for!! You loved me when no one else would!!
I WILL NOT LET YOU DIE LIKE THIS!!! NOT LIKE THIS!!!//

Still, no breath comes from my dragons lips, no beat from his heart.
My heart turns to ice and shatters. I wipe the hair from his
bloody face. I kiss his lips one last time… one last…! I begin to
shake as my tears run hot down my face. Throwing back
my head, I scream….

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!…."

*        *        *

I wake up screaming, my body in a cold sweat. My breath
comes in short gasps. I sit up in our bed, not quite
realizing where I am yet.

I hear a soft moan next to me. Two arms wrap themselves
around my waist and soft warm breath tickles my neck.

" Trowa? Angel, are you alright? "

I turn my head in the direction of the voice. Two sparkling
onyx eyes search my face in worry. Wu Fei?! He's still alive?!

//How can this be?! You died in my arms! I saw you…!//

He pulls me closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder,
gently running his fingers over my shoulders. My eyes fill with
tears and my body begins to tremble in sobs. I cry on his shoulder
as he gently strokes my back.

" Shhhhh… angel… it's okay! You must have just had a
nightmare, that's all. Just a nightmare… sshhhhh… ", he softly
whispers in my ear, gently rocking us back and forth.

A few minutes pass before my body tires itself out from crying and
I slump against Wu Fei in exhaustion. He tenderly traces his fingers
along my cheek, wiping away the rest of my tears. Drawing me back,
he looks me deeply in the eyes and asks me if I want to
talk about my nightmare.

//Talk about it?! What's there to talk about?! I only saw you die
in my nightmare, that's what I saw! My one and only love
dying right in front of me and there was nothing I could
do to save you!!//

" Not right now, please, mi amor… I'd rather not talk
about it right now. I… I just want you to hold me. "

He sighs and smiles sweetly. I know he'd rather get it out of me now,
but is willing to just let it go for the moment. I'll tell him when
the moment is right, …just not right now…

Gently, Wu Fei helps me lay back down on our bed. Leaning over me,
he reaches down, running his fingers through my bangs, pushing
them back to look into my eyes. I reach up and lightly run my
fingers down his jaw line, brushing my fingertips over his soft lips,
then reaching back and tucking the stray hairs behind his ear.
Cupping my jaw, my dragon places butterfly kisses on my cheek,
then, drawing closer, kisses my lips softly, then with more passion
as the kiss gets deeper. We explore each other's mouths,
tasting each other with a heated fervor.

We remain that way for a few more minutes, not wanting to let go,
wanting to remain locked together like this forever. We draw back
to catch our breaths, gazing into each other eyes.

//Beautiful…//

He lies down beside me and pulls me closer to him. I can
feel his breath on my neck as I rest my head under his chin.
I breathe in his familiar exotic scent. Softly, he whispers to me…

" Wo aini [2], my angel… "

Quietly, I sigh and cuddle in closer to Wu Fei.

" Te quiero[3], my dragon…"

I close my eyes as sleep begins to wash over me. The nightmare
was over for now. Just a dream passing.

 

~OWARI~
[1] Reference to one of the CROW comics. I don't remember
exactly which one it was, but it sure was funny as hell!
[2] Means I love you in Chinese
[3] Means I love you in Spanish