Title: Rainbow Sherbet (1/P+11)
Author: Bronze Tigress
Genre: yaoi lemon lemon with plot plot

For this Part:
Pairings: 5x2, 3+D permanent
Rating: NC17 for adult topics of conversation
Warnings: yaoi, explicit conversation, reference to past uglinesses
Spoilers: for Trowa's Episode Zero, some early series episodes

For overall rating, full range of pairings, full warnings, full spoiler
notices, author notes, and disclaimer see Prologue.

~*~*~*~*~
Part 1: Tuesday evening
Dinner and a Proposition


When Wufei walks into the apartment he shares with Duo after work that
day, his partner is already home, and starting to organize vegetables
on the kitchen counter to begin making dinner. Dropping off his shoes,
keys and jacket in their places near the door, he rolls up his sleeves
as he heads into the kitchen to join Duo. The conversation with
Dorothy is still uppermost in his mind, and he brings up the subject almost
immediately, telling Duo, "I had the most interesting chat with Dorothy
Catalonia this afternoon."

"Oh, don't tell me she wants us for one of *her* missions this
weekend!" Duo nearly groans at the thought.

"No, nothing like that at all. In fact, she came looking for me; it
seems she is having a little trouble behind the curtains and wanted some
advice."

"What? She's asking *you* for bedroom tricks?" Duo is flatly
incredulous at the thought, and nearly peels his thumb instead of the carrot he
is working on.

Wufei quickly repeats the gist of Dorothy's babbled speech for Duo. He
is a little surprised at the vehemence of Duo's reaction. "Shit. I
knew it. I thought I'd have more *time*, dammit," are Duo's first words,
and Wufei is somewhat alarmed by the self-directed anger in the words.
He is perhaps even more surprised when Duo continues, "Call him, would
you, 'Fei? See if he can come over for dinner?"

Wufei takes one look at the determined expression on Duo's face -
something that looks eerily as if he is preparing to push THE button(1),
and, putting down his knife, says, "Of course, Duo, but... I would like
an explanation next, please," before he goes over to the comm unit to
place the call. He manages to catch Trowa before that young man has even
really made it through his door, so the offer of dinner is gladly
accepted, although Trowa appears to be just as surprised at receiving the
invitation as Wufei is to be making it. He does request enough time to
change, setting an arrival time of half an hour hence or so.

"Half an hour? That's fine," is Duo's comment on hearing that news.
"Yeah, over dinner would be good. I need to talk to him about some
kinda personal stuff, and it looks like I've run out of time to sneak
around it..."

Wufei looks very confused by now, not understanding what Duo is talking
about. "Ah, Duo? What do you mean, 'run out of time'? Time to do
what? In fact, why not start at the very beginning for me?"

"Look Wufei, you know how antsy Tro was about working with people, or
opening up around them, or touching them? Especially when we first met?
Remember how he was always trying to push Quatre away? Oh, no, that's
right, you didn't hear endlessly about that for a month," Duo says,
rolling his eyes. He pauses to finish dicing the zucchini and scoop it
into the pan. "I dunno what he did when he went after you when you went
chasing Khushrenada after New Edwards, but anyway - then he went to
look after Heero when he blew up. I know he admired him, for one thing,
but I'm betting an unconscious body isn't very threatening - nor a man
so dedicated to his mission he'd rather blow himself up than fail..."

"You may have a point; he hauled Shenlong out of the ocean and
basically sat suicide watch on me for three days - no, Duo, there would have
been no honour in that," Wufei quickly adds at sight of Duo's shocked and
worried expression, "but he did not know me well enough to know that,
and I was very depressed and confused at the time. No, he never got
closer to me than really needed. At the time, I dismissed it as
unimportant - along with almost everything else, such was my despair and
confusion - but it is true nonetheless."

The two chop and stir in quiet harmony for a while before Duo speaks
again. "But - when he got that envelope back in May, remember?(2) He
hugged me back," Duo says, picking up his narration where he left off.
"When we first met he would have frozen, then flung me off, then bolted
from the room if I'd done that. He still froze, but it was from
surprise more than fear. Cathy was very good for him that way, and, well,
I've been working on him some too lately.

"So it's not just contact, or girls - he always was more considerate of
them. No, it's gotta be specifically what Dorothy *wants* that kiss to
lead to that he's afraid of... I know he's not worried about me or my
intentions; we had a chat about that on Peacemillion, 'cause he *did*
do the freeze and fling thing one time when I accidentally grabbed him
instead of a railing and he wasn't expecting it." Duo breaks off with a
small chuckle. "Although given where I grabbed him, it wasn't a big
surprise he was upset. Still. I probably should have talked to him
then, I guess, but there was this little problem of about four other
factions out there fighting a war. So, I promised him I'd never start
anything physical with him, instead - it was the best I could think of at the
time, and it really wasn't the time for any of us to be distracted,
especially by each other. I figured I'd have some *time* afterwards, you
know, to help him work through it, and it could wait until later. It
isn't going to wait any more, though."

He turns towards Wufei, then, evidently weighing his next words very
carefully. "I think something must've happened to him - probably after
he came to space, because from what he's told me, there wasn't anything
that could explain it that happened while he was with his first Merc
group. And it's not just the thing with that girl who betrayed him - he
wouldn't have the problem with people touching him if it were just that
sort of betrayal... I dunno, maybe it was just something he saw,
but..." Duo's voice is uncertain, and he leaves the thought hanging for a
while as he concentrates on stirring dinner.

Finally, when he continues, Duo's voice is more certain. "Whatever it
was, it seems to have made him equate sex with pain - and probably a
bunch of other nasty things - and it's still making him leery of being so
close to people. It's the only reason for him to put Dorothy off like
that without an explanation; there's ways around anything else - most
of them cheaply available in any department store pharmacy aisle." He
stops, thinking, then shakes his head. "Nope. Gotta be that - he's
afraid of hurting her, and if he takes that next step, he must think
that's what'll happen. It's damned obvious he loves her, and more to the
point, wants her. You've only gotta look at how his stance changes
whenever she shows up to figure *that* one out.

"And y'know, if she's complaining to you, Mr. Grouch," Duo notes,
pausing to kiss the tip of an offended nose, "then she's feeling the same
way. The way I see it, if something doesn't happen very soon to change
his mind about that equation, well, it's probably not going to be
pretty, and he'll probably prove himself right." Duo stops, then, looking to
Wufei for a sign that his partner has followed the somewhat rambling
explanation. Wufei has a contemplative look on his face as he considers
Duo's assessment of the observed data, coming to much the same
conclusions. He nods slowly.

"So, assuming that you are correct and that *is* the problem, you
mentioned talking to him, but also that you have been 'working on' him
somehow?" Wufei's voice has a timbre to it that Duo recognizes as 'full
scholar mode' - every bit of information being dissected for all its
secrets even as they are being correlated with every other bit, at a rate
faster than anything Heero's laptop has ever managed.

"Well, Dotty's frustrated, but she's seeking opinions," Duo says then.
"Which means there's still time to do something about it, but..." Duo
trails off somewhat uncertainly, and looks almost pleadingly at his
lover, "I think I know what will work, but I'm going to need your
agreement, and probably your help. If Dotty's talking to *you*, then we really
don't have time for the slow way, even if it's probably the better
choice. You've heard the phrase about a picture being worth a thousand
words? Well, a demonstration's worth enough still pictures to make the
video, right?"

"And you intend to provide this demonstration of how his current view
is incorrect, I take it?"

"Uh, huh. Talking him through it - *just* talking - is going to take
too damned long under the circumstances. Before I got with the
Sweepers, after the Church, a lot of the Walkers spent time watching over me; I
got 'em stuff, they told me the good places to hide out and stuff.
They talked to me, too, told me their stories. I remember a few of them,
they were there 'cause they felt all they were good for was the
streets; they were the real pros - did whatever it took, always worked alone,
and once they were done for the night, they'd make like pieces of the
shadows. Sound familiar? Substitute 'soldier' in there and you've got
Tro... He's a very caring person, from everything I know and have
heard about him from the rest of you. Whatever happened, it hurt him -
probably physically, but definitely emotionally - and he doesn't want to
be hurt again. More importantly, though, he doesn't want to be the one
doing the hurting. Makes sense, right?"

"Ah..." Wufei nods, translating the euphemism by context. Deciding
it's not terribly important, he asks, "so, hypothetically, you want to
show him...?"

"First, that it doesn't have to hurt. Second, that he's capable of
being with someone without having that mean he's going to be causing
pain."

"And you wished to do this by taking him to bed?"

"Uh, yeah. Simplest way, don't you think? I mean, we could talk to
him for months, and not have it sink in, but there's nothing quite like
experience, y'know? And it doesn't look like he's *got* months any
more, either."

"I see why you requested my consent..." Wufei thinks for a moment; he
has recognized the hard edge of determination behind Duo's expression,
and knows well what lengths his lover will go to, to do something he
feels *must* be done, especially when it is something that his family
needs. And from his tone, this is one of those things. Suddenly, Wufei
is quite certain that this isn't something he wants Duo to have to face
alone, for a variety of reasons. "The 'assistance' you mentioned - I
assume by that, that you wished my participation in this?"

Duo looks up, a sudden hopeful note in his voice. "'Fei, everyone -
and I mean *everyone* - always told me the first time would necessarily
hurt like hell, but it'd be worth it. But when the time came, it
*didn't* hurt. At all. It was just..." His eyes unfocus slightly and his
smile softens dramatically before he continues in a softer voice, "When
they write about heaven? I think I saw it there for a second." Had he
been looking, he would have been privy to the rare sight of Chang Wufei
blushing, but he was too busy shaking his own head to clear it. "The
mechanics of *how* you manage that, on the other hand - those, I'm
pretty fuzzy on. I'm, uh, not usually paying attention to *what* you're
doing, just how damn good it feels. But I know you can explain the
mechanics; I saw some of your research notes."

"Duo! You weren't supposed to see those..."

"Ah, ah. Once a thief, remember? And I found it incredibly sweet,
anyway, that you cared enough to do that... I hadn't even really thought
about it seriously until I found those notes. Never did find out why
you were looking it up then, either; it sure didn't seem like you were
*planning* anything. Just being prepared maybe?" He gets a brief, shy
nod in reply. "Don't be embarrassed, 'Fei. It's one of the nicest,
most caring things..." Duo abruptly shakes himself. "Tro's gonna be
here in a minute. Are we gonna do this?"

For answer, Wufei wraps his arms around Duo's waist in a gentle embrace
and kisses the back of his neck ever so softly before nodding silently
against his shoulder. Then he turns back to stir the pan again and
check the noodles. "So, is tonight to be just a straightforward
discussion, or more than that? I should think a little time for thought would
probably help him. And that goes for me, as well..."

"We see what happens? Probably a little of both, I guess. We talk, we
offer, we let him know we care about *him*, we set up a date for the
weekend? Then we won't have to rush things. It has to be up to him to
go ahead with this, though." Duo stops, and then turns Wufei to look at
him as he asks, "You know I wouldn't do this for just anyone, right?"

"I know. And that you *would* do this is part of why I love you."

"'Fei...?"

Duo's question is abruptly interrupted by several firm raps at the
door. Wufei drops a small kiss on his love's cheek and steps back. "Why
don't you put the plates out and find the nice glasses while I get the
door?"

It is, indeed, Trowa at the door. "And here I didn't think I'd told
anyone I finally got some records back, yet. How'd you know?" Wufei
thinks he is looking quite cheerful, and rather curious about the purpose
behind the dinner invitation. It being a Tuesday, after all, it's
difficult to put it down to weekend entertaining!

"Ah. Well, that wasn't why we asked you here, but, this is indeed good
news!" Wufei is truly pleased to hear that his friend has had more
good luck in his quest for his past.

"It's not?" Trowa is now thoroughly curious as he struggles with his
shoes in the doorway.

"No. It was Duo's idea, so I will let Duo explain. For now, come in,
let me take that..."

So Trowa is ushered in, and they have dinner - which is better than
Catharine's soup by a long shot, although it falls rather squarely into
the category of "home cooking" rather than that of "haute cuisine".
Trowa is still impressed, however.

Wufei is, understandably, somewhat distracted throughout dinner. Since
Duo is happily chatting about work and friends and department gossip,
he is able to listen with only half an ear. He can almost smell the
segue waiting to happen, but is content to let Duo take his time leading
up to the true topic for the evening. Instead, for the first part of
dinner, he turns his attention to contemplating the problem at hand.

He wonders, briefly, if he is really able and willing to participate in
the activities Duo has obviously got in mind - or deal with their
ramifications. One thing Wufei does know is that he's not willing to simply
drop this in Duo's lap to deal with; one way or another, he plans to
support his partner in whatever he feels necessary - and this does seem
to meet Duo's definitions of 'necessary'. Certainly, he knows, both he
and Duo care deeply for Triton - as they do for all of the other
ex-pilots. And he *is* pleasant to look at. Nor would this be a casual
affair, really, for although it seems unlikely that it would be repeated,
it would be neither particularly casual, nor would it fit most
definitions of an 'affair'. More like... a temporary expansion of boundaries.

*Feh.* If Wufei is truly honest with himself, he can't deny that he
has felt something more than just friendship for the green-eyed young man
who is listening intently to Duo's chattering at the moment. Whether
it is purely gratitude towards someone who pulled him past the worst
parts of a shocking and nearly suicidal depression, or something more, he
never bothered to think on, before. Whatever it is, however, he is
suddenly quite certain that this is something he wants to be able to do
for his brother pilot, a gift in exchange for a gift.

Ideally then, Wufei thinks, if he and Duo are to become teachers, they
ought to impart some technical information and experience, and as much
knowledge as he can add to that concerning a female partner. The
syllabus is not in doubt. No, the problem would be two-fold. It would be
fairly simple to show him that the experience could be pleasurable,
provided that Triton agreed to be shown. The problem would be getting him
to agree; failing that, or perhaps even given that, would be
demonstrating the less tangible, emotional content.

Contemplating how best to introduce this to Tro- *Triton* - the new
name is still a bit strange even after a few months, and despite Wufei's
resolve to practice using it, it isn't yet automatic - Wufei suddenly
realizes something that might be a very useful argument. So he takes the
opportunity of clearing plates to whisper to Duo, somewhat cryptically,
that a new name makes a new man - and that there is a first time for
everything - and everyone.

Duo's eyes widen, and when Wufei returns with a tray of cookies and the
pitcher of juice for refills, he leans back in his chair to tell him,
"Whether it is or not." Dinner being complete, and Wufei evidently back
with the conversation, Duo mentions that the most interesting thing
that happened today was that Wufei had run into Dorothy, and she had
actually *wanted* to talk to him, specifically. Seems, according to Duo's
flippant observation, as if she'd been asking him for marital advice.

"Duo! That was not..."

"'Fei, that's exactly what it was, and you know it. But I'll rephrase
it, if it makes you feel better..." Trowa, at this point, is starting
to look *distinctly* pink. Duo turns and gestures to him with a
cookie.

"Look, Tro - you called us your brothers, right? We - Wufei and I -
take that very seriously. So, look - I know this is probably gonna be a
little weird and uncomfortable, but I got the feeling there was a rush
on this, so can you just remember that we're doing this for *you*,
because we care about our brother, okay? Family is something to be looked
after, and not just by feeding and housing you. And at the moment,
we're worried about emotional health. You love Dorothy, right?"

Trowa nods, obviously confused and discomfited by the turn the
conversation has taken, but latching onto the question as something he does
understand.

"Wufei told me she had complained that you don't kiss her. I expect
it's more than just that *but* - what's important is that she was upset
enough that she told Grouchy here."

Wufei squawks, in a most undignified way, at the nickname. Trowa,
meanwhile, is beginning to look rather like he has been poleaxed.

"You've gotta admit, hon, you *do* give off that untouchable grouch
vibe... Anyway, it just, I dunno, clicked with something a few of the
Walkers who looked out for me when I was alone said, about why they were
there. But, Tro?" Duo sits forwards and looks intently into Trowa's
eyes, making sure he has his attention before continuing, "It doesn't
matter who hurt you or how, really. That was then. Right now, you need
to know that it doesn't have to be that way, and that being with someone
doesn't mean you're going to hurt them. I didn't really believe that
part myself, about it not hurting, until 'Fei proved it to me, so I know
we can prove it to you. We," he waves a hand indicating himself and
Wufei, "talked a little, before dinner, and we agreed," he looks over to
Wufei for a confirming nod, "that we'd like to offer you the chance to
find that out for yourself, and to help however we can."

Wufei adds, "It is your choice, of course. But, think on this. The
past cannot be changed, but the lens through which we regard it - that is
another matter, is it not? Whatever this thing is that was so hurtful
to you, it is something that befell Nanashi. *You*, however, are now
Triton. You have a chance to begin again. Cookie? And we would both
be most honoured to show you another way to look at this matter."

Trowa absentmindedly goes through another three cookies - mostly
because Wufei puts them into his hand as soon as it becomes empty - before he
manages to focus and speak. "Ah... You guys don't pull any punches,
do you? You're right, I guess, Duo. I try not to think about it, you
know? It's not the best set of memories, and that's by comparison to
what I *have* told you guys already. But it sounds like I need to think
about it now, and stop putting it off, hmm? What happened, what I saw,
what I know - the short version is that it was all about pain and
control. And I don't want to do that to Dorothy. I want..."

When he trails off, Wufei prompts gently, "What, Triton? What do you
want for her?"

"To keep her safe, make her happy, I guess. Same things I'd say if you
asked about Cathy, but... It's different with Dorothy. I want it to
be *me* that makes her happy, me that makes her feel good..."

"And you're not sure how to do that, and the method she seems to be
choosing doesn't make sense to you, because it's not something that you
associate with good feelings." Trowa nods in reply to Duo's question,
looking miserable and uncertain and vaguely inadequate, as if he has run
into something that his past and training has left him completely
unprepared for.

Duo's voice manages to be both briskly businesslike and compassionate
at the same time. "Look, Tro - there are no guarantees here, but we can
try. If you want; only if you want. Whatever you think will help -
within reason - and at your pace, as much as possible. But, I have a
feeling that sooner would be better; give you a chance to absorb the info
and have it figured out before she gets really frustrated, y'know?
Lessee, it's Tuesday now. Did you have anything planned for this weekend?
Because having a couple of full days to work with might be good - this
isn't really something to be rushed, if done correctly."

"Ha... Well. Yeah, you're probably right," Trowa agrees. "Before I
have a chance to get nervous about it, might be best. Um... Look, you
said 'show me', right? Did you mean to demonstrate *on* me? Or just
demonstrate *for* me?"

"I believe the former is what Duo had in mind when he proposed this to
me - not more than an hour ago, might I add - but if the latter would
be helpful to you, that would probably help *me*," Wufei says, voice
edged with something unfamiliar that neither of the other two can place.
"This is not... something either of us would do for just anyone - or
for anyone but you, most likely. And this is not something I had ever
considered before. I believe we can arrange that, however. As you said
- now, before I have a chance to become nervous. Or to doubt my sanity
in agreeing to this. Did you wish to fetch some things from your place
for the morning? I think it might be good to talk afterwards again,
and there is a spare bed in the other room if you wish to use it..."

Trowa blinks, then nods, appearing to come to a decision. "Yeah, that
might be a good idea."

"Good. Why don't you go do that, and my _qidi_(3) and I will, ah, fix
up the bedroom for you." Wufei stands, then, and walks Trowa to the
door. He stands in the doorway for half a minute, then, watching Trowa's
back retreat down the hallway.


~~~~

(1) that would be the self-destruct button for Deathscythe, in this
case.

(2) a reference to Orange Crush, a previous fic in the timeline,
wherein Trowa receives confirmation of his sibling relationship with
Catharine, and hence recovers his original name. Not everyone *uses* it all
the time yet, and for ease of reference he remains "Trowa" in the
narrative text; various characters name him as they deem appropriate.

(3) _qidi_ - Chinese, literally meaning "adopted younger brother", but
historically used to refer to the younger of a pair of permanently
bonded male lovers. His _qixiong_ (literally meaning "adopted older
brother") would be responsible for him in exactly the same manner as he would
be for a wife, and while the ceremony involved resembled that of
swearing blood brotherhood, it also contained additional elements more in
common with the marriage ceremony. Related terms are _xiongdi_, and
_dixiong_, both of which carry a (doubled) meaning of "brother", although
the former usually refers to one related by blood, and the latter to one
who is chosen and/or sworn as same.


Next ---> Rainbow Sherbert 2


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