Konnichi Wa! Tales Of Insanity!

Episode 4

Censorship Sucks!

(When we left the gang they were battling for their lives amidst a forest of plantlife bent on their destruction. Does it have anything to do with Tim’s sudden appearance? Or am I simply talking out my arse? Read on…read on…) Kryen Madiera! How many of these things are there? there’s more coming! It’s just not stopping! I don’t know how much longer my powers can hold out! I wish I could do more than kick a few plants…I mean look at Asuka! (Asuka is tearing into a particularly stubborn branch with her teeth, snarling like an animal, while Rei has picked up a small katana and is fending off some little buds) just get stuck in there with the rest of us! kakarot is right, kakarot! Just get in there! (While Vegeta turns super saiyan Bob and Wingy are unleashing their powers upon the swarm of plants that are rapidly closing in around them.) these things are worse than dad’s pets! They just keep coming! (A septagram appears on the floor and several of the trees burst into flame) I’m a little uneasy you using your powers in this situation, adversary. (Bob grabs his spatula and a beam of light fires through another wave of the trees, vapourizing them.) the feeling’s mutual choir boy! Just keep that thing away from me for now! Agreed. (Hmm sounds familiar…) Let us put our differences aside for now. sure! Can’t vouch for the consciences though… sorry? What was that? Nothing! (Floppy, Rodrigo, and Alex, being the only ones without powers it seems, have backed themselves into a corner and are fending for themselves.) Uhh rod? This would be a good time for a ‘nam flashback! I’m afraid I think I’ve been cured! eh heh…sorry about that… oh, never mind! We’ll fend them off normally then! GYAAAAAH! (Plant fluid flies everywhere as Alex and his two friends fly into the nest of trees, slashing away) I think it’s time for me to start using my full potential! FIIIIIINAAALLL FLAAAAASHHH!!! (Light fills the living room and all the plants disappear. everyone is comically char-coloured and burnt by the energy wave.) Gee…koff koff…thanks…idiot… you are welcome kakarot! that wasn’t the last of them! Get back to work! (Thinking to himself as the battle rages on…) this is hopeless! How are we going to beat them when they keep coming? Dammit! I wish I could help somehow! Why can’t I do anything?! hey…what’s with the kid glowing like that? what are you….? Ohh boy! (Energy is whisping around Alex and he’s started to glow brighter and brighter. He places his hands in the usual kame hame ha stance…) what? That stance? It can’t be? GYAAAAAH! HENTAI…HAME…. HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! hey. That looks like a giant…. (The small demon is cut short by a tremendous explosion, which accompanies the phallically shaped beam striking a large section of the plants…After this huge exertion Alex slumps to the floor and ceases to glow.) hey buddy! You all right? (gasping for air) it’s…no…use…….they…keep on…. Coming…. (He collapses to the floor unconscious and Floppolom runs to his side) Alex! Guys! We need to keep him away from those things! there’s just too many! They won’t stop! (Trees surround everything, and it looks like everyone is about to be slain…when, all of a sudden…the trees stop and a voice can be heard from outside) Tree card! Return to your card! CONFINE! (The trees all suddenly retreat and disappear outside, just as quickly as they had overrun the living room…. everything is quiet for a few minutes until the voice is heard again.) Hello? Is there anyone in there? I’m coming inside! (Everyone remains motionless as a young boy comes around the corner, dressed head to toe in some sort of ritual garb) Uhh hi! My name’s Fred! I’m a cardcaptor! Sorry about the mess but that card’s quite persistent! that forest belonged to you? no not “belonged” per se…. More like “escaped”. I don’t care what you are! You’re paying for the damages! Especially that hole in the roof! But wasn’t it Tim that….? Shut uuuup! Why is your name Fred? You look more Japanese than American. oh that…well my real name isn’t Fred.. I’m only called that due to American censorship and editing! huh? my show was originally full of stuff the American’s wouldn’t show! You won’t believe half the (shoot) we get up to on that show! Half the guys are (flakking) each other all the time and I won’t tell you about the (carp) the girls get up to in the locker room! this is getting confusing! here, here! so these cards you capture…. They been letting themselves loose around here recently? yeah…listen…. Would it be ok with you guys if I stayed here for a while? The cards have only been active close to this area so this place is ideal for me to hide out in! you can take the corner of my room…Alex won’t mind, he’s let me use his for a while now… perhaps we should ask Alex when he regains consciousness? Aww just leave the dumkopf! He’ll have to find out his own way…. …I think I ruptured a spleen or something… Winged one! May I speak with you privately for a moment? Sure…I know what you’re going to say…I recognized it too. is it even possible? After all these centuries? I don’t know…I’ll have to get on the line to my pops…I suggest you do the same… Agreed, winged one. (There’s that agreed again!) I shall contact my father and enquire about this… I hope you people are going to help me tidy up? yeah…about that…RUN! (Everybody scrambles for the door, which closes just before anybody makes it through. Everybody, naturally, slams into each other and fall all over the floor clutching their noses/genitalia etc.) (clutching his nose) damnb your pthycic powerth cat! get tidying! The lot of you! (And we leave them to their duties)

To Be Continued!