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Illegal Alien Shot by Police
A criminal illegal alien (is that redundant?) was shot by Phoenix police right below the yellow dot. (All illegal's have 'em.) He actually worked at the Carl's Jr. across the street but the police missed him when he left work finally catching up to him near the Circuit City on east Cactus Road.
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TV Helicopters Film the Action
What drew your Mr.Wonderful to the scene of the action was the site of three news helicopters hovering near the MW mansion.
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TV Antenna Shoots into the Sky
Of course, if I was to get as close as the television folk and snap a picture, I would be arrested. I'm really unclear as to how media morons rate ahead of Mr. Wonderful when it comes to spreading the news.
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American Hero, Governor Joe Foss
Speaking of shooting here's World War II hero Joe Foss who shot down twenty one or so Japanese aircraft. This is the gentleman who was virtually strip-searched at Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport by security guards (who couldn't tell you the difference between shoe laces and spaghetti) when his Congressional Medal of Honor set off the metal detectors. Doesn't he just look like your everyday thirty-something Arab extremist? Of course, in the name of fairness, Vice President Al Gore was also searched. The only problem is, we ain't lookin' for fairness you friggin' dolts, WE ARE TRYING TO STOP POSSIBLE HIJACKERS FROM FLYING COMMERCIAL AIRLINERS INTO BUILDINGS !!!
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Sport Suffers Radiation Sickness
Your Mr.Wonderful, in conjunction with the PGA (Professional Golfers Association) had to travel to Chernobyl to help clean up the horrible radiation spill so we could build a par 68 8200 yard monster course. I made the mistake of taking my dog Sport. Here you may witness the consequences of the ingestion of radioactive isotopes by an inquisitive canine.
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Sport Doesn't Need a Flashlight
Later that night I noticed that Sport's eyes were glowing more brightly than most flashlites I own. I hope he's still glowing around Halloween it'll be so much fun. Course, by Halloween, we all may be glowing, if you know what I mean.
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