Saturday, May 25, 200212:40pm ~ So, I'm back in Oberlin, how wacky. All this traveling confuses me. I got in yesterday afternoon. So far it's been really fun, last nigt was a very good night, despite the fact that I'm homeless and my id card does me no good here. So lots of subway and sleeping on floors, but that's okay. So when I arrived and randomly checked my mailbox and there was a postcard in it from PBS saying they got my application and are reviewing it, which made me really really happy, cause I'd just assumed I got it in too late or something and would never hear from them. So this means there's still hope for doing something interesting this summer. Otherwise I think it's Ben and Jerry's, which would be fun, but I'd feel a bit old and lame. Although apparently the job's mine, except that I'd have to go to a training session on tuesday, which is when I'm supposed to be going to the beach (which isn't too big of a deal to postpone), but now I also have the PBS thing as a possibility again and that complicates matters.

But anyway, back to here. So apparently I missed out on a lot of inner-group conflict while I was gone, which makes me happy, haha. It's nice to miss out and then just get to hear about it when you get back and be disconnected enough that you can't get sucked in. Hooray to that.

So last night we went to Heather's house where they were having a gathering, which was random but fun and randomly joke-filled. Then we went off to the sco for eighties night with real eighties people (alumni reunions, hehe). That was really fun, and I ended up staying till it closed, and there was some sketchy but fun dancing. Getting hit on's fun. Then Adam Vivek and I headed back to the dorms and decided we'd go somewhere and chat. So we hung out in the Burton main lounge, and talked for awhile, and then talked to some funny alumni. This is getting me happy and excited about being a future Oberlin alum, haha. These people are funny and having a really good time. They relayed stories of the lack of internet access and rooms in the dorm that used to be other things and random stuff. Twas cool. Anyway, so the three of us talked till about 4, then went to bed. A very quality night.

Today however, I woke up to meet people for lunch and couln't find them, and that kinda sucks cause I'm tired. But oh well. Right now I've broken into Reba's room and I'm using her computer. But now it's Subway eating time, so more later. Byebye for now.

Tuesday, May 21, 20021:09am ~ Hello hello. It's been awhile, no good. So, I'm back home. It's nice, I've mostly just been unpacking and getting my room back to normal, and watching lots of movies of course. It's been good to see people again, though I've only seen Clarke, Eileen and Sarah so far. I'm gonna fly back up to Oberlin this weekend though, for commencement and Reba's birthday, which is a bit odd. It'll begin the disjointedness of the summer though. After that, I think I'm going to visit Thomas at the beach. Then we start the job search hardcore. I dunno how that'll end up. We'll see.

Tonight I went to see About a Boy. Good movie. It was really well done, psychologically true, sweet, satisfying, and unsentimentalized. It made me happy. And made me wanna write. Cause it did what I wanna be able to do, and what I like to see be done.

I'm sleepy. I've been sleeping really late, and that's annoying me cause I wanna be productive this summer. So I'm trying to start doing that early so I don't get in a laziness pattern. So I should really be asleep right now, but oh well. Tomorrow needs to be a massive laundry doing day. I've been enjoying unpacking and making my room full and lived in and me again. Hehe. It's nice. I've updated lots of things now. Well... my room and this page, but still. It's nice. Crazy fake adult-ish me.

Oprah pisses me off. That's what I say. And that "Princeton Professor" that was on yesterday. He can bite me. He made good points, but goddamnit if he wasn't oversimplifying and making himself look retarded. Ok, that's that on that. I should just stop watching Oprah.

So much to read.... So much writing I wanna do.... I wanna take some classes this summer too. I think that'd be good. Pottery and hopefully photography too. That'd be great. I really wanna keep doing potttery. Yay to Adam and his teaching skills. And hopefully when I go back to Oberlin there'll be some glazed pots ready for pickup.

Tomorrow Eileen and I are supposed to go to Ben and Jerry's to find Helena and ask about work, hehe. Then tomorrow night we're having a hair dying girly party apparently. Watch tv and movies and such. Then tomorrow night I'm going to the opera. Hehe, how randomly classy. W/ my mom. It'll be fun. I've played the music from it before, so I'll be appreciating that at the very least. I haven't gone to the Kennedy Center in awhile though, and haven't done stuff like that with my mom in a bit, so it'll be nice.

Ooh, and I talked to Thomas online tonight, so he's all internety at the beach, and that makes me really happy.

Ok, bedtime. I'm damn tired. Byebye =)

May 11, 2002 1:30pm ~ I am tired. I've been ridiculous with sleeping lately. I just desperately require at least an hour long nap every afternoon. It's rather crappy. But anyway... Classes are over! Woohoo! I'm pretty happy about that, although it doesn't feel like too much of a difference. I'm still tired and a bit stressed, so it's not much of a break, and it's not like we're actually done yet, but ah well. My first final's not till wednesday, which is really nice, but it's Greek, so I should really be studying now. Or two months ago.

I haven't updated in awhile. That is sad. I was writing mad papers though. Guess what! Someone's supposed to give me stuff for the page! Woohoo! Yay Patrick! Gimme gimme. And sign my guestbook =) Hehe.

Yesterday I went to the new thriftstore-esque place in town, next to the Mandarin. It was a bit crappy, but I found a random thing that I had to buy for one of Thomas' friends who I don't talk to at all. So that's a little odd, but it was necessary. Now I just have to figure out how I get it to him... Maybe he can receive a mysterious package.

So Thomas left for the beach today. So wacky. We talked on the phone last night, and that was nice, though odd, and sad and feeling like we're saying goodbye. Even though we're not. I really hope I get to at least spend a little time with him this summer. It's really sad to think I'm not gonna see him for that long. He gets his birthday package from London this year though. That's pretty damn cool, haha. I've been feeling good about things lately though. I think cause we've gotten used to how to act with each other, what we still say, what we don't. I feel like I really understand his reasoning now, just through talking to him more, and that it's really coming from a place that I'm okay with and agree with. And that's definitely good. My thought of today is this: I'm sick of emotionally flakey boys. Thomas doesn't really fall into this category. He's pretty damn good that way. I'm really glad we're dealing with this as a complicated complex thing, cause it is. Whereas I've dealt with plenty of people where this would be just too damn weird and they would run away and whine. And I do think sometimes you get to a point where you need to cut things off, and where it really is just too complicated that it gets unhealthy, and then I say fine and yay. But otherwise, you don't give up something real and important to you because it's hard. Indeed. So yay to Thomas for being good in that category, and unendingly emotionally healthy which always surprises me, hehe. And for making it really clear that he cares about me through all this, no matter in what odd little ways it comes through. Haha. What a sweetypiehead.

So, I should start studying for finals now, huh? Indeed. I think I'm off to the library soon, but I was gonna take a shower first, but the bathroom smells insanely disgusting, so now I dunno.... I've gotta at least start catching up on some reading, and probably start reviewing early Greek stuff. At least going through flashcards and getting my vocabulary all beefed up. I'm really glad I'm done with papers. That was a sucky last few days. I really don't remember my English paper much though, and that's a bit worriesome.... I just kind of wrote it all from start to finish over a few hours and then sent it in without much reading over.... Ah well, hopefully it was okay. I've never had that turn out really badly.

Ok, I'm off. Good luck to you all on this loverly saturday of reading period.

Oh, and the annual folkfestival's going on this weekend, which I like. Though I didn't go at all yesterday, and I'l probably only go for a little today. It's a really nice relaxing nontimeconsuming way to spend this last weekend though. I wanna go home! Ah! Hehe.

Monday, May 6, 2002 11:37pm ~ People tend to say that they don't think young people can experience love. I, on the otherhand, am finding myself wondering if adult's can. I suppose there's no real reason for me to doubt it. Seems weird to me though, haha. I hope so though. I guess I just feel like it wouldn't be as intense as young/teenage/first love, and maybe that doesn't count. Though it does of course.

I'm actually in a productive state right now, so that's good. Cause I've got mad papers to write. I'm doing this now of course... but I still get breaks. Indeed. I'm tired though. Must fight it. And translate some Plato and write about Euripides and then write about some 18th century British literature. How exciting =) I wanna go home. Home indeed. Vivek's sick and now I'm scared. If I get sick during finals I will die.

Hmm... do I actually have anything to say? Or is this just a sad excuse to procrastinate? Umm.... Damn. We learned about death today in philosophy. Theories on mortality being good... And arguments for it being an individualizing thing, causing a person to separate themselves from the public world view, the "they", and arguments that it does the exact opposite, since you no longer have control over how you're defined when you die, and are therefore fully defined by the other. Wacky shit. I like that class. It understands why I didn't like my intro philosophy class. As Camus says, "Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest--whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories--comes afterwards." Yay him.

I got the new Jane today. Such a good magazine. I have to intern there sometime. Yes, definitely. Hopefully next winter term, and if not then, next summer. I'm just too damn wimpy. Ok, back to translating. The Apology's depressing now. Reading what someone says after they learn they're going to die is not particularly fun reading. Ok, byebye. Send me guestbook entries, forms, and good happy things.

more more more. Happy talking with Thomas lately. Makes me happy. I'm gonna be sad to not see him much for the next while. I like seeing him. What a wacky boy he is to me.

I love FoW! I want a new album and a concert! Aww... I miss them live....

Sunday, May 5, 2002 11:24pm ~ I had this update all written and my computer froze. How frustrating. I like today's quote a lot. Except that it's from the play I'm supposed to be writing a paper on. This weekend's been horribly unproductive. But a lot of fun. Friday I went to see Spider Man, which is sooo much fun and highly recommended. Last night was really random, but a lot of fun and I ended up going on a long walk with Dustin which was really fun. And we found swings. And a violently arguing couple, and a flip flop. Good stuff. I enjoy him thoroughly, and we don't hang out very much, so it was very nice.

I've been talking to a lot of people from home more lately, since we're all heading back there soon. That's been nice, and I'm really excited about seeing folks. Jake's gonna take me out to dinner =) Yay. There's lots of people I really wanna see though. This summer's looking to be a bit unimpressive, but hopefully fun and still interesting. I'm so freakin' tired. I wanna go home and not do anymore work. Blech. I'm really looking forward to the drive home with my mom too. Which is random, but 8 hours of talking leads to good conversation. Hehe.

Oh, yes... On saturday, the "Big Parade" was in town. Hehe. Some Oberlin students decided to put together a parade with kids from the town. Anyway, it made the front page of today's Cleveland Plain Dealer, AND, my friend Tim's in the front of the picture on the right.

I feel like all the new people I've met this year are seniors. That depresses me. Well, not all. But quite a few. How shitty.

I want summer though. I want Old Town and XandO and pole 76 and Stratford and Front Royal and good wonderful pretty home-like things. =( So soon. My neighbor started madly packing today. I'm trying to fight my urge to do the same. Hehe. Two weeks left.... Ok, now I'm tired and need to work. Oh, and also, I read some poems friday night, just randomly, and two were super-fitting to me right now. And one made me cry forever, haha. But anyway, those may appear here sometime. Ok, till later. Byebye.

May 1, 2002 12:18am(night of May 1st, technically May 2nd) ~ Sorry the guestbook's all screwy =( Keep trying, it'll make me happy beyond your wildest dreams. It's making changes, and hopefully won't delete me just cause I was lazy about stuff.... Oooh! Amy put a butterfly on my monitor, I just noticed that. Thank you =) I'm wackified. I took an hour and a half nap last night, and then set myself up for 8 and a half hours of sleep, yet still managed to sleep through a 10:30 alarm and Amy coming to wake me up. So no class for me. And then there was lots of drama with getting my philosophy paper turned in, but it's in, and now I've just gotta start that damn next one. Haha, my roommate's being eaten by the blinds. She just said, "Oh God, don't do this to me". It's been a weird day though. But not bad. I've been sleepy, but randomly hyper. And listening to George Michael.... He let me finish my paper last night. Yay him. I just got back from fourth meal, some story time at Harkness and some chatting at the decaf. I like randomly running into folks. That makes me happy. Eileen's redoing her page, and it's making me worrying me, cause then I'm gonna wanna redo mine, but I just did. Grrr. Hehe. Anyway, she asked me to take a picture for her for it, so I brought my camera out w/ me when I walked downtown with Reba and Vivek, and these are the pictures from the walk. They're my proof that Oberlin can be a pretty place, haha. Even if it only lasts for like two weeks out of the many we're here. Hmm.... Tommy filled out my form =) I just got it. That made me so happy. I was thinking about our punk quartet tonight. That was really one of the best things I've ever done. Funnest, most exciting, fulfilling, cool, nifty things ever. Tommy is my hero. I miss him.

Finney Chapel from across the street. Advertising of events. Path down the middle of Tappen Square. The bandstand through the trees. Some kids fighting in front of the arch. Haha. The first albino squirrel we ran into. The path to hall auditorium all purple and treey. The Apollo. Our one and only movie theater, with its one and only movie. The second albino squirrel we ran into. The Java Zone. Gibsons, and downtown Oberlin. Really. The tampon shelf. Ooh. Vivek. He says, "Mmmm... ScotchGuard....". Mudd, our library, home of the rainbow couches. The Big Daddy car. Yay! And just for kicks... Reba looking scary.