101. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
102. Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
103. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
104. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
105. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked-up by "the fuzz"?
A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."
106. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
107. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
108. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
109. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
110. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
111. Q: Why don't blondes breast feed?
A: Because they always burn their nipples.
112. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!
113. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
114. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
115. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
116. Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
117. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
118. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
119. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell her a joke on Friday night!
120. Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
121. Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
122 Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
123. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
124. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
125. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blonde electrician.
126. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3: So men can understand them.
127. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde?
A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
128. Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: A labrador.
A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
129. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
130. Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them.
131. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
132. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
133. Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
134. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
135. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
136. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
137. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
138. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.
139. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
140. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
141. Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
142. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
143. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
144. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.
145. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?
A: One's a busy ditch.
146. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
147. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
148. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
149. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
150. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
151. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
152. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
153. Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
154. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
155. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
156. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
157. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
158. Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech, varoom...screech, varoom...screech.....?
A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing red light.
159. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
160. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
161. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
162. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
163. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A: She can't say "No".
164. Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo.
165. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
166. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
167. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
168. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
169. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air.
170. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
171. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
172. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
173. Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
174. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
175. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
176. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
177. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don't know.
178. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
179. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on her.
180. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
181. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.
182. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
183. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but where ever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
184. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
185. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.