Right after I talked to Sara, she went off into Lance’s room and it took me awhile to find Javan. Finally though, I was about to give up when I heard a giggle from down the hall. Standing in my doorway, I pretended to be engrossed in working the lock on my door and secretly looked down the hall.
Ashli looked down the hall hastily before turning back and blowing a kiss at someone’s door. Whoever’s room she was coming from I couldn’t tell, but for the sake of my own sanity, I prayed it was Justin’s.
Once Ashli disappeared into her own room, I stormed down the hall to Javan’s room and pounded on the door. This was the room Ashli came from. Javan open the door hastily and groaned through a clenched smile when he saw me.
“Brynn, what are you doing here??” He asked. My lips didn’t turn up, I didn’t turn around, I didn’t muster a smile.
“I wanna talk to you Javan, now. No more ‘I can’t talk right now’. No more dodging me. I don’t know what the hell if up with you but I want to talk to you about it right now.” I said as Javan looked a little taken aback. His blond, perfectly spiked hair was normal, his black sweater still hugged his slender frame the same, his khaki cargo pants still were the same length. But there was something unfamiliar in Javan. This wasn’t the Javan I knew and loved. I was scared.
“Ya we haven’t talked in a really long time. I’ve been meaning to talk to you too.” Javan said sweetly. My eyebrows creased with confusion at his comment, but he opened the door wider and I stepped inside and took a seat on the bed.
“Javan I want you to be honest with me. Straight up.” I said as he took a seat in a chair across from me and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and watching me closely, answered.
“Shoot.”
“What’s up with Ashli??” I asked as Javan took a deep breath and shook his head.
“Brynn are you implying that you think me, you’re best friend, is conspiring with Ashli?” Javan asked me incredulously. I took a deep breath. Right then it hit me. Javan was avoiding it. He was lying. Lance was right.
“Don’t avoid the subject Javan. Lance said something to me about seeing you and Ashli together, and I just saw her come out of your room. This entire week I’ve done everything in my right mind to protect you from what people think, to protect myself from what people think, and you’re questioning ME?” I asked as my eyes narrowed.
“Brynn don’t get worked up about this. I really don’t need that.” Javan said as I shook my head.
“O SHUT UP JAVAN. COME ON. You’re freakin cheating with your BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD’s girlfriend and you don’t need ME to get worked up????” I couldn’t believe him. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach three times. He wasn’t denying it, and if I knew Javan at all, which I was beginning to think I didn’t….he avoided things when he was not wanting to talk about them.
“Damn girl you need to get your ears checked out. That’s what I said.” Javan said, a slight smile playing on his lips.
I was raging by this point. I’d fiddled Lance’s friendship…..not trusted one of the few people I could trust…..because of a lie. I didn’t know how to deal with it.
“Javan I’ve risked everything for you, one of my best friends. Don’t you go give me your lip.” I muttered through clenched teeth before a tear fell down my cheek.
The look on Javan’s face that that comment induced scared me more than anything at that point.
“Oh Brynn, shhhhh honey I’m sorry..” He said as he stood up and walked over to the bed. He took a seat next to me as I watched him with an open mouth and a creased forehead.
“Listen I didn’t mean to get you upset about it. We’ve been best friends for years, you’d think I’d be able to be trusted.” Javan said as he pulled me into a hug, my tears streaming down my face. My emotions were so played with I didn’t know what to think.
“Lay down sweetie. It always helps.” He said softly, laying back himself, and since I was in his arms, me following with him. “No Javan I’d rather…” I said, pulling back up.
Javan’s arm tightened around me and pulled me back down. The simple gesture frightened me as I realized his strength.
“Just go with it Brynn. You haven’t had a guy you can lean on in so long. Kyle took that from you. I can bring that back to you. I can give you more than lip.” He said as I looked at him quickly, my eyes wide, blurred with tears.
“Javan STOP IT you’re scaring me.” I said forcefully as my breathing sped up and I felt his fingers graze my thigh.
“You know you want it Brynn. I’m not Kyle.” He said into my ear. I quickly turned away and attempted to stand up off of the bed but Javan’s grip was too much for me. Things weren’t right in my mind.
How was this happening? What was possessing Javan of all people to do this?? I was too scared to ration an answer.
“LET ME GO!” I yelled, struggling under his grip as I felt his cold hand touch my bare stomach beneath my shirt.
Tears continued to blur my vision but I didn’t give up trying to get out of his grip. No one’s voice ever seemed so repulsing to me. I wanted Javan away more than anything I’d ever wanted in my life. I was crying so hard I couldn’t even hear my own cries. What crushed me so much was this was one of my best friends.
No one’s voice ever sounded so god-like either. Lance.
“Brynn are you in here? I really…..” I heard Lance’s voice from down the hall of the hotel before he heard my teary yelling at Javan.
“What the HELL!!” Lance yelled as he heard me, running down the hall to find Javan basically on top of me as I struggled to get out from underneath him.
Lance threw Javan off of the bed with such force I didn’t even know he was gone. I couldn’t think straight anymore so I let Lance take care of Javan and just let the tears fall. I didn’t know what to do.
“What the fuck are you doing???” Lance yelled forcefully. I hadn’t ever seen Lance so infuriated….and I was thanking God Lance was there for me. The tears only came down harder as I thought about what could have happened.
“What’s going on here??” Lonnie came into the room with a determined look on his face. He saw my tears, Lance’s tense and infuriated expression and immediately grabbed Javan’s arm.
“With me, NOW.” He said as he whipped Javan out of the room. I struggled to sit up on the bed as Lance came over to me, his face softening. He sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me….
I’d never in my life felt more comfortable and protected in two arms.
“Brynn I’m so sorry.” He said softly, stroking my hair. Then he just let me cry…It was obviously what I needed. My best friend had just taken full advantage of me and I was scared. I just needed Lance there with me now.
