“Justin?” I knelt down next to him, looking back up at JC before touching Justin’s leg.
His eyes lifted to gaze into mine, and what I saw there scared me. He was crying, and it wasn’t just a simple ‘I’ve been hurt’ cry....he was shedding tears of somebody who had been crushed. “It’s happened.”
“What happened...Justin what is wrong?” Panic was beginning to take over me, he was being vague.
All he could do was shake his head..and I had to look back up at JC and Joey for answers. JC placed a shaky hand on my shoulder. His eyes told me something was very wrong, but his mouth spoke no words.
“Guys...what happened here?” I stood up, leaving Justin crumbled on the ground, and pushed my way towards Javan. “Javan..please, tell me what happened?” I reached for his hand, but he pulled it back...like the simple thought of my touch was enough to harm him. I backed away from him, a look of terror crossing my features.
“Sara, come with me.” Chris now stood by me, taking my hand in his, pulling on me gently..out of the center of the circle.
“Chris..why do I have a bad feeling about all of this?” We traveled down to the end of the hall, where it was quiet, and he could dump everything on to me, as lightly as possible.
“You’re not gonna like this.” He looked at me, but my eyes urged him to continue. “I hate being the one to tell you this....but well.....” He stopped, his head lowering so he no longer had to look at me.
“Chris...baby...tell me please.” I placed a tender hand underneath his chin, raising his head slowly so he was now staring into my eyes.
“Someone tried to rape Brynn.” My hands dropped down to my sides, and I backed away from him quickly, glancing down the hall towards the group that stood there.
“No...no..no. Chris that can’t be right.” I felt myself closing off...I needed to find Brynn..I needed to protect Justin..and I had to make Javan understand that he was still our friend..and that he needed to start acting like it.
“Sara....Sar..you can’t do this..don’t do this.” Chris reached for me, but I backed off again, my back hitting the wall behind me.
I shook my head, fast enough I made myself dizzy, and had to slip down to the floor to gain control. “This isn’t happening...not now...not ready.”
“Nobody is ready for this sort of thing.” Chris tried to sit down next to me, but I pushed myself back up, walking back towards the group. He raced around me, stopping me before I could move any further. “You have to stay here with me.” He pulled on my arm, through an open door.
“Chris, let me go...please..I have to go to them.” I tried to open the door, but I couldn’t get him to move his body.
“Trust me on this one...they are all in good hands...we need to deal with you.” He pulled me too him, even through my struggling, and held me tightly against his chest. I soon begin to relax against him, the warmth and comfort he brought, bringing me back to my senses.
“Who did this to her?” My question seemed simple enough, but after a long pause and no answer, the tightness in my chest started to return. “Chris?” I lifted my head up from his shoulder, trying to get him to look at me with his chocolate colored eyes. “Baby....what is it?”
“Sit down.” He moved me backwards, towards the bed that stood in the middle of the room.
“I don’t want to sit....” My knees hit the bed, and buckled...causing me to flop down on the soft mattress. “You’ve got to tell me Chris..you can’t hide it from me forever.”
He kneeled down in front of me, taking my hands into his, holding them close to his chest. “I’m really not sure how to tell you this...so I’m just gonna spit it out.....” He stopped again, looking at me one more time, before avoiding my gaze all together. “Javan.”
At first I thought I heard him wrong, but as he continued to stare at the wall, I knew that he was telling me the truth. “You’re telling me that Javan..as in my best friend did this to my other best friend..his best friend also. Ummmmm...why?”
“I wish I could answer all that for you....I don’t know.” He put his head in my lap, hugging my knees, and letting me smooth my fingers through is hair.
“I don’t understand though...why Javan.....I know he’s been distant lately..but I don’t...I just don’t....” I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, and they begin to cascade down my already tear stained cheeks. “Chris..this just can’t be happening.”
“I know...I know..it is though..and now we have to deal with it. Sara we have to help Brynn and Justin...you have to be strong for them...promise me that sugar.” He looked up at me, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill onto my clothes. “Promise me.”
“I can promise to do my best..but this affects me too Chris...” I placed my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me.
“I know....I know.” He let me hold him, until I was ready to go back into the hall.
Lonnie stood in the center of the crowd, trying to keep the boys from attacking Javan, and trying to keep the girls from becoming hysterical. He was worried about Justin, who hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor for the last few minutes...and Brynn who still hadn’t emerged from the room she was in. Most of all he was worried about me...I was the only one that hadn’t been affected by this directly, yet it was gonna hit me the hardest. I had to deal with losing one of my best friends, being the shoulder to cry on for another hysterical friend..and having to pick up the pieces to Justin’s broken heart...again. He glanced at all the faces he saw..so many sad and angry eyes stared back at him...he had never dealt with anything like this..and frankly he was frightened. He heard a door down the hall open, and Chris appeared...followed by someone who looked like they had the world on her shoulders. I seemed to be dragging my feet as Chris pulled me down the hall, but the moment my eyes met Javan’s..something changed in me...and from what he could tell..it wasn’t a good thing.
“You...” I pointed directly at Javan....my eyes turning stone cold. “How could you?” I pushed past Faith and Lizzy who stood stock still...their mouths hanging open.
Javan didn’t seem affected by my cold stare at all..in face he just seemed to brush it off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I wanted to strangle him...wanted to kick him..wanted to just plain knock some sense into that pretty little head of his. “Oh don’t play dumb with me Javan..you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“You mean..what I did to Brynn?” His question was so completely nonchalant, that I had to take a few steps back to regain my self control.
“Yes what you did to Brynn....Javan this isn’t something that can be taken lightly..do you realize what you have done?” I tried my hardest to remain calm...I tried to remember my promise to Chris..but the smug smile on his face needed to be wiped off.
“It’s really not that big of a deal...we were just messing around.” Javan eyes twinkled, and I couldn’t take it anymore...I felt myself bringing my arm back. My ears were unprepared for the sound that echoed inside of them...the dull sound of bone hitting bone...of flesh hitting flesh...and then..my knuckles begin to throb. I felt Lonnie’s arms go around me, as he picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I didn’t fight, didn’t move, didn’t do anything but keep my eyes closed. The world was spinning...and no matter how hard I tried....it wouldn’t stop. Justin was in pain..Brynn was in pain...I was in pain..and now..as Javan clutched his jaw, blood dripping down his nose and from his split lip...now Javan was in pain.
*Next Day*
After a rest-less sleep, many shed tears, and more words of comfort..I was unwilling to get up out of bed. To climb out from beneath the warm covers, from Chris’ protective arms..to actually face the reality of the situation was something I was not prepared for. I pulled the comforter up around my head, blocking out the sunlight that threatened to invade my senses. Chris had other plans for me though..for he threw back my protective layer, taking both my hands in his, and pulling me up off the bed.
“Sara, you can’t stay in bed all day...you’ve got to get up.” He pushed me towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, once I was inside. “Now shower and wake up.”
I groaned loudly through the door, but a smile breaking my gloomy mood as I heard him laugh. I placed my clothes on the counter, taking a good long look at myself in the mirror. In one night I had lost one of my best friends...that same friend tried to rape another one of my best friends...and that same friend again cheated on his best friend with his own girlfriend. Grrrr...that seemed to be the only audible sound I could make when it came to Javan and what he had done. For as long as I had known him, I never knew he was capable of this..something so deceitful, so manipulative and so hateful. My reflection proved that I was taking this harder then I meant to..granted I was hurting...but all that energy I was supplying for my pain, should be used on getting things back together. Justin needed some strong glue to piece his heart back together...Brynn needed a good friend to lean on...one to tell her things would get back to normal..and Javan..well he needed a good swift kick in the ass. That would be my first step this morning...getting him and Ashli off this tour. My attention was drawn down to my bandaged hand...my smile creeping back as I thought of my brave move. I never attended on punching Javan, but it seemed to be the answer at the time...and to tell you the truth..he had it coming. I turned the shower on....letting the steam fill the room...soaking into my tired body, and exhausted mind. I had thought so much about why....why he had done this..to Brynn, to Justin...even to me. Why...Why...Why...for some reason..there was no reasonable answer. Javan had done this...that’s all I could comprehend, and even that wasn’t processing well.
After a long hot shower, I felt somewhat refreshed, but I still felt like I was helpless in all of this. I dressed quickly, pulled my hair into a messy ponytail, and opened the bathroom door, to find my hotel room empty. I knew where Chris was, so pulling on some socks, I moved from my room, into the hall. Quiet and unoccupied, I figured everyone had congregated in another room....so I just followed the sound of the arguing. I pushed open the door, assessing the suite, and its contents. Lonnie stood in the middle, talking directly to JC...while Joey and Chris chatted in hush voices, every so often blurting out something they thought was important. I still did not see Brynn or Lance...I figured they were together some place. Javan stood off to the side, starting intently at the men in the room. Lizzy and Faith also were missing...but I did not blame them for not wanting to be a part of all of this. I stepped in gingerly, Lonnie noticing my presence.
“Sara...just the girl we’ve been waiting for.” He held out his hand, waiting for me to take it.
“Why were you waiting for me?” I took his hand, allowing him to lead me into the middle of the room.
“We would like to know your opinion on this matter.” Every eye was focused on me now...and feeling nervous I turned my concentration towards Chris. He gave me an encouraging look, so I glanced back up at Lonnie.
“Alright...what do you want my opinion on?” Javan seemed to stiffen up when I asked that question.
The room grew silent as we waited for Lonnie to answer me.... “Should Javan and Ashli leave this tour?”
I knew that this was coming..and I knew the answer...but I wasn’t sure if I could say it. My eyes wandered over towards Javan...who had his back against the wall..his eyes glued to me, stare so intense I had to look away. “Well....ummm....”
“Sara, ignore him...he’s only here because he insisted on it.” I met Joey’s direct stare and felt a little more at ease, but I still didn’t like the fact that Javan was in the room.
“Ummm...” I tried again, but Javan’s eyes were burning a hole into my head. “I can’t do this with him here.....please Lonnie..make him leave.”
Lonnie looked from me to Javan, shaking his head slowly as he maneuvered towards him. Javan backed off very quickly, holding up his hands in defense. “I have a right to be here..if you’re gonna make me leave, then I want to be one of the first to know....I will not hear it from one of them.” He pointed a quivering finger at all of us, his eyes blazed with fury.
I wasn’t going to allow him to hurt anyone else, so I stood up against him... “Javan...this has gone far enough....please just let us handle this.”
“Do you honestly think that I’m gonna listen to you...after you hit me?” Javan started to move towards me, but Lonnie grabbed the waistband of his pants, holding him into place.
“I had to do that Javan....” I couldn’t look at him any longer.
“What happened to watching out for each other...never once have you turned against me. Sara you’ve always been the strong one.” Javan’s voice softened, his hard edge disappearing.
However I wasn’t about to let him get to me.... “Why don’t you take those words to heart Javan...why weren’t you watching out for Justin..instead of sleeping with his girlfriend behind his back. Why weren’t you protecting Brynn..instead of taking advantage of her...and why did you have to crush my heart and soul?” My anger was rising again, and I knew that my next statement was going to hurt, but I would not regret it later. “Yes I want you OFF this tour. I no longer want you apart of my life...or apart of their lives.” I swung my arms around, indicating the people who surrounded me.
“You can’t kick me off....because I want to leave. I spent my whole life on nothing but wasted friendships....you aren’t worth my time or my energy anymore.” Javan threw one more dirty glare in my direction, before flinging the door open and storming out.
I collapsed to the floor, the guys quickly enveloped me, giving me words of encouragement, hugs that were supposed to make me feel better, and the attention they figured I deserved. I didn’t even comprehend what was going on....Javan’s words played over and over again... “I spent my whole life on nothing but wasted friendships...you aren’t worth my time or my energy anymore.” Tears fell from my eyes, showing no signs of stopping...my heart was now not only broken, it was shattered.
