“She wants to, but she won’t allow herself to open up. I’m trying though Sar, I promise I’m trying.” She pushed the magazine onto the floor, glancing over at me. “I’m worried about Justin though, he’s getting worse.”
Her eyes showed so much emotion, and when she mentioned Justin’s condition, they grew watery. “Kylie, you can’t quit on me, I’m about to loose my two best friends, I need you.” I searched her face for some sort of relief to my anguish, and was happy to see a bit of hope shining through in them.
“I’m not gonna quit, but I just thought that Justin would be so happy to see me. My question is, he wasn’t that close to Ashli, why has he closed off so much?” She pulled her legs up underneath her, sitting up on the bed.
“Probably because she not only cheated on him, but she did so with Javan. I think its more Javan then Ashli though. The simple fact that he’d go behind Justin’s back with his own girlfriend, then have the nerve to take advantage of Brynn. Justin’s very protective of me and Brynn...so this is just killing him..because he wasn’t there when she needed him.” Going over the events in my head made me shudder....I wasn’t sure if Justin understood that his closing off, was hurting me..and not helping Brynn at all.
“Do we have any sort of plan at all, because I’m running out of ideas?” Kylie was trying so hard to fix the friendship...to make things better, and I loved the girl more for being here.
“We’ve got to corner him..we’ve got to make him talk. You see if you can handle that..and I’m gonna go find Brynn....if anyone can get her to talk...I should be able to. At least I hope.” I slowly pushed myself up from the chair I occupied, and walked towards the closed hotel room door. “Wish me luck.” I took a deep breath, hearing only the beginning of Kylie’s wishes.
The hallway was dimly lit, and no one was present. A shiver begin to tingle up and down my spine, causing my brain to have second thoughts about talking to her. I forced my feet to continue their journey, for if I let them stop, I wouldn’t make it..and I knew that this adventure would never be completed. I reached the solid door of her room, taking a few deep breaths to steady my beating heart. Tapping lightly on it, I waited for a few seconds before knocking a bit louder. I had a sinking feeling that she was avoiding me, but that soon changed when the door opened, and her dim face shown behind it.
“Hi Brynn.” I tired my best to sound cheerful.
“Hi Sara.....ummm...would you like....well come in.” She didn’t move from her spot, probably hoping that whatever I was doing there, would be quick.
“I’d love to come in.” I gently pushed past her, forcing the door open enough for me to slip in.
She softly closed the door behind me, not making eye contact as she gracefully moved to sit in one of the plush chairs. “Is there something you wanted?” He eyes were still down cast as she talked to me.
“Yes...I want you to talk to me.” I sat down across from her, my own eyes trying so desperately for her to make eye contact.
“Sar.....” She didn’t get any further then my name before she broke down into tears.
“Brynn, I’m your friend, and even though Javan screwed up the trust between all of us..I’m not him...we’ve got to stick together...we can’t let him break everything.” I had so much I wanted to tell her, but this was her time..her time to talk, and I wasn’t about to run my mouth.
She didn’t look at me, didn’t respond..she just sat there.
“Brynn?” I moved from my spot, crawling across the carpet, to place my hand on her knee.
“Sara..I want so badly to talk to you....for you to tell me it will all be okay....but....but....” Her tears took over, the sobs that escaped her mouth were enough to make tears run down my own cheeks. “I’m scared.” Her statement made my heart ache, for Javan had caused all this...how could someone who was so close to us...betray us in such a harsh way. “I know you’re scared...we’re all scared, but you can’t hide away...he’ll win if you do that.”
“He’s already won...he won when he gained our trust...when we accepted him as our friend.” Her tears were now cascading down her face, splashing on her shirt.
“That was so long ago Brynn...you don’t think he had this planned that long ago.” New thoughts begin to run through my already frazzled brain.... ‘did he do this...did he do that?’ I couldn’t take anymore..and I could only imagine what she was going through.
“I’m not sure anymore Sara....I just don’t know.” Her eyes were now closed, and she looked worn out...her eyes had bags under them, she had gotten skinner, for I knew she wasn’t eating right..her knees were bruised, which told me she was taking out her anger and her frustration on the dance floor.
I patted her knee once more, before standing. “You need rest, and me pushing you is not helping. Remember that I’m here if you need me..and please take advantage of that...I want to be your friend Brynn...don’t push me away.” I pulled the door open, leaving her with my final words.
*One Week Later*
It had been a week since my talk with Brynn, but since then nothing had improved..in fact I think it had gotten worse. She avoided me, as did Justin. I was beginning to think all hope was lost, and after much comfort and many words of wisdom from Chris..I had a tad bit of hope left. Things weren’t looking good for Kylie either..for Justin was basically ignoring her. It’s not that he didn’t to be with her...you could see in his face that he wanted to hold her...but something in him wouldn’t allow him any joy or comfort. These two zombies that Javan had created were not the friends that I had grown up with...and I was feeling a sense of loneliness....even Chris couldn’t fill that. Losing one friend had been hard...but the thought of losing the other two was enough to make me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I wasn’t sleeping at night, for I stayed up worrying about my friends. I had lost my appetite, the sight of food making me feel queasy. Chris was worried about me, which wasn’t helping either..for when he worried..he became over protective..so instead of focusing on the tour...all his attention was on me. That made me feel bad, so I tried to put on a happy for his sake..but he saw through my act..so we were back where we started.
I was lying in the bunk on the bus, the warm blanket pulled up over my head, ceasing all light from entering the solitude I had encased myself in. Chris had just come by to check up on me, seeing if I needed anything...but I had politely denied, tugging on the blankets...making sure I was in complete darkness. Light wasn’t allowed to enter, but voices seemed to float through even the thickest of coverings.
“I feel like I’m running in circles...I don’t know who to protect more...Sara or Justin.” Chris’ worried tone made a small tear appear in the corner of my eye.
“I know...this isn’t something that we’ve had to deal with..at least not to this extent. They are all closing themselves off...” JC’s soft tone seeped through as well.
“What are we gonna do?” Now Joey’s husky voice filled the small space I occupied.
“I wish I knew...we’ve just got to make sure that they don’t hurt themselves. I’ve had to watch Sara, to make sure that she eats. I told Lance to do the same with Brynn..and I think Kylie is keeping her eye on Justin....as best as she can.” Chris’ voice became distant, but then grew louder as I assumed he was pacing up and down the narrow hallway.
“Have you noticed that Justin isn’t talking to Kylie....it seems to me like he’s avoiding her.” Joey’s voice brought some comfort to my confused and hurt soul...he sounded so concerned.
“I think we’ve all noticed..I know Sara thought that her being here would help..but I’m not sure if anything is gonna help at this time.” I heard the curtain on my small bunk moved slightly..and I knew that Chris’ dark brown eyes were focused on my still body. “Guys we’ve got to do something...this can’t go on.”
“Chris...I promise you...we’ll do whatever we can...even if that means cornering the boy..and making him talk.” I heard the sound of someone patting another on the back...I assumed it was JC..doing his best to make Chris feel better.
I must have fallen asleep to the quiet rocking of the bus, for I was now wrapped in Chris’ strong arms, my body pressed against his, in a comfort only he could provide. I felt a tad refreshed, sleep had done me a world of good, for I could think a bit clearer now. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness that surrounded us...and as I listened quietly to Chris’ breathing..I heard other sounds. Someone was up, and when I peaked my head out into the hall, I noticed that the light in back room was on. I lifted Chris’ arm carefully, slipping out of the cover, allowing my feet to hit the floor of the bus. I was quiet, for I knew that the other passengers on this bus were indeed still sleeping. I stopped at the door, pressing my ear to it...trying to make out the quiet muffled sounds. They sounded male..so I knew it wasn’t one of the girls...I cautiously turned the brass knob, pulling the door, every so slowly towards me. The room was dimly lit, but enough to tell me who was sitting in the room.... Justin sat there, cell phone in hand, debating quietly to himself. I felt the need to shut the door, and as I made my move to leave, his head turned in my direction. Our eyes connected, and I couldn’t move my feet..for what I saw in those eyes, tore at my heart.
“Sara.” He stopped, his focus back on the phone. “She won’t stop calling me...please make her stop.” “Who is calling you?” I hadn’t moved from my position, afraid of his reaction.
“Ashli....he keeps calling..and calling. I can’t take it anymore...she just won’t leave me alone.” I noticed that his hand trembled slightly, but soon realized that his whole body was shaking.
“Justin.” I took two ginger steps towards him, waiting for what he would do, before taking a few more steps. “Give me your phone.” My outstretched hand neared his grieving body.
He looked at it longer, moving ever so slowly towards me. “Can you make them stop...make the ringing stop.” His eyes shown with desperation, with worry, with fear, with anger, but most of all...they showed betrayal. He was taking everything so hard, piling it all up on his broad shoulders, but under that weight he was slowly collapsing.
“Yes, I’ll make them stop...give me the phone.” His fingers were still clenched around it, so I carefully pried each one away from the electronic device. “You need to go to bed.” I placed my hand underneath his arm, pulling at him slightly, letting him know that I would help him into bed.
He allowed me to lead him to his bunk...I stopped by his bed, pulling the curtain aside, guiding his lanky body down into it. I begin to shut the curtain..but his voice caused me to pause.
“Don’t leave me.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that...so I just stood there. “Sara...please just stay with me..I don’t want to be alone anymore....I need someone.”
I couldn’t say no to that..so after he moved over, leaving enough space for me, I crawled in next to him. His long arms wrapped me up in a hug that was long over due. A small smile begin to creep across my lips, as I felt his arms tighten around me. Maybe things were beginning to turn around...just maybe I would get my friend back.
That blasted sun hit my closed lids, forcing me to squint against it. Arms held my body down, and I grinned, rolling over ready to kiss Chris’ roughened cheeks, but as my eyes slowly opened, I was met with a mat of curls. Events of the night before played again though my foggy mind...Justin had wanted to me stay with him...that smile that had been there the night before was back. Justin stirred, his blue eyes meeting the morning sun, and my bright smile. He blinked a few times, I assumed to become accustomed to the light, but as his eyes narrowed in on me, I knew that things were not yet quite so perfect.
“What are you doing?” His voice was groggy with sleep, but the tone in them made me shiver. “You asked me to stay with you last night.” I was using his own words against him, hoping he would not push me away.
“Well.....I need out..just move.” He was being harsh, and he knew it..but having me in bed next to him....was just too much. He was having a hard time dealing with everything..and as much as he knew he needed me..he just couldn’t allow himself to let me in.
“I’m moving..I’m moving..just give me a second here.” So much for all the thoughts of things working out. He was back where he had been the night before...things weren’t falling into place yet..and I cursed myself for thinking that it could be better.....I just wanted my friends back..but that seemed to be asking too much.
