I looked around at my friends, all sitting in a circle that night in my hotel room. I was SO happy to finally have them back. When I saw Sara in the mirror, running into the studio, I knew I couldn’t watch her walk away again. I’d totally broken down, and when she’d told me all about their plan to get me back, I felt more loved than I had in a long time.
“So……what was that little display of affection with TOBY about back there??” Lizzy said, nudging my arm as I laughed and felt myself turning red.
“I wish I could answer that.” I said, relishing in the delight in being able to talk to my friends again, and the thought of Lance.
“He was more worried about you than we were, if that’s possible. He wants you.” Kylie said as Sara giggled.
“Always has, but Brynn’’s never been ‘easy to get’ should I say.” Sara said as I smacked her knee.
“What are you talking about??” I asked through a laugh as she replied.
“O come on girl. You know you’ve been a pain in the ass for him.” Sara said as I laughed.
““Ya ya I know.” I admitted as Lizzy giggled leaning back against the bed, taking a sip of her Snapple.
Kylie looked around from each of us before reaching to take a Twizzler from the stash in the middle of our circle. “Brynn do you have any ideas what to do about Justin??” She asked randomly as I looked back at her, her worried eyes admitting to me how much she was worried about him.
“Well what you have you guys done so far?” I asked as everyone’s face’s kinda fell.
Faith piped up in a sullen voice. “Brynn we’ve tried everything. Lizzy and JC have been doing their best to get him to talk, to watch a movie, to do anything. Joey and I tried out hardest to get him to come to the club with us when we went, but as much as I dragged you, Joey couldn’t find the heart OR the strength to drag him off the bed. He started to talk to Sara once but then all the sudden turned on her again. And unless he’s talked to you, he won’t even talk to Kylie, and we all know how he really feels about her.” Faith finished as I contemplated the situation, my eyebrows creasing as Kylie appeared more worried.
“The only time he said anything to me was when I was dancing and he came in and started dancing with me, but that was like the day after it happened. It was right when Kylie got there, and it seemed like seeing her was gonna keep him out of what I fell into, but then all the sudden he shut off.” I said as tear rolled down Kylie’s cheek.
She spoke up softly, directing our attention towards her. “Guys this is so hard. I hurt so bad and I know he’s hurting worse, and I can’t do anything about it. I came here to help Sara out with Justin and Brynn, and to be with Justin. I mean I’d never met anyone like him, so I came, knowing there were problems, but hoping I’d be able to heal his broken heart with some kind of love. Now I feel like I’ve lost him without even having him first.” Kylie said as the tears began to flow freely down her face.
I reached over to pull Kylie into a hug, a hug that actually meant something, a hug from me, not just my body. “Kylie I promise we’re gonna get him back. Please don’t give up on him or us, this is when he needs you to be strong the most.” I said as Sara reached over and lightly rubbed her back from comfort, Lizzy and Faith joining in on the hug. This was worth more than just Justin’s dignity, this was worth Justin and Kylie’s hearts.
We were all trying so hard to get Justin back to his normal self. I felt so in debt to the cause, so I tried myself.
“Hey Justin??” I asked as he walked by my room where I was grabbing my purse to go to sound check with the guys.
Justin glanced into my room before looking straight ahead again. “What?” He asked as my eyebrows creased in concern. I knew that voice more than anything else I knew.
“Have you seen Kylie??” I asked, trying to turn this so-called ‘conversation’ toward her.
“Why would I have seen Kylie? I’ve been in my room all morning.” He said bitterly as I licked my lips.
“Well you know, since she came here to be there for you I kinda thought maybe you would have been a little appreciative or something.” I said sarcastically as he looked at me, his eyes scanning my own before he just bit his lip and kept walking.
I’d tried being nice, I’d tried being sweet. I’d even tried being a bitch. Nothing was reaching him and I didn’t know what to do about it. But Sara had a great idea in mind, and all I could do was pray that it would work.
“Hey Brynn, can I talk to ya for a second??” I heard Lance’s voice as I stepped out of the room and watched Justin continue walking down the hallway. I turned around, his voice automating a smile on my face.
“Sure ya can.” I smile lighting up his face.
“God it’s nice to have you back. You haven’t been that peppy in response in a long ass time.” Lance said in his deep voice as I chuckled.
“Nicer to be back, I’ll tell ya.” I said as he stopped walking in front of me and looked down the hall. “Lance I wanted to thank you for being there for me. Throughout this whole ordeal, you’re the only one I even kinda semi-let-in, but that’s what kept me semi-afloat at the same time.” I said softly as I looked up into his soft green eyes, which were now scanning my face for any sign of what he was feeling.
“Brynn, I, um, there’s, well, um..” Lance stuttered as I looked at him sideways before a smile spread across my lips and I felt myself unconsciously raising my finger to his lips to shush him. His eyes never left mine as my fingers ran lightly over his cheek to the hairs bordering the nape of his neck. I didn’t realize his hand trailing across my waist until I felt myself pulled closer to him, my eyes closing lightly as his lips softly embraced mine before he pulled back, opening his eyes, as if to ask permission.
I bit my lip lightly as I smiled and closed my eyes once again as his lips overtook mine, his entire being seemed to warm me inside. It wasn’t something I’d felt recently, or ever before come to think of it. As I pulled back, an inevitable smile lit my face as I let him go.
“So, uh, thank you.” I finished as I turned back to walk into my room as Lance watched me with a half smile before heading down the hallway and into the elevator that Justin had stepped into.
“Holy cow.” I said to myself as I collapsed back onto the bed, Sara walking into the room laughing.
“Maybe I should try that trance thing, Chris hasn’t kissed me like that in at least a week.” Sara joked as I laughed and sat up.
“I suddenly have a LOT of energy.” I uttered as Sara smiled, shaking her head and grabbing my hand to pull me off the bed.
“Put that energy toward rescuing the damsel and DAM in distress.”
As I walked by the toy room backstage toward the end of the concert, I heard the slight sound of a light sob, one I hadn’t heard before, therefore I knew exactly who it was.
“Kylie??” I asked, stepping into the room and finding her sitting on the couch holding a note Justin had written her when we had left on the bus. Kylie looked up at me, her eyes teary.
“Brynn there’s nothing I can do. He’s struggling so hard. Just watch him out there, his voice cracks all the time, he doesn’t even dance the same for god sakes. I feel so lost without his help, and when I’m supposed to be helping, no matter what I do, I DON’T. What kind of friend am I being here??” She sobbed as I pulled her into another hug.
“Kylie you know how well I know Justin. And I’m not gonna lie. I was in this exact state he is, what, even yesterday. It’s rough. You feel like you can’t talk to anyone. I mean, look, I’ve known Justin and Sara my entire life and I wouldn’t even talk to them. Justin and I are a lot alike, and we can both be stubborn as hell. If one of us did something, it always seemed like eventually the other one would learn to do it too. I can’t promise you anything, but we’re gonna everything we can to get our Justin back.” I tried to console her as much as I could.
I hadn’t noticed Justin standing in the doorway watching us. I hadn’t even heard the last words of ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’, but as I turned around to get up, I still saw the glimmer of a tear in Justin’s now sullen blue eyes. I knew he wanted her, I knew he wanted to come back. I had wanted to all along, but I also knew exactly how hard it was. It was his decision, but he wasn’t making his own struggle any easier, but the boy was struggling like no else. His eyes always showed his emotion, and this time they showed exactly what betrayal could do.
We all wanted our Justin back.
