"On the night of the awards, I carried the Oscar around waist-high. I never had so many women ask me 'Can I touch it?' in my life. Sadly, they were talking about the statuette."

" "Beautiful women scare me."

"I have this whole reluctant sex-symbol thing. You see these dudes greased up with baby oil, in their underwear, talking about how they don't want to be a sex symbol."

" There is nothing worse that a thirteen-year-old boy. You're embarrassed by your parents, and you're trying to find your independance because, deep inside, you are so dependent on your mom."

"Yes, I'm going to be the President of the United States. You know why? You think you can get chicks by being in the movies? You can really get chicks by being in President."

" I don't think of it as 'I'm a bike guy'. I can't stand those guys who talk to you and all they say is, 'Gonna put my leathers on and hit the canyons.' I'm not Adrenaline-Junkie Guy."

"At a certain point, some things in your life shouldn't be used to sell movies. Hey, I have two sphincters! See my Movie!"

"The Boston accent is more of an attitude than an accent. Underneath everything you say has to be the attitude of: You're an a**hole, I know better than you, f*** you."

"The reason I'm single is because I wouldn't want to be with anybody right now who would be willing to be with me."

"I remember back when I was a kid there was a comic strip called Plastic Man. His body was elastic and he could make his extremeties as long as he wanted. As a youngster I didn't fully appreciate. But I'm now thinking Plastic Man was probably pretty popular with the ladies"