And even more great gag's and laughter and a nice poem
( If you experience problems with the music - please press refresh button )
* IRISH BLESSING *
( For all our friends in the World)
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May the best be with you all, wherever you may be in the world during the
'YEAR 2003'
* This is Working Men - for ya ! *
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* LITTLE JOHNNY *
Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher,
indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty
with the differences between boys and girls,"
and would his mother, "please sit down and
have a talk with Johnny about this."
Johnny's mother quietly took him by the hand,
upstairs to her bedroom,
and closed the door.
She said, "First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse..."
Little Johnny unbuttoned her blouse and took it off.
She continued, "Now take off my skirt..."
He removed her skirt. "Take off my bra..." which he did.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties."
When Johnny had finished removing his mother's panties, she said,
"Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes in school any more!"
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'HOLLY SMOSES' !
He, he, he - 'Walking on water is one thing' - But this !!
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What is a kid's definition of a 3 course meal ?
A Burger, fries and a fizzy drink ... lol
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What do you call a 'Telly Tubbie' ...
that's been burgled ? - 'A Tubby ' !
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What do you call a cowardly 'Aardvark' ?
'A _ _ _Vark' !
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'Is your computer getting you down'?
'Hey kid's - So does mine' .. lol
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Why do 'Aliens' grow so big ?.... Cos they have..
'SO MUCH SPACE' !
Where do Astronauts park their 'Space Ships' ?..
At 'PARKING METEORS' !
Did you hear about the alien who invented space travel ?....
His idea took off like, 'A ROCKET' !
What do you find in space that sign's autographs ?
'THE STARS' !
Where do astronauts dogs get their exercise ?
'On a SPACE WALK' !
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'What a bad dog, he is' ?..
He, he .. haw, haw ... Joke's on my owner !
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What has four fingers, a thumb, and rides tractors ? - 'A FARM HAND' !
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Why do calf's only have three legs - 'COS THE COW HAS THE UDDER' !
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What do you call a cow in the artic ? - 'AN ESKIMOO' !
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What does a cow have that is brown and sounds like a bell ? - 'DUNG' !
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Why are pigs good at kung - fu ? - 'COS OF THEIR PORK CHOPS' !
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Why do cows wear bells ? - 'COS THEIR HORNS DON'T WORK' !
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What do you get if you lie down under a cow ? - 'A PAT ON THE HEAD' !
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* Old McDonald had a farm! *
McDonalds, beat this then !
...' Fresh British Bacon Burgers' ...
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What is worse than a crocodile with toothache?
'A centipede with athlete's foot'!
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Teacher; What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm?
Cheeky girl; Apollo neck jumpers?
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How can you tell if a snake is a baby one? - 'Cos it has a rattle'?
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DEFINITION ?
What is the definition of a baby?
'A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end ..
.. and has no sense of responsibility at the other'?
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HONESTY ON THE INTERNET?
The truth? .. 'Ok, I am slim, long blonde hair
blue eye's, nice figure and a famous model?'
Great?.. 'And I am 6 ft tall, body builder,
very tanned playboy type, and own a yacht?
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Hey, What goes up and down but never moves? - Stairs !
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Why do birds fly backwards across the desert? - To keep sand from their eyes !
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Customer; "Waiter, this egg is bad?" - Waiter; "I only laid the table, sir !"
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What goes round and round and changes colour from
black and white to grey? - 'A penguin in a cement mixer !'
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CHICKEN SHACK ?
'Latest 5* star chicken shack !'
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JUVENILE CRIME !
Boy to teacher; "Computers kept me from turning into a juvenile delinquent.
Instead of getting into fights and drinking under age,
I used to try to hack into Pentagon in the USA
and start World War Three with my Commodore 64."
(Only kidding, CIA) !!!
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TEACHERS - THOUGHT'S ?
"Two teachers were chatting in the school staff room,..
'What was your day like?' one asked.
...'Dreadful' replied the other teacher
... 'the computer broke down this morning
and we had to think for ourselves all day."
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Computer salesman; This computer will cut your workload by 50%,
School teacher; That's great - I'll take two of them !
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Hey Kid's...
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Copyright 2002 www.laughwithluke.co.uk
(A safe kid's site)
