The Updated Canterbury Tales

a classic revisited by English 120 at Wheeler High School

The Ex-Ex-Con

"On this bus there was a nasty criminal
Donning jailhouse stripes and looking minimal"

The Actress

"She claimed to be an actress but we knew
To say 'aspiring' would have been more true"

The Rapper

"The Rapper has his ostentatious ways
With his shiny ice and new album craze"

The Farmer

"He bore a bulbous red scar on his neck
From his playin' days at Georgia Tech"

The Communist Postal Worker

"Set in his mind, set in communist ways,
The need for revenge put him in a haze"

The Teacher

"No smile on her face, no bright eyes shone
No fat on her, but only skin and bone."

The Taxidermist

"He wanted to show everyone how
To stuff a moose, guagga, or even a cow"

The Scientist

"Masked by large glasses and a coat of white
This research scientist was truly a sight"

The Lawyer

"His short and dark hair was slicked back with gel;
Strong scented cologne gave off rich smell"

The Sports Agent

"His wallet seemed large and for good reason,
Since the NFL was in mid season."

The Taxi Driver

"With eyes that bore through every human soul
And yet they squint like that of a young mole"

The School Bus Driver

"Flying down the road you'd better watch out;
Don't talk to him because he'll want to shout"

The Car Salesman

"He sold his used cars way too overpriced
And never even thought about it twice"

The Politician

"He was a virgin to the corrupt ways;
He worked to help people both night and day"

The Computer Programmer

"His eyes never blink but often do twitch,
While he looks past each program coding glitch"

The Librarian

"A shrill, nasal voice came out of his throat
With a short cut beard he looked like a goat"

The Hobo

"Though he means well, he can't be accepted
He's strange and so he's always rejected"

The Director

"He was a true artist, it seemed to me;
He knew just what people wanted to see."

The Bored Teenager

"Masked by large glasses and a coat of white
This research scientist was truly a sight."

The Historian

"He told us of the Romans and Vikings
Though he changed the stories to his likings"