Date: Sat, July 26, 2003
Subject: Please Read This

Please read all of this email. I am not sure how to start. Last night was one of the most confusing, emotional, and overwhelming nights of my life, and now I am about to rehash it all, bear with me. After this email you may feel displaced, I do. Or maybe you won’t, we see a broken world on TV everyday so maybe it won’t be such a big deal. It has been a big deal to me because the brokenness on TV has become a reality to me. I am not sure where to go from here, what to do after I have experienced all that I am about to explain to you. I can’t figure out my place in this world or what to do with the realities I am being faced with here in South Africa. I can’t take this burden alone and we should all take the time to open our eyes once in a while. Through my experience, let me help you to see the world as it is.

I never thought I would find myself in Cape Town, South Africa praying with a prostitute as she held in one hand a condom, with red aids ribbons on the wrapper, and a bible verse we had given her in the other. I had read and heard often that Jesus hung out with the prostitutes and I know we are called to love them but last night I realized how much more we can do then love them from afar, we can actually love them out of the stronghold that the world has on their lives. Understandably, they see their lives as hopeless.

Last night our group met with a ministry called “Straatwerk” (I believe this means Street Works in English), an outreach ministry to people in need in Cape Town. We met at their dorm building at about 9:30pm, got an introduction, and then headed over to one of their development homes to worship and pray before we went out to talk to the street children, drug dealers, prostitutes, and club hoppers. It was an amazing time of worship with people from all different countries and of all different ages. There were about 25 of us in all. Our sound was beautiful as we all came together to praise the same God when we were all so very different. I appreciated the really old man next to me because he sang off key so boldly, I didn’t sound so bad. It was great. Then we divided into groups of three and went to different parts of the city. My first group I went out with was assigned to the club scene. The most significant part of the evening was talking to a bouncer about the love of Christ. He spoke to us for quite a while and we invited him to come to the coffee house, that Straatwerks runs until 3:00am, to talk to us more. We gave him a sweet with a little message about Christ’s love and a map to the coffee house; it is really a great way of reaching people. One thing that was really hard was to see the street children holding their paper bags with hard glue type substance in them and sniffing it to keep warm and ease the hunger pains. I was surprised to see how friendly all the people we approached were, they are all looking for something more hopeful then what they are faced with everyday. One guy even followed us so he could talk to us; so many people just want to hear that someone loves them. It was humbling to talk to him, he looked mean on the outside and I had to muster up a lot of courage to approach him but he just kind of melted when he heard what we had to say. It is amazing that even the hardest people all have the same need, no matter what circumstances they are coming from or how messed up they are, everyone just wants love and acceptance, we all want to feel significant and worth something. We need to constantly be reminded that God created us, he loves us, and he offers each of us hope, no matter how messed up we are. Aren’t we all! Thank goodness he accepts us where we are at, his grace is sufficient for even the worst of us, which is something I have to remind myself as it is easy to be bitter at those who I approach out here who are so corrupt, but God’s grace is even sufficient for them.

During our break I got into a conversation with Trevor, he’s 49 years old. Trevor was a drug addict, a drug dealer, and a “gangster” for 25 years. It was amazing looking at him, a sharp featured, dark skinned, broad shouldered big guy and thinking, “wow, he used to be in the devil’s business and now he is working for the lord.” He had to ask me to stop saying “wow.” He said that the Holy Spirit got a hold of him one night; he thinks it finally happened because his grandparents had been praying for him for many years, and he dropped to the floor and cried for about 3 hours. He repented to the lord and from that point forward left his old ways behind and sought out friendships with other Christians. He explained what he was messed up with. He said that he was known all around town because he dealt to so many people and some people thought he was arrogant (which he admits he was) and they would shoot at his house often. He said that when someone next to him overdosed he wouldn’t think twice about it, he’d just check them for drugs and money and call the “meat wagon” to take them away. The drug he was most addicted to was one called Velcomel which was a drug given to cancer patients and it was more harmful, when taken the way he took it, then heroine. It shuts down the repertory system. He said, “God has delivered me from a lot of bondage.” It was neat to hear him talk about the imagination of God, and how limited our imagination is in comparison. He gave the many types of insects as an example and said it boggles his imagination and he gets so excited to get to heaven sometimes he “shuts down.” He said the gangs are much worse here in S. Africa then the states, which is hard for me to believe. He said children get shot in cross fire very often and now it is an everyday occurrence for children to just hit the dirt when they hear trouble. Our conversation ended abruptly when he then started to explain how cold are world is and how rape has become such an issue in Cape Town, as well as the rest of the world. In fact, South Africa has possibly the highest rate of rape in the world. Many children are raped including babies. There have even been instances where babies have been gang raped by a number of men at one time. It is absolutely sick. It is hard to even comprehend. There is a common belief here by the black population that if you have sex with a virgin your aids will leave your body and you will be cured. A belief straight out of hell. Now that I am on to morbid subjects I might as well get some things out of the way. The Cape Flats that is where the township we are working in is, it’s the murder capital of the world and has the highest crime rate in the world. Anyway, Trevor started to talk about 12, 13, and 14 year olds getting raped over and over by 6 rebel soldiers in Liberia and he started to cry and walked away from our conversation. It was…I don't know…something we hear about but never take the time to reflect on, it just is too difficult to understand and process, it makes me feel so ignorant and self centered when we focus our lives on such petty things. I really have nothing eloquent to say, we just can’t ignore what is happening around us. The devil takes control of our world one person at a time, I know to some of you all this devil and God talk seems cliché, I struggle writing it sometimes too, because it seems to not be taken seriously by so many. But just take a look around you, listen to these stories I am sharing of real people, we cannot deny that there is something evil fighting over the righteous in this world. The only real hope we have is that we have the freedom to chose to be a part of the righteous that conquers the evil or we can choose to contribute to what is evil by either ignoring it (which is in a sense denying) or we can actually partake in it, and to tell you the truth I really don’t see much of a difference (ignoring evil is partaking in it in my opinion).

Trevor explained that he liked being a part of the Straatwerk ministry because it displays the real definition of love, “love is an active word, and not just something you say.” This is something that I gained a deeper understanding of when I went out with my second group to talk to the prostitutes from about 12:30am to 2:15am. This was something I was not prepared for. I of course knew prostitutes were real and that it really happened but I never had a real face and name to put with my image of prostitution. And to tell you the truth I have never felt tons of compassion because being in places like Las Vegas just made me think of prostitutes as people who were feeding the flesh allowing men to look at women as sex objects and contributors to the awful way our society has started to view sex. I always thought of prostitutes as mean, smoking, swearing, icky people who had no respect for them selves and just wanted to make a lot of money. Last night I gained a whole new perspective. One that tore me up, left me in tears, with a feeling of heaviness that I thought I was not going to be able to take. After speaking to the first few I kept thinking, “please not another one, I can’t handle it, this is just too much.” Let me tell you about Colleen, Suzan, Mavis, and Lisa.

Colleen looked cold as she stood on the curb in front of a cement building with just short type bathing suit bottoms, a black coat, black beaded high pointy boots, and her hair pulled down to cover her black eye. As Jody (a worker) and I approached her, she gave us both hugs, the ministry has established a relationship with her and Jody looked at the healing of her black eyes she had received from a fight with another lady and her ear which was all torn up. Colleen was colored, fare skin with short straight hair, about mid neck length and had two long pieces coming out in front. She looked innocent and beautiful when you didn’t look at her shivering body. She spoke to us but rarely made eye contact, as she didn’t want to miss anyone if they wanted her. She held a condom in a black wrapper with red aids ribbons on it in her hand and kept playing with it and the key in her hand, which was to the door behind her. We handed her a verse on a yellow card and read it to her, to my surprise it was the verse that I chose as my life verse (the verse I base my life around and look to for guidance), it was the verse Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, but acknowledge him in all you do, and he will set your paths straight.” The building behind Colleen was cement with three windows and all of the women who lived there were prostitutes and brought their clients up to their “private” rooms. The pimps live there too and they collect the money and either give the girl a cut, if that, sometimes they get paid with rent, food, and drugs or alcohol. Some of the ladies keep their children with them in their flat. The children are exposed to all the men that come to the room and the activity that takes place, a horrible vision for a child to think of as “normal.” Some women bring their children to relatives or friends houses so that they are able to find them again if they ever get their life back. Most of them try to keep the children away from the government agencies because it is their hope that someday they will be able to provide for their children. The window in the middle of the cement building is to the room of Leroy and his mother, Paula. Leroy, eight years old, five weeks ago prayed that Jesus would come into his heart. He told his mom he doesn’t like living the way they do and though she is not saved she wants to help him to live right so she attended church with him. Everyone can be praying for the two of them. It is hard because Straatwerks does not have the facilities to house all those who leave prostitution and they try not to hand out food, housing, etc. because it will create dependence. They as a ministry have to step out in faith too and know that as needs come up for those who make a commitment to Christ and want to lead a different life style that Christ will provide ways for them to support peoples needs. All of the women we spoke to want to be out of prostitution, they know it is not right but they don’t know what else to do because the unemployment rate is so high and they need to eat. Those at the ministry do provide housing often and give them a loan to start but it can’t work well in the house unless the ladies are committed to leading a healthy lifestyle and living according to God's principles. So we had to say often to them that they couldn’t wait for an alternative job or housing to accept the Lord, instead they have to accept the Lord in faith and know that he will provide for their needs as they follow them.

Really quick, I want to explain how women get into the lifestyle of prostitution. Usually they come to Cape Town in search of a job because it is a big city and they want to make money for them to live and to send to their families in the townships. When they get off the train they are lost, not knowing anyone or what to do next. Well, the pimps are their at the station to approach the lonely little girls they spot and they promise to give them a job where they can live with other women and they will get all their needs met. The women fall into a very deliberate trap. Even if they get out of the station without being snagged they will eventually be hooked by a pimp who has more to offer them then the street which is the only thing they (oh, goodness a street child just came up to the window and looked in and waved) find, there are no jobs available to make an honest living.

Susan is white and looks a lot like my mom actually. I told her this when I went to give her a hug. She is beautiful and petite and started to cry when she told Maggie that her daughter, Tiffany who is 15 and hasn’t gone to school for a long time, is pregnant. Tiffany is not a prostitute but brings guys up to sleep with her often; she has learned this as a lifestyle. She is too scared to go to the doctor so they don’t know when the baby is due. Susan expressed that she was glad Tiffany’s father came to stay with them for moral support. I learned later that this was a twisted story; in fact he sleeps next door with another lady and just uses up all Susan’s money and drugs. Susan was excited to tell Maggie that she had been off of her heroin for eight hours, which is a really big accomplishment. Both Colleen and Susan were open to prayer and we were able to pray with both of them with our arms around them all huddled up. Susan said that she wants to get out, but she feels that she can’t. She always thinks she will, but then she doesn’t, she doesn⁏t know where to go, or how to get out.

We approached Mavis, a beautiful colored girl, as she was talking to three men in a truck. Mavis was very open to prayer too; she was also very sweet and warm to us. She kept saying that she was going to call to go to church this weekend. She was supposed to go last week but when they came to pick her up she decided not to go because she had been drinking a lot the night before and some friends were still with her.

Lisa was the last girls we spoke with. She was black with long braids and very nice skin, which is important in the black culture; guys do not go for girls with flaws in their skin. She was very eager to talk to us. She said that some of the other prostitutes said the church people bored them, but she said she wanted to talk. So we sat on the curb with her and she told us her life story. Her accent was very strong so I didn’t understand everything but she explained to us that she had just drank a lot of wine because then she can stand out here and not get scared about who was going to pick her up and where she would end up. She said that she would rather drink her money then give it to the ladies that say that it goes for rent cause she doesn’t think it really does. She told us that she was raped in May. She also said that one time she was given money by her uncle, I think, and she decided to use it on nice things for herself like makeup and toiletries and the other ladies got jealous and they threatened to scar up her face. She said that she got kicked a lot and that she sat at the foot of a man that protected her and her face did not get scared up. I am not sure whom the man was she was speaking of, we didn’t know if she was referring to Jesus or a physical person but she did not take a breath to let us ask questions. Lisa was very bright and articulate. She said that she does not like what she does because she feels that people do not accept her. She used to live in “the fields” but she did not want to continue being a “stroller” which I think is a term for a homeless person so she turned to prostitution. I think in the fields is where she was raped but I am not sure if this is what lead her to choose prostitution for sure, it seems like this may be the case. She said that she does not think she will ever find happiness in this job because she will never be loved or feel beautiful. They say that out of the studies they have done on Vietnam vets and ex prostitutes, post traumatic stress syndrome is worst in prostitutes because they have become one with so many people that they never feel whole again.

These are the names, faces, and stories that were running through my head as we drove up to overlook the city lights and we prayed together. Janelle sang a beautiful song in the background with her guitar. I felt so safe and secure with my brothers and sisters in Christ hugging me and loving me and at the same time felt guilty knowing that down in those lights someone was picking up Lisa, Colleen, Mavis, and Susan and not showing them love but torment.

The same stories were running through my head when I got under my nice warm white covers and I thought about the blessing I have in the knowledge that I am whole. That no one else has taken any pieces of me to waste on their own pleasure and desire that would only leave me feeling used, empty, incomplete, and ugly. I am grateful for the men that have been a part of my life, that have not been selfish and have respected me enough to bless me with the opportunity to stay pure for my husband. I am grateful that I still have this gift to present to the men in my life, my heavenly father and my future spouse. I pray that Colleen, Susan, Lisa, and Mavis will be able to find this wholeness once again as they slowly surrender their lives to Christ, who is the only man in their lives that can truly make them pure and blameless.

Goodnight. Thank you for taking the time to share this burden with me. I love you all very much.

With Love in Christ,
Jaime