DEAD OR NOT

BREATHING.

THIS X PARATROOPER IS WANTED FOR LEAVING GREAT BRITAIN AFTER STEALING A LARGE SHIPMENT OF TOOTHPASTE, 2 HAIR BANDS AND A CAN OF GUINNESS. 

HE IS CONSIDERED DANGEROUS AND POLICE ADVISE THE GENERAL PUBLIC NOT TO APPROACH  HIM.

A SPOKESMAN FOR THE SPECIAL FORCES UNIT SAID "HIS BREATH      HAS BEEN KNOWN TO KILL A LARGE PACHYDERM OVER 30 METERS AWAY.

HE IS TRAINED IN MOUTH TO MOUTH COMBAT AND HAS BEEN KNOWN TO FRENCH KISS INNOCENT WOMEN WITHOUT WARNING.".

THIS MAN HAS RECENTLY BEEN  USING THE ICQ TO LURE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WITH POETRY. HE MAY CONTACT YOU BY PHONE.

LIKE A GREEK SIREN HIS DEEP SPOKEN AND SINGING VOICE IS HYPNOTIC, ALTHOUGH MAY LEAVE YOU SLIGHTLY NAUSEOUS.

IF YOU SEE THIS MAN PARACHUTING DOWN IN TOWN NEAR YOU PLEASE CONTACT YOU LOCAL RAPID RESPONSE UNIT.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED..!