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October 31, 2000 I think that I went though every emotion in the world possible tonight. And right now, I am just exhausted from it all. I started out in the morning by getting an A on the math exam that I took last Friday. I was more than elated when I saw the grade that I got because I have been busting my ass in this class. Math has always been my strongest subject, but this class is really making me prove it to myself that I am indeed good at math. I had some lunch with Dom, and then I got ready for my honors class. In the process, I got an email from Cassandra basically telling me what was up with her. At that moment, my excitement from my math exam diminished into nothing more than utter disenchantment and frustration. I talked to Bev about my situation with Cassandra, and I don't know what was said, but I have a feeling that I was outright misquoted. But I guess that there's nothing that I can do about it because Cassandra has made it clear that she doesn't care about my opinion these days. When I got to my honors class, I was really happy to see that my kids had such a great weekend. After going through some announcements, we walked to one of the open fields so that we could play capture the flag. I was really irritated for basically no reason at all when my kids and my co-leader went to get some candy. I want nothing more than for my kids to have a good time in class, and I think that I overcompensate when things aren't going as I had wished. Nonetheless, I know they love the class, and they do have a good time…but I try to hard to make it the best time ever… When class ended, I called Dom to see if she wanted to go to campus town to go get a pair of my shoes fixed. She started talking about he schedule and how she had to change it now that she is in honors. I felt absolute jealousy and almost hatred and disappointment at the same time because I know my current honors situation: non-existent. We went back to my room, and I basically just waited for her to leave because I need some serious alone time. When she came back, she asked why I seemed so aggravated. I just denied the fact. I tried to calm myself down, and we proceeded to go to dinner. We ran into a couple of friends, and I was fine at dinner. We were laughing and having a really good time. After dinner, Dom and I decided to go to the mall. We ran into a couple of other friends, and we all joked around and just shot the breeze. When Dom and I got back to the dorms, we chilled in her room, and we were having a blast until she said she had to leave to go to some friends apartment to watch a movie. I knew that they were watching a movie later in the evening, but they changed plans for earlier. I felt a bit used and backstabbed. She always got mad when I was hanging out with her, and said that I had to go see another friend. In fact, she got mad any time I was with another person…but I guess that's besides the point. When she left, I just went outside to have a smoke. Which, bring us to about now. I don't know what to do with myself. All I can think of doing is laying in bed, but that will just lead to me thinking about the day's events and that will just further perturb me and my situation. Who knows what I'm going to do right now…. 
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