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January 30, 2001 I am really struggling with my schooling right now. Well, I guess that's not totally true. I love all of my classes except for Computer Science…these damn programs are really killing me. Every Monday, I have a program that is due at midnight. Last night, the program that was supposed to be due got extended to tonight. I usually get help with my programs because I have gained this "learned helplessness" with doing these programs. Last night, when I was still working on the program before I knew it was due, one of my former students was helping me out a bit. So tonight, I still had so much to do. Granted I eventually finished it…just the whole process of me trying to write the program, getting frustrated and stressed, and getting help to finish the damn assignment is so degrading to me. I really do feel helpless, and it's not a very good feeling. Earlier in the day, I had some treasurer stuff to do for APO. I need to get some important vouchers out to our National Office…and it just absolutely kills me that the advisor that I have to get the vouchers signed by is never in his office. I seriously talk to his secretary more often than I even see this guy. Luckily today, he was in his office, however, he was in a meeting, and I still had to wait for him. After my frustrations with Murray subsided, I went on to deal with having to run from building to building so that I could not only turn in the recently signed vouchers, but make several deposits to our organizational account. Being treasurer used to be such a prestigious role for me, this semester it has become nothing more than just a big fat thorn in my ass… 
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