loving others where they are [04.26.05]

one of the lessons i learned while in college was to love others where they are, even if you don't agree with the things they do and the activities they take part in. the story goes a little something like this.

i met a girl my last year in college. for the story's sake, lets name her andrea. andrea and i had a mutual friend and met the first month or so of the semester. since both of us were on the social end of things, we talked and soon begun to see each other thru our mutual friend in various activities we were involved in and places where we hung out. there was an attraction from both sides, but it soon turned into a friendship we both knew wouldn't go any further.

before we knew it, we felt as if we'd known each other for years. because of that feeling, we starting sharing things with each other as if we actually had know each other for much longer than we had. this included some of our past, including ex's, stupid acts we'd participated in, and our old patterns of life. some were hysterical, while others were a serious ring to them. then, before we realized it, came the secrets that few ears ever heard. this included recent problems we'd encountered as well as family concerns that weren't public knowledge.

i am an open-minded person who has an opinion on everything. thus, when people ask what i think about something, i usually tell them exactly what i think and why i think that way, even if it comes across a little blunt. andrea soon began asking questions about personall issues she was dealing with. i was there for her and i told her what i thought, but i had the attitude that my way was the right way and that is how it should be done. andrea knew i was a christian and trusted my opinions as biblically accurate. but instead of having the attitude of wanting to do things for God, she wanted to do things to fit my expectations. i realized this about the end of the first semester and knew i had made a serious error and mentally decided to change my thinking. God acknowledged this and begun to mold me to fit that way of thinking. i didn't tell andrea my decision and she never mentioned it.

what i saw from that point on was incredible. i stopped trying to make decisions for everyone else and let them make their own. talk about having a weight lifted off your chest! i was happy in a way that i haven't been in a long time. andrea and i had a talk about things the first part of april and that was brought up. she said that she noticed almost exaclty when it happened. at first, she was concerned, but soon realized i was offering my opinion only as advice, not as truth. she then felt that she could tell me things that were going on and mistakes she had made and been making without concern that i would look down on her as a christian.

from that lesson, i have been able to love people where they are even if they do things that i don't agree with. as a christian, it makes me accessable from christians and non-christians becase the "holier than thou" attitude isn't there. doors have been opened for me both to witness to others as well as strengthen those friendships that i already had.