August 2000
"I believe she's waking up."
Suddenly from the shadows of darkness, the young woman who lay under the starchy white sheets began to open her eyes and greet the world around her. First, she started by blinking several times. The lights were unbearably bright to her. She couldn't see straight but could hear sounds of people all around her.
Her mind was trying to process what exactly was going on but she found that nothing was coming to her.
She could only feel her legs – they felt like concrete. They were heavy and ached. She was able to reach her arm down and rub a sore spot on her left leg before something, or someone grabbed her hand away.
"Dear, you need to lie still. Don't try doing anything right now. It will all come back to you soon enough."
The young woman again tried to focus in on the voice but could only make out the blur to her left. She squinted her eyes to focus better when suddenly, the lights went down.
"Whoever turned the lights off, thank you." She said but her voice was barely above a whisper and raspy at that. She coughed several times to catch her breath.
What was happening to her? First, she couldn't see in the light. Second, her voice was hard and her body ached like she hadn't moved it in months. She needed answers and needed them now.
"Where am I?" She was able to ask.
The person whom held her hand a moment ago answered her question. "You are in the hospital." She said, not in a caring concerned way but merely stating the fact.
The young woman began to panic. She felt the air in her lungs being sucked out and she couldn't breathe back in enough to keep her alive. "What? What am…am I doing…in the…the hospital?" She said slowly, trying to hold as much oxygen inside her body for she couldn't pull any more in.
A nurse came over to her and said a few calming words to help her relax. "Dear, I will tell you everything you need to know if you take a deep breath for me, okay? I need you to relax so you can hear me." She said as she began to rub her fingers over the scared woman's hand.
She tried a few times to get enough air in her lungs but it was no use. The nurse saw her struggle and immediately put an oxygen tube in her nose to force air in her body. When she had started to stir only moments earlier, the nurse had taken it out. She hoped that the others in the room hadn't noticed her blunder.
She knew she was to keep it in the patient until they knew for sure if she was able to breathe without it. It was just that the nurse had come into this room every day for months, hoping that each one she would make some progress but not until today had she even flinched.
The nurse motioned the others to go let the doctor know that she was awake. While they were gone, she sat down beside the young woman and placed her hand on her wrist. "Just relax and let me take your pulse, okay?"
She nodded her head slowly. Every movement made her stomach turn and she thought at first that she was going to throw up. She still didn't have an answer to why she was in the hospital in the first place. "Please…tell me why…" She began but started coughing once again.
The nurse held up her hand to her. "Dear, you need to keep still and relax if you can. The doctor will be here in a few minutes and he will let you know what's going on." She started but could see the pain on the young woman's face. She debated whether or not to say anything but having a daughter of her own that was about her age, she knew that if the same thing happened to her, she would want to know immediately.
She took a deep breath and hoped to find the right words to tell her what happened. "Now please remain as calm as you can. You need to wait for the doctor but by the look on your face, sooner is more important than later so without going into too much detail, you were in a car wreck…two and a half months ago."
The young woman's eyes widened with that knowledge. If she was in a wreck, first off, she didn't remember being in any wreck and second, why was she still in the hospital then. "I…I don't understand…why I'm…I'm still here." She tried saying but like the first time, she found the air unable to reach her lungs.
The nurse stood and adjusted her oxygen tube to let the air flow easier. Just then, the door opened and in walked what looked to be an elderly gentleman and two other ladies. He didn't turn the light back on but merely glanced at the chart in his hands under the faint light from the windows before speaking to the young woman.
"Well, I see my patient is finally awake." He said as he approached her bedside. He took several instruments out and began his examine while he spoke to her. "I'm sure you are probably wondering what is going on here, right?" He asked as he raised his head back up to face her after he listened to her heart.
She could only nod. Her lungs felt heavy and she was afraid to say anything else.
He nodded in agreement then sat down on the stool beside her to explain things. "You gave us quite a scare that's for sure. Now, I hope that I don't scare you further but I need to be blunt on a few things. You were in a serious car accident two and a half months ago and have been in a coma ever since…"
His words pierced her like a knife. She wanted to scream at that moment. For over two months, her lifeless body had laid there in that hospital bed unable to move or speak. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.
He saw the rush of emotions come to her face and quickly tried to talk to reassure her that things were fine. "You were in a coma yes but think of it this way: that gave your body time to heal itself. When you were brought in here, you had two cracked ribs and your left leg was broken…"
That's why my leg still aches. She thought to herself.
"You were banged up fairly bad so the time you were asleep allowed your body to heal and we even took your leg out of its cast several days ago. Other than a few minor setbacks, I would say that you are looking good and the prognosis is excellent."
He finished and looked at her to see if she had any questions. She glanced around the room to see the other people standing around Figuring that they were nurses, she didn't ask their names. She did though ask why she couldn't see well enough for the lights to be on, why her leg still ached, how long she would have to stay there and could she get a drink of water.
The doctor answered all her questions the best way he could for her to understand. He asked if she could think of anything else as she sipped on the wet liquid and she let her mind wander.
She let the process of thinking flow throughout her mind but she couldn't think of anything…anything at all. Her storage files of her life were empty.
Her eyes widened again for the millionth time in the last few minutes when realization of what was going on finally hit. She looked to the doctor and whispered her question.
"Who am I?"