Alrght, welcome to my Opus. This is the page that contains the first
chapter, and since I figured this would be hideously long, each chapter
would get it's own page, and each section within the chapter would get its
own link at the top of the page. So, if you have to leave for some reason,
and come back, and don't want to scroll all the way down, then just click
the link, and blink! You're there!
How great is that? Also included by popular demand, are the links to the
different chapters, so yoiu don't have to go page by page.
So...
| Section 2 | Section 3 | Section 4 | Section 5 | Section 6 | Section 7 | |
| Section 8 | Section 9 | Section 10 | Section 11 | Section 12 | Section 13 | |
| Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Interlude 1 | Chapter 4 | Interlude 2 | Chapter 5 | Epilogue |
Chapter One
September 5, 1989- December 15, 1990
I.
Micah Koch was definately in love. No, there was absolutely no doubt about that. He wasn't incredibly smart, nor was he mind numbingly stupid, but he thought he knew the difference between being in love, and being in lust.
Looking at Carla Wilson, and the way she dressed, with all those tight shirts, and short skirts, definately inspired lust. He could safely assume that most of the guys at school were in lust with Carla. No surprise there. The rumors about her were hot enough to make a beautician's ears burn.
Shawna Pope, however, she was a different matter entirely. She wasn't (by the standards of the rest of the guys that Micah knew) pretty, but neither was she ugly. She was the happy medium inbetween. When Micah walked into the auditorium for orientation that first day of school and saw her standing there, he knew his heart was gone. Puppy love at first sight. There was something about her that seemed to pull him toward her. Some drawing force. Like magnetism, or electricity, or something.
Since that day, he had been in love with her; but like so many young romances, there was a hitch.
She didn't know he existed. She never said anything to him, she never looked at him, she never noticed him, even when he went walking by singing a song designed to grab her attention. She just seemed to... overlook him, somehow.
But he didn't let that get him down. He was confident that she would grow to love him. She just had to give him a chance.
Micah had a friend named Jared. Jared lived in a house next to the school, and his father was one of the teachers. This was very fortuitous, since he needed someone who could get into the girls locker room.
Jared was a good friend of Micah, the only one he trusted with a task such as this. And it was a very important task indeed. in October of 1989, he handed two items to Jared, and told them what to do with them. Jared looked at the two items, and then looked at Micah. Unspoken words passed between them, and Jared went off to complete his task.
it was after school on a Friday when Micah gave Jared the two objects, and early Saturday morning, Jared put them where he was supposed to put them, one on top of the other. There they would sit until Monday morning, when school began again. Jared walked out of the girls locker room, closing the door behind him, and, task completed, went back home to catch up on his sleep.
The following Monday, everything went according to plan. Jared and Micah assumed an air of total ignorance of what was about to happen, as they should. The line had been cast, and now they just neded to see what they could catch. They sat at one of the tables close to where the girls locker room was, and waited to see what the results of their handiwork would be.
Jared was curious. Micah was scared. What if he did something wrong? Left out a word, and hadn't caught it? What if he had said something that would sound really bad? What if... What if... What if....
He slammed those thoughts away behind a cast iron door. The die had been cast, and he would have to live with the roll. it was too late to do anything about it now. He and Jared were engaged in conversation, as befitted two freshmen who had no idea what was about to happen.
Every now and then, Micah would flick a nervous glance around, trying to see when she was going to come in. Jared's voice disrupted him.
"Man, you need to chill."
"Chill? Me? I'm cool. Cool as a cucumber."
"Yeah, sure ya are. Just relax. Everything will be fine, and even if it backfires, and she doesn't like you, remember that it could be worse."
"Yeah yeah, I know. I know. But I really want her to like me. That's all I need. I'll be happy with just that. I wouldn't need anything...." He swallowed nervously. Jared watched his throat bob, and even without turning around, he knew that the moment was at hand.
"There she is," Micah said.
Shawna Pope had just gotten off the bus, and taken two steps when she was assailed. They came with no warning, and no chance for defense. They came with promises on their lips, and lies in their hearts.
The SkyWriters had come to visit.
The SkyWriters were this school's equivalent of the Sharks, or the Bloods. They were the group who thought they were God's gift to women, and the devil's gift to men. Heaven in a hell of a package. Their leader (he called himself Gutter, but to all the teachers he was Clarence, or Mr. Anderson) was a guy who had been through third grade twice, and fifth grade three times. He was a sophomore this year, though he should have been something like a sophomore in college.
The SkyWriters were as old as the school itself, but the constitution of the group had changed from year to year, as former members left, and new members filled in the voids. Gutter had taken the mantle of head SkyWriter when the previous one had graduated, against all appearances to the contrary. Some things about the SkyWriters though, never changed.
The number of their members was always 4.
The head SkyWriter was always the one that had been there the longest.
One of the members had to be able to have access to cigarettes, and to booze.
Girlfriends were allowed as long as they didn't interfere with group activities.
Everyone was fair game.
Always corrupt the good ones.
This last creedo was what was running through their minds when they saw Shawna Pope step off the bus that windy day in January. Always Corrupt the good ones.
Gutter was going to do that. He didn't have a girlfriend, and he was jonesing for Shawna. He wanted to take her, and use her. Micah would definately have recognized that as being in lust, but Gutter had never had the upbringing that Micah had had, so he assumed it was love.
Either way, Gutter was bad news.
"Hey there, Kitty-Kat," Gutter said on that brisk October morning, approaching from where he was leaning against his garishly bright orange car.
"Hello, Clarence," Shawna returned evenly. She didn't much like Gutter. Gutter grimaced at the use of his name, but it was alright, since she was the one person he allowed to call her that (other then the teachers).
"So, you hear about the Sadie Hawkins dance next month?"
"Yes."
"Yeah, me too. I had a lot of offers already, but, you know how it is with a guy like me. Keep all your options open. Yeah, you never know what girl's gonna ask you, ya know? So I figure, if I can keep my shit together for another week or so, the girl I want to ask me will. But, sometimes it seems like-"
"Clarence, that's great, really, and I hope she asks you out, and I hope you have a good time at the dance. I'm not planning on asking anyone, and I don't even know if I'm going to go, so if this is some little game to get me to ask you, forget it, alright?"
Gutter wavered a step in his stride, but picked it up again. "Hey, no problem, sweet cakes," he said putting an arm around her waist. "There's plenty of other girls who would want to spend the evening..." there was the look to his cronies, "...and the night with me. I'll just have to find someone else."
"Alright. You go ahead and do that," she said. Gutter was not expecting that reply. He faltered another step, and didn't recover quite as gracefully. Shawna walked on.
He recovered after a few seconds, and ran after her. He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around, then grabbed her by the upper arms, and looked her in the eyes.
"Ask me to the dance." Command, not request. Shawna met his gaze levelly.
"No, and if you don't let go of me, I am going to kick you so hard your children... no wait, when I'm through, you won't have any children." Gutter held her for a moment longer, then let her go.
He looked out of sorts, and then recovered, sliding a poker face into place. "Fine." He waved it off. "Your loss, babe. There's plenty of other girls who woud love to go with me."
"Yeah, like Carla. She'd probably go with you, and hey, you might even get to second base with her. You never know."
Gutter's face turned red, and it looked like he nearly burst a blood vein. Shawna turned and walked on. She was walking toward the locker rooms, when she saw him. Her dream guy. The guy she wanted to ask to the dance, but would never in a million years have the guts to ask.
She thought she was in love with him, but wasn't sure. All she knew, is that he was the sweetest, most handsome guy in the school, and she would do almost anything to have him near her. He never noticed her though. She doubted he would be interested in her even if he did. She didn't think she had a pretty face, or a nice body. There was no reason for him to notice her. She sighed once and went into the girls locker room.
Micah Koch, the guy she wanted to ask, had watched her go, but she hadn't noticed.
She went to her locker and opened it.
And blinked. What was this? She looked at the two objects sitting in her locker, and picked up the first. it was a Snickers Candy bar- her favorite. She looked quizically at it, and then at the second object. She turned it over in her hands, not seeing any sort of identifying mark on it, and opened the seal on the back. She pulled out the folded piece of paper, and read it.
"Dear Shawna,
I'm not very good at this, so I don't know how this is going to sound.
From the moment I first saw you, I loved you. There was something about you that drew me to you. I don't even know what it was. Or is. Or whatever. All I know is, I think you are beautiful, and I would love for you to ask me to the dance.
-Elfhelm"
She felt her pulse speed up, and all the color grayed out of her world. She read the note over once, twice, three times, not able to believe it's contents. it was amazing. Who would do such a thing? Who loved her? She was crazy to know,
A small flutter of nervousness rushed through her. What if it was... Micah? What if he put this note there, because he loved her? She smiled and blushed, and put the note in her breast pocket, to keep it next to her heart.
She left the Snicker bar in her locker, intending to eat it at break, and walked out of the locker room, totally forgetting about her first period books. As she walked out, she snuck another glance at Micah, sitting calmly and talking to Jared, and hoped it was him.
But she didn't ask him to the dance.
Micah watched her leave out of the corner of his eye, and gave a huge sigh of relief. He ran a hand across his eyes, and noticed his hand was shaking. Had he really been that nervous? He looked at Jared and smiled a nervous smile. Jared smiled back and clapped him on the shoulder.
"C'mon, man, lets get to class."
They went.
Micah sat in the classroom all that week and stared all the way across the room at Shawna. He didn't pay any attention to the teacher, and the end of the week test was murderous for him. He knew some of it, but by no means all of it, and when he was done, he had that feeling of failure that usually accompanies someone doing a bad job.
All he wanted was for Shawna to ask him to the dance. if that had happened, he would have been able to concentrate. There was a time a couple days ago when he thought that she was going to. She had been walking in his general direction, and she had a really nervous look on her face (all of this noticed out of the corner of his eye of course).
But before she had gotten there, something happened, actually a couple of things, and she ended up asking someone else.
Shawna sat in the same class, looking at Micah through the corner of her eye, and wishing he would say something, anything to her. Sometimes, when she walked by him, he would be singing a song, and she liked his voice, and hearing him sing, but he never said anything to her.
She sighed and looked down at her test, and had no idea what the questions meant. Trinomial? What the heck was that? Graphing? Argh!!! irrational numbers?
The dance was drawing nearer, and several times, she had almost screwed up enough courage to go ask Micah to the dance, but she had chickened out. The last time, a couple days ago, had pretty much destroyed all self-confidence she had.
That was the time that Micah said yes to someone else.
She looked across the patio at him and Jared, sitting at their usual table, discussing whatever it was that guys discussed, and she was psyching herself up to ask him. Finally, she decided that the old adage was right: She Who Hesitates is Lost, and began to walk over to him. This is it, she thought, I'm really going to do it. I'm really going to ask him. I'll just go over there, and ask him, and he'll say yes, and everything will be cool. I won't stop, cause if I stop, then I won't be able to start again, but that's okay, cause I'm not gonna stop. I'm not gonna-
She was halfway there, with what had to be the look of a one legged armadillo on a freeway, when Gutter decided to give her another chance.">
He came out of nowhere, stepping right in front of her, without his cronies this time, and talked to her.
"Hey there Kitty-"
"Don't call me that, Clarence," she said in a quiet voice. Her momentum had been halted, but she thought she might have enough to start again, if she could rid of him quickly.
"Oh, I'm sorry Shawna," he said, quite nicely. "I didn't know you didn't like that. I was thinking though, about the way I treated you Monday morning."
Behind him, she could see Micah, just a few yards away. All she had to do was get rid of this-
No. No no no. Please, don't- She watched Carla Wilson step toward Micah and teasingly slide a finger down his chest and say something to him. She leaned in seductively, and Shawna noticed that her low cut shirt was hanging open, giving Micah a rather fair view of her cleavage if he chose to look. Gutter was rambling on.
"I realize that you may have seen me as an obnoxious pig, or perhaps a real jerk, but I'm not really like that. in fact, I'm actually a nice guy." He ran out of steam, and stood there, looking at her. She was looking the scene played out behind Gutter. She watched as Micah looked at Carla, and then at Jared, and then she heard him say something, and those words that he said broke her confidence completely. She knew she couldn't go over there now.
She had watched Micah turn to Carla and say that he would love to go to the dance with her. She felt her heart shatter, and drop in a million pieces, into her stomach. The feeling was not a pleasant one. She felt sick.
Gutter was reiterating the fact that he was a nice guy. She turned her attention to him, with an ire.
"Yes, Clarence, I'm sure you are, but actually, I need to be somewhere else right now, and you are kind of in my way."
"Listen to me!" He lowered his voice down again. "I am asking you to ask me to the dance. I will be a perfect gentleman, I won't do anything you don't want to do, and I promise to be the perfect escort for you.
"Shawna," he took a deep breath, "Will you ask me to the dance?"
"Listen to me Gutter, theres a lot going on right now, so I'm not saying stay away, and I'm not saying I would like you to go to the dance with me. Just give me a few days to think it over, okay?"
Gutter nodded his head enthusiastically. "Yeah, sure. No prob." he tipped her a wink that somehow looked more lecherous then charming, and sauntered off to wherever he had come from.
Shawna, nearly on the verge of tears, ran to the ladies room, and cried.
Micah was eating lunch, and not eating a whole lot. He looked down at his peanut butter and jelly sandwich with reproach, not feeling very good. He was nervous, but he had no idea why. Perhaps it was the way he had caught Carla looking at him all day. it made him uncomfortable. Maybe it was the complete lack of attention that Shawna showed him. he was starting to think that maybe she really didn't like him.
He turned to Jared. "What if she doesn't really like me?"
Jared rolled his eyes. "Will you just let it go? if she asks you, she asks you, and if she doesn't, she doesn't. That's just the way it's going to be. I'm sure you'll survive if she doesn't ask you."
"Yeah, I probably will, but what if she asks someone else?" He put his sandwich down on the table and wiped his hands together. "I think that would kill me."
"it isn't going to kill you, and what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right? Trust me on that, I know."
Micah looked long and hard at his friend. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. But I don't know if I want to be that- Oh geez. is she walking this way?"
Jared looked over Micah's shoulder. "Yeah, she's walking this way. Maybe this is your big moment buddy. Here we- uh oh."
"What?" he turned to look, and there was Gutter, harassing Shawna. Micah was about to get up and tell him to leave her alone, when Jared held him back.
"Don't." That was all he said, but it spoke volumes between these two friends. Don't go over and bug Gutter, he'll bug you back, and you won't like it. Don't go over there and be the valiant hero for Shawna, only to get yourself killed. Don't push your luck, you only have so much. Horde it for later.
Micah sat, and watched them act out their scene. Then he felt the finger. It started up at his neck, and tickled him there. He turned and looked, and there was Carla Wilson, wearing her tight, low cut shirt, and her short skirt, and she had a look in her eyes that Micah didn't much care for. She slid her finger down his shirt, and rested it on his thigh.
"Hi Micah," she said huskily. "You know, I've been noticing you alot lately, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" She leaned in closer to him, enveloping him with her perfume, and letting her shirt front fall open.
Micah didn't take the bait. He had been raised to respect women, and not treat them like meat, and so he didn't look. He looked at Jared, and then at Carla.
"I would love to go to the dance with you, Carla," he said, and then looked at Jared, then down at his feet, "but I can't." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jared's mouth flop open. "Sorry."
Carla stood, and with a quick twirl that raised her skirt a few inches, she walked off, and out of Micah's life. He wouldn't hear from her again for another two and half years, and when he did, it would be the harbringer of the darkest time of his life.
He looked back to Shawna and Gutter, and caught the last snippet of their conversation.
"-saying I would like you to go to the dance with me." Shawna's head dropped down, and he missed the rest of what she said, but from the way Gutter's form straightened, he assumed it must have been something good.
He felt his hopes die, withering slowly and painfully.
He turned to Jared. "She asked Gutter. He said yes."
Jared nearly choked on his food.
The day of the Sadie Hawkins came, and Micah had decided to go. it was after a long and nearly sleepless night that he decided that if he was going to get over Shawna, it would have to start with him going to the dance and accepting the fact that she was there with Gutter. He could do that. That day, tired, bleary eyed, and rather restless, he had payed his 17 dollars, and gotten his ticket. He was going stag.
Jared had a date. He had been asked by Marie Montaigna, the girl that most everyone thought he would end up with sooner or later. That idea sprang from the fact that Jared's parents, and Marie's parents had been friends since before Jared was even born. Naturally, he and Marie had been friends, and then close friends, and now everyone just assumed they were for each other. Which is why they were going to the Dance together.
Jared and Micah went out that morning and got Jared his corsage for Marie, then saw a movie. Micah didn't even pay much attention to it, to messed up about Shawna to care.
The evening finally came, and they went down to the school. Outside the gym, Jared asked Micah if he would be alright.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. This is the first step to getting over her."
"it'll be okay man, no woman's worth crawling on the earth. Frankie Valli knew that back in the sixties and you know it here and now. Maybe there is hope for America's youth."
Micah smiled and completed the old interchange they had. "Yeah, except for the youth in your family."
Jared clapped him on the shoulder, and they stepped inside
Shawna smoothed her dress out when she got out of the car. She took a deep breath, and leaned over, looking at her face in the Passenger side mirror. No mascara had run, which was good. Her older sister, who had driven her here, watched her.
"You're really torn up about this guy aren't you? Or do you always cry on the way to a dance?"
Shawna gave her a look, but otherwise ignored the comment. in the days following the incident between her and Gutter, she had continuously stalled, and postponed, and procrastinated, and here she was, going stag. Which was better then going with Gutter, she supposed, but not as good as going with Micah. Unfortunately, Micah had not seen it the same way, and thought that going with Carla was just as good as going with anyone else. Probably better, considering her reputation.
But darn it, if she was going to go stag, then she was going to have the best time that she could possibly have at this dance.
Without Micah of course.
She stepped away from the car and walked to the double glass doors that were the entrance to the gym. She pulled one open and stepped inside. Loud music hit her like a brick wall.
"YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY, RIGHT ROUND, ROUND, ROUND!" Dead Or Alive shouted over the speakers. Then the song ended, and the lights stopped twitching.
Great, she thought, They hired a professional DJ. She sighed and stepped over to the refreshment table, and poured herself some punch. She took a sip, and turned, bumping into someone, and spilling her drink on them.
"Oh! I'm so-" Her voice momentarily faltered, as she realized who she was talking to. She forced herself to finish the sentance. "-Sorry. Are you alright?"
Micah's brown eyes looked into her blue ones. "Oh.... uhhh... well... yeah. I'm fine." He grinned, and she nearly melted. She loved that grin. "Are you alright?"
"Well, I was a little startled, but other then that, I'm okay."
"That's.... uh... That's good." He nodded his head and poured himself a glass of punch. He sipped it and looked at her, and she looked back, racking her brains for something to say. Anything. Preferably anything interesting, that would make him notice her.
"What?" She said finally, mentally slapping her hand to her forehead. She couldn't believe she had used such a stupid line.
"What do you mean what?"
"Well, you're staring at me."
"Because you were staring at me."
"No I wasn't!"
"Yes you were."
Shawna lowered her eyes, ashamed to be arguing with Micah. it would probably ruin all chances she had with him if she kept it up. She lifted her head, determined to tell him how she felt. She opened her mouth to speak...
And the words died in her throat. She closed her mouth and sipped her punch again.
After a moment of silence, and sipping punch, Micah left.
Micah stepped away from the punch table and walked over to where Jared and Marie were waiting to get their picture taken. Her arm was wrapped around his, and she looked really happy. He did too for that matter, and that got Micah just the tiniest bit jealous. He wanted to be here with someone, but other then Carla, no one else had asked him.
He sipped his punch.
"Nice run-in you had with Shawna, there, pal."
"Shut up. I don't need you to rub that in." Marie smiled and watched them duel. She liked that.
"Well, I was just saying that if you had wanted to ask her to dance, that would have been the oppurtune time to do so."
Micah sighed a long and heavy sigh. "That didn't even occur to me. it should have. I don't know. Maybe we aren't meant to be together."
"Cheer up pal. This is s'posed to be a happy time." He smiled. "Ask someone to dance. C'mon. it can't be that hard. I bet Carla would do it. "
"I would rather have nothing to do with Carla, thank you very much."
"Alright, that's fine. You don't have to. But try and cheer up huh? This is your first real dance. Lighten up. I'm going to go request a song. Talk to you later man."
Jared wandered over to the DJ booth. Micah watched them go.
Shawna watched Micah talking to Jared and Marie out of the corner of her eye, and wished he would come back. She sighed, and sipped her punch again. The current song ended, and the DJ reminded everyone to get their picture taken.
Shawna took a step towards the DJ booth to request a song, when she caught sight of Gutter. He was dancing by himself, and not looking very happy. She felt a moment of pity, and then laughed at herself for it. He didn't deserve any pity. At least, not her pity.
Still, she felt a little bad for him.
He turned and looked at her, and she hurriedly turned away, and began a fast paced walk towards the Ladies room. She heard a throat clear behind her, and someone call her name. She turned around, and there he stood. Right behind her.
She sighed.
"Clarence, what do you want?"
"All I want is to dance with you. If you didn't want to go with me to the dance, would you at least dance with me once you're there?"
She thought about it. "No, I don't think so."
Micah was watching Shawna out of the corner of his eye, and wishing she would come over to where he was. He swore to himself that if he got the oppurtunity again that night, he would ask her to dance. He watched her as she began to walk toward the dance floor, and then stop, and suddenly he had a sinking feeling in his stomach, as if he knew what was going to happen.
Sure enough, Gutter came over and talked to her, while she was walking away.
He took a tentative step toward them, and then another. He took two more steps before he realized he was drawing closer. He stopped in his tracks, wondering what he was doing.
He watched the two talk, and as he did, he didn't notice that he had again begun to move closer.
Gutter looked at Shawna, and blinked.
"No? You said no?"
"Yeah. What part do you not understand? The N or the O?"
Gutter's face darkened, and he took a deep breath. "Perhaps I should rephrase the question, Kitty-Cat. You WOULD like to dance with me."
"I would?"
"Yes," he nodded in emphasis. "You would."
"I don't think-" Suddenly, he had grabbed her arm, and was dragging her off to the dance floor. Wrenching pain flared through her arm, as he tightened his grip and drew her on.
She cried out, but the loud music drownd out her cry. She closed her eyes, and suddenly stopped moving. Gutter had stopped moving also.
"Let her go." A voice said. She recognized that voice. it was-
"What? Are you telling me what to do?"
"Yeah Gutter, I am." She looked up, and there was Micah, looking scared, terrified really- but who wouldn't be? - and he was blocking Gutter's path. He let go of her and drew himself up to his full height. One rarely achieved because of the way he always slouched when he walked.
"You are so dead, asswipe." Micah flinched, but didn't back down.
What the heck am I doing???? The voice pounded thorugh Micah's head, demanding a good answer. The answer was not long in coming. Defending Shawna, now shut up.
Apparently, that was a good enough answer, because the voice shut up. He looked defiantly at Gutter, scared out of wits, but refusing to move. Around them, people had begun to take notice of what was happening, and they were watching intently. Soon, all conversation had died, and only the music continued.
Behind Gutter, Shawna looked... well... scared, but there was something else in her eyes. He didn't know what it was. He turned his attention back to Gutter.
Gutter stared back with a promise of death. Micah didn't drop his eyes.
They stared at each other for a full minute, while Flock of Seagulls played in the background, and then Gutter dropped his eyes.
He took a step closer to Micah. "This isn't over, you little shit. I'll get you. Just wait." He stalked off, and out of the gym.
Micah watched him go, and rubbed his eyes. He looked at Shawna, and couldn't think of one bloody thing to say. She smiled at him. He smiled back, then sighed and walked away.
Shawna looked back at him, and wanted to tell him thank you. She wanted to run to him and hug him. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to dance with him.
Instead, she smiled at him. He smiled back, sighed, and walked off. She watched him, and felt her heart sink.
The rest of the year was uneventful. There was some interaction between Gutter and Micah, but it was always short, and nothing came of it. Gutter continued to jones after Shawna, and Shawna continued to reject him.
Shawna and Micah, continued to ignore each other, each hoping the other would make the first move.
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