Reptile Haiku!


Inspired by this email I was sent by a friend who new of my love for three lined bits of soul I have decided to write some Haiku about the joys and pratfalls, mostly of Reptile Husbandry but also other stuff.

Snakes

Same hands every day,
Hark! Faint rodent aroma
Now rat with five heads.


When snake cuddles girl,
Head tucks snug into bra cup,
Why are you now red?

My large warm snake tank,
One exploitable weakness,
Aha, now cold floor is home.












CATS

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand
New rule tomorrow

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomits hairball somewhere
Will find in morning!

Grace personified,
Leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then--
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds--
Your foot just squashed one

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner!

Want to trim my claws?
Don't even think about it!
My yelps wake the dead.

I want to be close
to you--can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One has
Been trapped by newspaper! Cat
To the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp...

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink.

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

Curl to lick my toes
Roll on back to catch my tail
Touch me now--you die!