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Humor Two
A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:
- DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR
DISCOMFORT. Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific
objectivity.
- BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES. Your doctor leads a
busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.
- TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU
ARE BEING TREATED. Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
- DO NOT COMPLAIN IF THE TREATMENT FAILS TO BRING
RELIEF. You must believe that your doctor has
achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent
disability you may have experienced.
- SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY.
Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper will surely be of widespread interest.
- PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY.
You should consider it a privilege to contribute,
however modestly, to the well-being of physicians and other humanitarians.
- DO NOT SUFFER FROM AILMENTS THAT YOU CANNOT
AFFORD. It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond your means.
- NEVER REVEAL ANY OF THE SHORTCOMINGS THAT HAVE
COME TO LIGHT IN THE COURSE OF TREATMENT BY YOUR DOCTOR. The patient-doctor relationship is a privileged one, and you have a sacred duty to protect him from exposure.
- NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S PRESENCE OR UNDER HIS DIRECT CARE. This will only cause him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.
 DR. SEUSS EXPLAINS WHY COMPUTERS
SOMETIMES CRASH
(Best if read out loud.)
If a packet hits a pocket
on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted
at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory
makes your floppy disk abort.
Then the socket packet pocket
has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item
followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon
puts your window in the trash;
and your data is corrupted
cuz the index doesn't hash,
then the situation's hopeless
and your system's gonna crash.
If the label on the cable
at your house,
says the network is connected to
the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to
tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected
by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted
by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window
are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot
and go out with a bang,
cuz sure as I'm a poet,
the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's
getting sloppy in the disc
and the microcode instructions
cause unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory
and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer
and be sure to tell your Mom!
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