Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell
happened.
Signs You Might Be Bipolar:
- You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.
- The sun is too loud.
- Trees begin to chase you.
- You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
- You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
- You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
- Things become "Very Clear."
- You ask the drive-through attendant if you can get your order to go.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
- You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chandeliers can understand.
- The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
- You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!" even though you are the only one in the room.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
- Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
- It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
- You can travel without moving.
- Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
- You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
- You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
- Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.
