Constantly, I'm thinking subconsciously,
Self ambition or vain conceit is haunting me
(Deliver me), cuz what I feel I feel to freely,
A feeling higher than self-esteem, Be
That I wish it were a lower token,
Part of me feels that since I am open
To the actual emotion it dissolves like lotion,
Yet another feeling merges to the surface
Purposely humbling myself feels
Like putting me on a higher shelf
As though I was better than everybody else
So either -or- I still feel screwed
And in the wrong no matter which thing I choosed
I wish I coul feel in a way where I'm not better
I want to feel how it is expressed in Paul's letter
To the saints of Phillipi
I, try to deny I, with memorization
From the Word of Thy, My Lord
Why does this have to be so hard??


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