Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Kris, call out to me from the kitchen. "Phil! the garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."

You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!"

"I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence.

I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink.

At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step manner.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.

Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

If they had only known.

We find ourselves telling each other
the deepest details of our lives...
things we don't even share with our families.

But what is a friend? A confidant?
A lover? A shoulder to cry on?
An ear to listen? A heart to feel?

A friend is all of these things and more.
No matter where we met, no
matter how long we've been together...
I call you a friend.

A word so small, yet so large in feeling,
a word filled with emotion, a
word overflowing with LOVE.
Truly great things come in small
packages.

Once the package of friendship has
been opened, it can never be closed.

It is a constant book always waiting...
waiting to be read...and
enjoyed. We may have our
disagreements...we may have our
disappointments...we may argue...
we may concern one another.
Friendship is a unique bond that
lasts through all tribulations.

A part of each of us goes into our
friendships...our humor...our
experiences...our tears. Friendships
are foundations... necessary for
life...and love.

Even though I don't speak to you all
everyday...or even as often as I
would like to...You have all crossed
my path of life in one way or
another...some of you I've only
bumped into...some have walked a while
with me. And some of you will
continue to walk with me...but DON'T
EVER THINK FOR A SECOND
that since we aren't in constant
contact...that I don't think of you
all...because if it
wasn't for coming across all of
YOU... who knows? I would be a
completely different person...and.. well...I'm happy with how I've turned out so far.

Thank you.