Go weep for her Maureen

page 7

next in journal to be continued from here

After this it was time to go back up to Russellville for the sweat.. I was still undefined in that I still had not been able to locate where I had stored my memories of her..

The memories of my first Sweat Lodges are sacred, like going to Church, sacred.. That's how it felt.. like going to Church.. smudged first, bow down, say a prayer, ask to enter... off to my side a spirit animal comes up and sniffs my neck.. look over and it my Cheetah.. wow, thinking hope no one feels threatened by this, for the Cheetah enters in with me..

I wanted to remain silent this time.  I had exposed so much of myself in the 2 sweats before this on.  I wanted to remain silent, no testimonies this time, no sharing.  But when it came time to speak, to share myself, there was the Cheetah telling me to share her story of appearing to me on the mountain.. so I did..

Later the girl who sat beside me took me home with her and her mate to spend the night.  She told me that the Cheetah sharing message was for her..

The next morning I got up and drove back to the the Place of Peace mountain to do the ceremony I had been sent to do.. As I went up the mountain I was instructed on where to place the gemstones, so I did as I was told.. got up to the top, it was still a little bit early and went to the Stone People I had gone too earlier.. I was still thinking I needed to find my memories of when I was there before, when the hot springs came up out of her and made rainbows appear upon her body.  I had been there a week and remembered being her sister, but I hadn't been able to locate my memories..  They were so funny, I was sitting there fretting over spending a week not being able to find my memories,  thinking, "you know I'm a funky girl, and I know me, I would have stored my memories somewhere."  and they just laughed and said, "you stored your memories in a man."

After that the birds told me how to get to the place where I was to weep for the mountain.  They kept saying, "go this way."  And then, "go that way."  I followed all the instructions and found myself at the top on one side of the mountain sitting on a stone, speaking into the collective as if I was making my supplication to them over the Place of Peace, over the Indian people in general.  So very beautiful and sacred in their ceremonies, yet they feel as though they have been whipped, even as they stand sacred in their ceremonies so beautiful.  I asked that the ones who could hear me that they would open the pathways needed for the healing to take place, to know that the world saw their sacred walk and opened up the pathways before them so that they could perform their ceremonies without the need to view with sarcasm all the pain and the hurt over not being view as sacred in their walk.

As I was doing this I began to hear the stones singing, well what I heard was this great Ommmmmmmm.. and the more I tried to send out my supplication the louder this Ommmmmm became, so that eventually my prayer, mingled with my tears became smaller and smaller, and I started thanking the stones I seen around me for joining me in my prayer, for they were creating this Ommmmmmm that was so loud that I could hardly hear myself praying, talking to the collective listeners, asking for volunteers to step forth, open up the pathways for the Indians.. I could hardly hear anything more than this beautiful collective Ommmmmmm of the stone people going up into the grid.

Finally I stood up and turned to see the source of this great Ommmmmmm, and I was so awed by what I saw for the birds had taken me into this great amphitheater.  Hundred of stone people sitting there,  Grandfathers and grandmothers, children and teens, mothers and father, the Stone people all came to join me in my prayer.  It was beautiful.