Sc3: Matt and Mike are driving in Matt's BMW along the freeway
MIKE: How can you like her so much? It's abnormal.
MATT: Have you seen her? She's God-sent. (Smiles)
MIKE: (hits Matt) Snap out of it. Do remember you're the one driving. (VO: Freak.) You're like a
love sick puppy dog. It's sick.
Matt shrugs
MIKE: Anyway, she's pure trouble man. She's not even you're type.
MATT: Shut up! How do you know she's not my type?
MIKE: Well, for one thing, she's pure evil. And don't forget she tried to kill you.
MATT: I'm letting bygones be bygones.
MIKE: Does that mean I don't have to pay you back for Friday?
MATT: YES YOU HAVE TO PAY ME BACK! I mean, I don't care what she does or has done.
MIKE: But Matt, she's the devil incarnate. Plus she's engaged.
MATT: (shocked) What? No! Nooooo! She's mine. Mine!
MIKE: (shaking his head) Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt. You don't have a chance in hell...and she
lives there. (pats Matt on his back twice)
MATT: (looks into the sky) Oh I'll have her, if that's the last thing I do. She will be mine.
Mike shakes his head, rolls his eyes and sighs
Sc4: Matt spies on Renee and Josh having lunch at a local cafe. Josh leaves to go to the bathroom.
Matt sneaks from behind a tree, to behind a bench, to behind a telegraph pole, to the cafe. He
parks his ass behind Renee. He breathes in her perfume and feels like he's in heaven. He slips
a note into the bag sitting near her. Renee picks up the bag and looks through it. She picks out
the wallet and puts the bag back. An old lady (sitting behind Renee and Matt) picks up her
bag and leaves. Matt sits confused. Josh comes back.
JOSH: You ready to go?
RENEE: Yep.
Josh and Renee leave. Matt sits for a while still confused then he leaves trying to understand
what just happened.
Sc5: Matt and Mike are walking along an near empty road
MIKE: See? I told you she was no good. Didn't I tell you?
MATT: Yeah, yeah. Maybe she thought it was her bag and didn't realise it
MIKE: (looks at Matt disbelievingly) Yeah, and hell is freezing over as we speak. Just go for someone
else.
MATT: No. She's the one. The only one.
MIKE: Matt, you know she's wrong for you. Just admit it.
MATT: Look, I don't care if she steals. And, of course I know she's wrong for me. Whaddaya think I
am? An idiot?
MIKE: Basically, yeah.
MATT: That was a rhetorical question.
MIKE: I know.
MATT: She may seem or appear wrong for me...but I believe that we are soulmates and that we were
meant to be together forever.
MIKE: She doesn't even know you exist.
MATT: That will all change. When she meets me she'll know, she'll know everything I know now.
We'll only have eyes for each other and no one will come between us.
MIKE: God, just shut up.
They walk I silence for a few secs
MATT: Anyway, if an old lady calls, tell her she has the wrong number.
Sc6: Renee is at the beach having fun with her friends playing with a beachball. Matt is trying to
join in, dressed as a girl(wig, makeup, dress and heels)
CLAIRE: Hey Renee, why has that drag queen been following us. And what the hell is he doing?
RENEE: I have no idea. I don't even wanna know.
CLAIRE: D'ya think if we went into the water, he'd follow?
RENEE: Wanna try it?
CLAIRE: Oh yeah.
RENEE: Hey guys, let's go (points to the ocean)
EVERYONE: Yeah!
They all rush into the water and swim far out. Matt follows forgetting what he's wearing. He
gets dunked by a wave which removes the wig and dress, leaving him in his undies and
stilettos
MATT: Wait, there's something I'm forgetting. (Looks down at himself) Uh oh.
CUT TO: Renee looks at Claire who is laughing her ass off
RENEE: Gimme 5.
CLAIRE: (starts singing) Everybody get up, sing it, 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5 were meant to get down now.
Renee and everyone else join in. They get stuck at the rap.
CLAIRE: Who is that guy?
RENEE: (ponders for a moment) I dunno. But he seems familiar. (Shrugs)
CLAIRE: He is kinda cute though. He's much better than Josh. Although anyone's better than Josh.
RENEE: So...
CLAIRE: So...what?
RENEE: So go up to him and introduce yourself.
CLAIRE: Should I?
RENEE: (impatiently) Yes! Now go!
Claire swims to Matt
CLAIRE: Hi. I'm Claire. And you?
MATT: Uh, I'm Matt (distracted by Renee)
CLAIRE: That's a nice name. I was wondering whether you'd like to get an icecream or something.
MATT: Would Renee come?
CLAIRE: You like Renee?
Matt nods
CLAIRE: Oh, excuse me.
Claire swims back to Renee
RENEE: Well?
CLAIRE: He likes you.
RENEE: What?
CLAIRE: He's been following you coz he's in love with you. Okay?
RENEE: What's his name?
CLAIRE: Apart from asshole? It's Matt.
RENEE: Oh.
Renee looks at Matt getting dunked by waves
RENEE: That's right! I tried to shoot him once. (gets confused) That makes no sense. (Shrugs) Eh.
