Sc37: Renee is walking around Centennial Park with Matt. Josh is slowly walking. He's tired and
hungry. He spots Renee and Matt.
JOSH: (VO: I thought they were sworn enemies. Well, at least they can be friends. Might as well
introduce myself.)
Josh walks down to them
MATT: I thought you got rid of him.
RENEE: I did too.
JOSH: Hello all. Y'know, that was quite something...what you did last week. Taking my motor...see, I
always said you had a sense of humour. So, Matt. I see you two have resolved the family's
differences.
MATT: You could say that. What are you doing here?
JOSH: What? I'm being a good fiancé by saying hello to my future wife's friends. Isn't it obvious?
RENEE: Josh, I've told you before...wait, where's my cat?
JOSH: Ah, well...you see...there was a really big...mini...and it came straight for us.
RENEE: You killed my cat?
JOSH: Well, sort of. But it doesn't mater. Once we're married, we can buy millions of cats! Acres and
acres of cats!
RENEE: Josh! I am not, repeat not, marrying you!
JOSH: Yes you are silly. That's why we're engaged...
RENEE: We're engaged because my parents wanna suck all the money from your stupid little household
till your family dies and rots in hell.
JOSH: Too many words in the one sentence for little Joshy to understand.
RENEE: Josh! I will never be your wife! We are not marrying. I'm marrying him!
Renee points to Matt
MATT/JOSH: What?
MATT: You mean, you say yes?
RENEE: Don't get so worked up about it, I'm only marrying you to get rid of him.
JOSH: But you can't marry. I mean, you're just friends.
MATT: That's where you're wrong.
JOSH: Renee, your parents will never approve.
RENEE: I don't care whether they approve or not. (Points to herself and Josh) This engagement is non-
existent. (Points to herself and Matt) This is.
JOSH: But...
RENEE: No. Don't talk. Just listen. Me no marry you. Me marry him. And if you really love me...you
won't tell my parents. Do you really love me.
JOSH: (points to her cleavage) I love them.
MATT: Then do it for them.
JOSH: (grumpily) Fine. But I can assure you...I'm definitely not happy.
MATT: I'll let you hold her bag...
JOSH: (happily) Okay!
Matt hands Josh Renee's bag. They start walking.
Sc38: Matt and Renee are in the chapel. Mike is standing at the side. Mike winks at Matt who smiles.
Sc39: Josh and Renee's parents are having lunch.
MOTHER: Now where is Renee. Her roast duck is getting cold.
FATHER: She told me she'd be out trying to find Fluffy.
JOSH: (bluntly) Fluffy's dead.
MOTHER: What, what, what!?
JOSH: Fluffy's dead.
FATHER: Does my little Renee know this?
JOSH: Yeah.
FATHER: Then where is she?
JOSH: Can't tell.
MOTHER: Why?
JOSH: I promised her I wouldn't.
MOTHER: Aw, how sweet. Our future son in law's already promised our little Renee something.
JOSH: Nope.
FATHER: What?
JOSH: She's wrong.
FATHER: Wrong about what?
JOSH: Me.
They wait for Josh to continue but he continues eating.
MOTHER: Yes?
JOSH: Yes?
FATHER: For God's sake boy, just tell us what the hell is going on?
JOSH: I'm not your future son in law.
MOTHER: Now Josh, we've told you before not to believe anything Renee tells you coz she's just
messing with your mind.
JOSH: But...
FATHER: No buts, you're marrying my daughter and that's final.
JOSH: But she's marring someone else...oops.
MOTHER: I'm sorry what?
JOSH: I wasn't supposed to tell you but your little Renee is marrying someone else.
FATHER: And just who is she marrying.
JOSH: Ah, now she made me double promise not to tell you that.
Renee's father holds a gun up against Josh's head.
FATHER: Who is my daughter marrying?
JOSH: But sir I...
FATHER: I am her father and I deserve to know who my own daughter is marrying!! And you better
tell otherwise...
Renee's father starts to pull the trigger.
JOSH: (wailing) She's marrying Matt...she's marrying Matt...please don't kill me...
FATHER: But he's dead...that little bastard tricked me...Don't worry Josh, you've always been good to
me. No, I won't kill you...I'm gonna kill her.
MOTHER: Where are those ingrates now?
JOSH: Well, about now, they should have already married and are on their way to the airport to go to
Hawaii!
MOTHER: Then what are we waiting for.
They get up and rush to the car. They speed off.
