Scenes 39-42
Scenes 35-38 yada, yada, yada you know the rest etc, etc, etc
Scene 35: Ruby is running and Pat runs into her
Ruby: Pat, you would not believe what happened.
Pat: I know, you had a date with a married man.
Ruby: What what what?
Pat: Billy told me that you had dinner with Johnny. Well, Johnny and Mel married last year.
Ruby: Oh my gawd.
Ruby runs behind a bush and throws up
Scene 36: While Johnny is hunting in the woods he finally spots something he can kill. A cow.
Johnny: Finally. Geez. It's taken me all day to find something to kill.
The cow raises a gun (COWS WITH GUNS PLAYING SOFTLY)
Johnny: Wait a minute, something's wrong.
Cow: So, you were married to Melody all along and you didn't tell me. You lying piece of shit!!
Johnny: Am I on candid camera?
Cow: No you moron. It's me, Ruby. Now it's time to do something to you that should've been done a
long time ago.
Johnny: No, don't flush my head in a toilet. That's already been done to me. It's already been done!
Johnny starts crying
Ruby: Not that! Although it's a good idea It's time to say goodbye.
(FALLING IN LOVE IS HARD ON THE KNEES by AEROSMITH PLAYING SOFTLY)
Ruby raises the gun. She shoots and Johnny's down and out. Melody starts running up
Mel: Noooo!! Bitch! Now you're gonna get it. You're dead.
Ruby: But I'm the one with the gun!
Mel: Yes, slight inconvenience.
Ruby raises the gun while Pat is running up (I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU PLAYING SOFTLY)
Pat: I'll save you!! (runs in slowmo to MMMBOP by HANSON PLAYING SOFTLY)
Ruby shoots but misses coz of her spazmo arm and hits Pat between the eyes.
Ruby: D'oh!
Ruby shoots again -using both hands-and kills Melody
(ALL AROUND ME by SAVAGE GARDEN PLAYING SOFTLY)
Ruby: Hasta la vista Stinky!!
CUT TO: Fran who is hiding behind a nearby bush looks on angrily but doesn't make a sound
CUT TO: Billy rides up on Ruddy (I WILL COME TO YOU by HANSON PLAYING SOFTLY) , flips
Ruby onto Ruddy and rides off into the sunset.
Ruby: Uh, Billy?
Billy: Yes, Ruby?
Ruby: My BMW's back there (points to the woods)
Billy: Oh.
Music abruptly stops
LA
Scene 37: Ruby is having lunch with Jeremy (I WANT YOU by SAVAGE GARDEN PLAYING SOFTLY)
Ruby: Jeremy, after Rebecca and Dave committed suicide, I realised how quickly life can go and…
Jeremy: Yes, Ruby?
Ruby: Well, I've never felt this way before about anyone.
Jeremy: Ruby, are you trying to chat me up for a date?
Ruby: Don't push it, stick boy.
Jeremy: Look, just come to my place tonight. Around 6, okay?
Ruby: Yeah, okay. See ya later.
Ruby leaves
Jeremy: Bye. (pauses for minute) Wait, now I have to pay for lunch.
Scene 38: Ruby looks at her clock. 5:50pm. She rushes upstairs and changes, speeds in her BMW and
arrives at Jeremy's place at 5:58pm
Ruby: (VO: I am…too good.)
She rings the doorbell 4 times before he opens the door
Jeremy: Oh sorry, oh you look pretty. Is it a new dress?
Ruby: No way.
Jeremy kisses her head and pulls out the price tag still connected to her dress. He grins
Jeremy: So you always leave the tag on your dresses? (laughs)
Ruby goes red and pulls the price tag off
Ruby: Fashion statement. (pokes him in the stomach)
Jeremy: Ow, okay. I'll fix dinner while you take a seat on the lounge. There are drinks in that cabinet
(points at the brown cabinet next to the display cupboard) The glasses are there too.
Jeremy goes into the kitchen. Ruby goes to the cabinet and takes a bottle of red wine and two
elegant glasses. She pours red wine into both and sits on the lounge. She hears Jeremy rummaging
around in the kitchen. She finishes her drink in one gulp then gets up and goes into the kitchen.
Ruby: Hey, whatcha cooking?
Jeremy: Er, well, um, I'm making…
Ruby: You don't know how to cook do you?
Jeremy: What kind of a silly question is that? I can cook. You just go sit back down and I'll have dinner
ready in no time.
Ruby goes back and turns on the TV. She drinks his wine. Shortly after, Jeremy calls her to dinner.
Ruby goes into the dining room. She looks at the table. A vase of flowers sits in the middle of the
table. Candles are on either side of the vase which is on top of a Batman tablecloth. Forks and
spoons have been laid out. Two empty bowls are next to the cutlery which are above two napkins.
Jeremy pulls out a seat for her.
Jeremy: (in a fake Italian accent) Dinner is served.
Ruby: Jeremy, this is very nice, but what did you make?
Jeremy: You'll see, the greatest chefs today are men, y'know.
Jeremy goes into the kitchen and comes back with a small pot and a funny, long, looking fork. He
starts to fork out noodles into the two bowls
Ruby: You mean to tell me you made two minute noodles??!
Jeremy: (baby voice) Yes. Try it, it's chicken and corn, the new flavour.
Ruby rolls her eyes but scoffs the noodles down
Ruby: Don't tell me we're having fruit for dessert.
Jeremy: No, this new low fat yogurt with cherries. My favourite.
Ruby: Ugh. I can't eat cherries. I'm allergic to them.
Jeremy: I thought you said you were allergic to apples?
Ruby: Uh, that too. They both give me rashes.
Jeremy: (disappointed) Oh well, doesn't matter. We'll just have ice cream then.
Ruby: Sounds good.
Scenes 43 & 44
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