Failure - June 1999

My mind is so crazy
So fucking bad
Gotta get out of here
Coz' I'm going mad

I'm raging with anger
At what would have been
Changing perspective
Of my little scene

Staring at my monitor
like a lost child
Thinking of my life style
And why it is so wild

My head is all cloudy
Thought have gone blank
Looking at myself and thinking
"God what a wank"

I having these visions
Of power and pain
Wondering how
I fucked up again

Emotionally I stood
defeated I fell
I'm wishing every fucker
would just go to hell

I'm pissed off now
as angry as fuck
Taking my temper
out on Fra and Duck

My heads in a spin
I want to cry
Maybe i'll take some pills
help me to die

I'm back in my leathers
sniffing some roses
Re-joining the people
who have pierced noses

I'm back in the real world
back on the straight
Walk up the path
and open the gate....

~The End~

God - Late 1999

As I walk down this street
On a dark and dreary day
I slipped and fell onto my knees
So I started to pray

I thought of my sorrow
I thought of my pain
Thinking of suicide
Again and again

I talked to the lord
as if he were there
hoping he gave a shit
but he didn't care

I had never chatted
to our god before
Suddenly I'm knocking
on heavens door

I hate religion
It's all just shit
I dunno why i'm doing this
it just might help a bit

I'm yapping away
10 to the dozen
my head is still splitting
gotta stop buzzin

I'm cross legged now
chatting my mind
scared of the answers
that I may find

I have been dancing with death
and that is just mad
but sometimes it stopped me
from feeling so sad

the lord has now gone
he's far far away
he didn't stop the thoughts
but helped keep them at bay

I need to get up
out of this gutter
swig from a bottle
then cough and splutter

I smashed the vodka
onto the street
not taking it lying down
not tasting defeat

I got my life back
got it back in line
gotta convince ppl
i'm doing fine

~The End~

10 Reasons - 1999

There are 10 reasons to live
10 not to cry
reasons for hanging on
to never say goodbye

for the love of a woman
or the love of life
keeping an eye open
for that perfect wife

for the thrill of the chase
that catch or the kill
ordering your take away
and not paying the bill

Going with your mates
for the taste of your beer
doing more than just drinking
365 days a year

The last one is here
right at the end
the curiosity
of what's round the bend

~The End~

Unforeseen Circumstances

####################
dedicated to Intrigue and
special thanks to her for
nameing it for me *S*
####################

Stumbling around
Inside my mind
wandering, pondering
like a drunk blind

staggering about
on this roller coaster ride
my consciousness slipping
to the wayside

It's dark and it's cold
Behind my gray eyes
I watch this vision
as it slowly
dies

it's about home and life
my troubles and strife
this trip into hell
to meet my dear wife

I observe this footage
from start to end
It's fucked up illusion
of what's round the bend

The vision turns foggy
unconscious, unseen
leaving an opening
for others to intervene.....

~The End~

Raven

I'm sitting here mellow
far far away
not scared of the darkness
or the bright sunny day

I have no anger, no pain
no hate or despair
with thoughts of my girlfriend
her long flowing black hair

sometimes i am amazed
at what my eyes see
logical pictures
make no sense to me

I see a vision
of my woman right there
I step forward to kiss her
taste only thin air

i know she was present
in mind if not body
a fragment of my imagination?
damn, it's fucked up & shoddy

I'm hating this torture
now inside my head
wishing my girllie
was aside me in bed.....

~The End~

Feelings

What is a kiss?
It's the touching of lips
The tingling of nerves
The tasting of tongues
But... what does it mean?

Does it always mean love?
Does it only mean lust?
Can it mean friendship?
What's all the fuss?

I understand...so what is a hug?
It's the pulling together of bodies
Curve meeting curve
Flesh on flesh or cloth on cloth
A special closeness,
Could be related to love

Does it always mean love?
Does it only mean lust?
Can it mean friendship?
What's all the fuss?

GOT IT!!!! So can u describe a cuddle?
It's a special closeness
Longer than a hug
Usually from a lover
Clean like a white dove......

~The End~

Trust

Something fuck u up
Something a little screwed
Wandering in the darkness
Confused by ur last feud

Were u in the wrong?
Were u in the right?
Should u’ve walked that girl
Alone on the dark night?

Sometime ppl kiss
Some times it means more
If you’ve got your girlfriend
Don’t open another’s door

Was it that kind of kiss?
Was it just as friends?
Will she kiss & tell
How easily the truth bends….

Nothing only happens
We must want it so
Next time your love’s challenged
Coolly just say ‘No”

For living without trust
Is like swallowing little knives
Sharp and jagged they go down
And hollow your inside……

~The End~

So Close - So Far

Your heads in a mess
You do not know what to do
Somehow it happened
This time it is true

She stood out like a goddess
In the center of the floor
Everyone noticing,
Wanting her more

She had a smile that melted
Even the coldest of hearts
She was so pure
No little tart

It starts off all simple
Nothing to deep
She's amused by your disruption
To her pattern of sleep.

And one thing follows on
From the previous step
Next thing your cuddling
kissing in depth

It's no longer simple
harder it has got
What can now happen?
What now cannot?

2 days have passed
You must go away
Forcing back tears
Not able to stay

It's a long journey home
It was worth the whole lot
Wondering pondering
At what you may have got.....

~The End~

The Lucy Collection

---------------------------------
"descending to darkness
where the lights do not go
dreaming of a body
to make me go woooo"
----------------------------------
My thought are always with u
My feeling always true
No matter what i'd doing
My heart belongs to u ~G~
----------------------------------
"sorrowing, sighing
pleasure & pain
drinking and driving
more bullshit again

as madness creep out
and reality in
you know you've fucked up
committed a sin

u claim absolution
u denounce the devil
u sober up
u even become CIVIL!"
----------------------------------
"I look for love deep within your eyes
My hands drop down to caress your thighs
I'm in your heart where your love lies
I'm in your heart where nothing dies"
----------------------------------
"Death Is in the doorway
My future not to bright
Sleeping with the enemy
Waking up in fright"

"Screaming out with anger
Towards my sorid past
Wishing peace and harmony
would only fucking last"

"Walking to the bathroom
To wash my sweaty face
Staring out the window
towards another place"
----------------------------------
"The imagination should be let run free
your emotions and feeling feel so close to me
unfortunately this is sometimes to hard to see
you have to throw in the towel and just let it be"
----------------------------------