Part One of Armageddon, Ali Style
*N Sync and BSB in: Armageddon-written by Ali
*N Sync and BSB are sitting around a table while a guy from NASA is telling them about an asteroid
that is heading straight for Earth.
NASA Guy: " The world's fate is in your hands guys, what do ya say?"
Brian: "All we have to do is sing?"
NASA Guy: "Yup, the mission specialists will do the rest."
JC: "Why us?"
He looks around the table at the other nine guys as they shake their heads in agreement with his
question.
Kevin: "Ya why us?"
NASA Guy: "Well guys, frankly speaking, no one in the world wants to. You our only hope. I'd go up
there with ya if I could, but I'm needed down here, plus I'm crippled."
Kevin: "We need to think about this."
The others shake their heads in agreement.
NASA Guy: "Sure guys, think about it, and think about your loved ones and how they will
all die if you choose not to help us. I'll be right outside here when you're ready."
As the door shuts, all ten of them start talking at once.
AJ: "Everyone shut up!"
The room grows silent.
JC: "The US government just asked us to save the world, anyone not up to it?"
Lance: "I've always dreamed of being an astronaut, I'm all about this mission."
Joey: "It'll make me one step closer to Superman status, I'm in, but will there be any
hot flight attendants on board?"
Justin: "Joey."
Joey: "What?"
Justin: "There are no flight attendants on the space shuttle."
Joey: "That sucks."
BSB shake their heads at Joey.
Joey: "What?"
He gets on the defensive.
JC: "Chris?"
Chris: "Whatever you think is right JC."
JC: "What about you guys?"
He directs his question to BSB
Kevin: "Well unlike you guys, we are going to discuss this more thoroughly."
JC: (shrugs) "Whatever."
Kevin: "OK, huddle guys."(They all move in towards Kevin) "What can we gain from this space
expedition?"
Brian: "Lots of media coverage."
AJ: "We'll be the heroes of the world."
Howie: "We get a few days off from doing shows."
Nick: "Our CD's and video sales will skyrocket, and all the little girls will love us forever
and we will have the number one spot on Total request Live named the BSB spot!"
Kevin: "Alright, we'll be the kings of the world, I say we go, all opposed? (No one opposes)
Good ,(they all put their hands on top of each other's) Ready? 1, 2, 3,….."
All: "BSB!!!!!"
They all turn back around and face *N Sync.
JC: "Well?"
Kevin: "We'll do it."
JC: "Ok great, now if we work together as a team we can do anything."
Everyone in BSB rolls their eyes, *N Sync is used to JC's corny words of inspiration.
Kevin: "Whatever, just tell the NASA guy we're in."
Lance: "I'll get him."
Lance gets up and walks out the door to find the guy. He spots him standing in front of a two way
mirror watching the guys. He has some sort of listening devise in his hands. The NASA guy sees Lance
and drops the listening device and acts casual.
Lance: "We're ready."
They walk into the room and Lance takes his seat.
NASA Guy: "So, have you gentlemen come to a decision?"
JC: "Yes."
NASA Guy: "And?"
Kevin: "And, we'll do it."
NASA Guy: "Great, I knew you guys wouldn't let me down."
Chris: "JC?" (In a muffled voice)
JC: "Oh ya, we have a few requests though."
NASA Guy: "Sure, what are they?"
JC: "Well, Lance wants his own personal Garth Brooks concert, ummm, Chris wants the worlds' largest
record collection, lets see, Justin wants a new Mercedes M Class…"
Justin: "I want it custom built, lotsa chrome, a phat new color, and no one can ever have one like it in the
world."
JC: "Ummm what did you want Joey?"
Joey: "Well I want a penthouse in Metropolis above the Daily Planet."
NASA Guy: "Son, there is no such place as Metropolis."
Joey: "There's not?" (All sad, and confused)
Chris: "It's ok Joey, it's ok."
Joey: "Well could I live with Christopher Reeves for a while then?"
NASA Guy: "We'll see what we can do."
JC: "That's it basically."
NASA Guy: "What about you guys?" (To BSB)
Kevin: "We want EuroDisney to be renamed to BSB Land, kinda like
Dollywood, only bigger and better. We have to give back to our loyal
European fans,"
NASA Guy: "Ok,…" (he looks at JC) "Don't you want anything?"
JC: "No, I'm all set, I just want to to serve my country."
Kevin: "Thank you Captain America."(In a flat out sarcastic tone)
Joey: "Leave him alone man, or I'll have to get all Superman-like on your ass!"
AJ: "Are you going to wear the little tights and cape too?"
All of BSB snickers, the two boy bands start verbally abusing each other from across each side of the
table.
Chris to Howie: "BSB Land? What kinda crap is that?"
Howie: "What ever Record Boy."
Nick to Justin: "I suppose you want your space suit to be freakin' baby blue right?"
Justin: "You know it fool, I read your little book there, 'The Heart and Soul of Nick Carter,'(he clutches his
chest sarcastically as he says it) very touching, it brought a tear to my eye."
The two groups bicker back and forth.
NASA Guy: "Fellas, we have seven days till, what could be, the end of the world. Could we get along please?!"
(They all quiet down) "We'll work on those requests if you work on becoming a team, ok?"
They all shake their heads yes.
Days later:
NASA Guy: "Ok, so you'll take off from Cape Canaveral tomorrow afternoon. You'll dock
at the space station to get fuel, then head for the rock after you go around the moon,
does everyone understand so far? Ok then when you land, the mission specialists will
drill the hole while you warm up your voices. When the hole is dug, you'll sing in the
highest octive that you can reach, record it on this high tech tape recorder, drop the recorder
in the hole, fly away, and remote detonate the recorder. The recording will be so loud it
will cause a fracture in the asteroid causing it to split apart. You come home, and become
heroes. Any questions?"
Howie: "Why do we need to go up there in the first place? Why can't we record it right here, and send it up
with the mission specialists?"
NASA Guy: "At NASA we double up on everything, Something could go wrong with the recording, the
tape could get eaten, and that would be the end, having you guys up there cancels out a lot of
the problems that could happen." "We have a big day tomorrow guys, see ya then.'
He leaves the room, and the two groups branch off as usual.
Chris: "Hey we need to get off this compound tonight. I'll go crazy if we have to be locked up here."
Justin: "Ya me too, I need to play some bball man."
Joey: "I need to rip up some dance floor or I'll bust!"
JC: "I just wanna sleep."
Lance: "I love it here, I wanna move in!"
Joey: "Of course you do, ya space cadet." (Jokingly)
JC: "I'll ask if Backstreet has the same notion."
JC walks over to BSB who are talking amongst themselves.
JC: "We've been talking, and we all wanna get the hell out of here for the night, what do you
guys think?"
Brian: "Definitely. I need outta here!"
AJ: "Me too."
Kevin to JC: "OK, lets go tell the NASA Guy."
The two walk out the door and find the NASA guy drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette.
NASA Guy: "Hey guys, what's up? You're not backing out on us, right?"
Kevin: "No, we're not."
NASA Guy: "just checkin, want one?" (He nods towards his cigarettes)
JC: "No, it's bad for the image."
Kevin: "Ya, it's in our contract I think."
NASA Guy: "Oh ok, so what's up?"
Kevin: "We've all of us have been talking and we need to get out of this place for the night. We're all
going nuts."
NASA Guy: "No way guys, sorry but that's too risky."
JC: "Well that wasn't exactly a request. We are not spending the night here; we are all going stir crazy,
keeping us here will jeopardize the mission."
NASA Guy: "I guess you give me no choice than."
With that, the guys were free men. Joey flew to his house to change into his clubbin clothes. He puts on
a Superman tee shirt, a weird pair of pants, and his famous 'Elmo' jacket. Justin is home changing into a
new baby blue outfit, kisses his Mom and little brother goodbye as he hops into JCs' Jeep. They pick Chris up and head for the Club where they are meeting up with Joey and Lance. They pull up in Joey's Acura and then all head to the club. Justin stops as they walk up to the door.
Justin: "Wait, hold up guys, how am I supposed to get in?"
JC flashes an id.
JC: "I had those NASA guys make this up for you, you'll be all set."
Justin: "Cool."
They walk into the club and start mingling.
Lance to Justin: "Look there's BSB over there."
JC: "Let's go and buy them a drink."
They walk to the back corner where BSB is sitting. JC and Kevin shake hands.
JC: "What's up?"
Kevin: "Not much, just cuttin loose."
AJ to Joey: "Hey man, lets cut up some dance floor."
Joey: "Now you're talkin'."
They head to the dance floor and bust a move. JC sits down at the table.
Justin to Nick: "Let's go round up some shorties at the bar."
Nick agrees and they head towards the bar.
JC: "Justin, only soda you hear?"
Justin: "Man!"
Kevin: " You too Nicki."
Nick: "You guys are no fun."
Chris: "Hey Howie, lets join Joey and AJ."
Howie: "Sure, they're nothin with out us."
Lance, Brian, Kevin and JC are sitting at the table watching the other four dance, and the little ones
picking up girls.
Lance: "This time tomorrow, we're going to be weightless and hovering millions of miles above Earth!"
Brain: "Don't remind me, my heart can't take it."
JC: "Oh yeah, are you going to be ok up there?'
Brian: "Ya, I'll be ok, they are going to pack oxygen tanks for me just in case, but I should be fine."
The boys are all relaxing and enjoying themselves when all of a sudden they hear a loud stampeding
noise outside. Before anyone knew what to make of the noise, the doors to the club bursts open and
swarms of teen age girls flock in.
Brian: "Awww shit guys…RUN!!!!!"
Justin and Nick drop their drinks and run toward the back.
Nick: "The back door's this way, come on!"
The guards are doing their best to keep the girls back, but there are just too many to handle.
JC: "Joey, Chris, come on!"
Joey: "We're tryin!"
Joey has a fan attached to his leg and another jumps on his back. Chris takes off one of his shoes and
throws it to the other side of the dance floor. The girls that were on him ran toward the shoe hoping to
get a piece of Chris Kirkpatrick for their collections. As the girls fight over the shoe, Chris makes a
run for the back door.
AJ and Howie are swarmed with fans too.
Chris to the other three: "Take something off, and throw it!"
AJ takes off his sunglasses, throws them, and then makes a run for it. Howie pulls the elastic from his hair
and runs for the back door.
Chris: "Joey, take off your jacket and run man, for God sakes!"
Joey: "Save yourselves! Get outta here quick!"
JC: "Damn it Joey, loose the jacket!"
Joey doesn't know what to do.
Joey: "Man this is my favorite one, it's so soft and furry. Hey watch where you're grabbin' girls!"
Justin: "J O E Y!!!! Come on man!!!!"
Joey: "Aww hell."
He drops the coat from his shoulders, but his arms get stuck. He's trying to run while the girls are pulling
him and the jacket back. Finally his arms come loose and he falls flat on his face.
JC: "Run asshole run!!!!"
Joey gets on his feet and makes it out the door to join the rest of the guys outside in an alley.
Nick: "Sweet, there's the parking lot."
Kevin: "To the cars, quick before they find us!"
All ten run to the parking lot and get in their cars.
Justin: "To my house guys!" he yells, hanging out of JCs' Jeep as they speed off.
Lance: "Joey quick, open the car!"
Joey: "I can't find my keys! Shit they're in my jacket pocket!"
Lance: "Fuck! What are we going to do? JC's gone already, and so is BSB, (he pauses) I hear the girls,
they're getting closer!"
Joey: "Aww man, this night sucks!"
With that he kicks in his back window, pushes the glass out of the way and unlocks his door while his
alarm blares.
Lance: "Turn the alarm off Joey!"
Joey: "I can't, Dip Shit, the remote's in the club."
He unlocks Lance's door. Lance hops in as Joey is hot-wiring his Acura. The car starts and they speed
away just as the swarm of girls turn the corner.
Lance: "How'd you learn to hot-wire Joey?"
Joey: "Are you kidding me? Lance, I grew up in Brooklyn."
Lance: "Oh ya, I forgot."
Joey: "Damn alarm."
He fumbles around under the dash and pulls a bunch of wires out. The noise stops.
Lance: "That's gonna cost ya!"
Joey: "Ya think?"
They pull into Justin's driveway and park behind the Mercedes.
Justin: "Damn Joey, what happened to your car?"
Joey: "You guys suck! First you make me leave my phat ass Elmo jacket behind to be ripped to shreds
by teenyboppers, then I had to kick my window in, cause my keys are in the jacket, then I have to
hot-wire my ride, and then rip out my new alarm system. (Angry and out of breath).
Chris: "Thank God we don't have to see that shag carpet of a jacket anymore!"
Justin: "Yeah man." (Gives Chris a high five)
AJ: "I liked that jacket man, it was dope."
JC: "We should get some sleep now before it's time to go back to Kennedy Space Center."
Kevin: "Good idea JC."
Justin: "What-eva man, come on guys, let's go play some pool in my house."
Chris: "Did I leave my orange FUBU jersey in my old room by any chance?"
Justin: "No."
Chris: "Damn, can't find it anywhere."
Justin leads the guys to the house.
Justin: "Keep your voices down cause my baby brother's sleepin, and oh, take your shoes off or my
mom will have my head."
They all disappear inside leaving Joey in the driveway crying and mourning the loss of his jacket,
window, and alarm
end of part one
Take Me Home!
Part Two of Armageddon, Ali Style
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