We knew coming in that this tournament was wide open, and between the upsets
and near upsets and other surprises, Round One certainly lived up to its
prediction. We had some favorites go down in the first round, but one man
made himself the unquestioned favorite after a dominating performance in the
first round.
| Will Ferrell sweeps
Macho Man. In what is believed to be the most lopsided
victory in Online Halloween Foosball Tournament history, Will Ferrell
received 13 votes while not having one person vote against him. While Macho
Man had his day, and his new rap songs may feature some ill rhymes, Ferrell
has now established himself as the #1 contender in the battle for the
Celebrity Halloween Foosball Championship. |
|
Will Ferrell vs. "Macho
Man" Randy Savage
Total votes 13 |
| Will
Ferrell (13) |
100% |
 |
| Randy
Savage (0) |
0% |
|
|
| SHAK-ING UPSET!:
Shakira upends Vince Vaughn: Vince
Vaughn may not have been the biggest name competitor in the tournament, most
expected after his hilarious performance in Old School that he would easily
advance to face his Old School co-star in the second round. It didn't
happen. Greg Ouellette set the tone early in voting for Shakira, and
promised she would pull off the upset of the first round. That she
did, but whether or not she can tango past Ferrell in round 2 figures to be
a whole other story. |
|
Vince Vaughn vs. Shakira
Total votes 13 |
| Vince
Vaughn (5) |
38% |
|
| Shakira
(8) |
62% |
 |
|
| "Useless" Prevails over
"Brain Dead": David Ortiz was a little more popular with
the fans and also had been on quite a hot streak, so a 9-4 victory over
Grady Little was just about what was to be expected. A key thing to
look at is how his post-season performance affects the voting. Ortiz went 0
for 16 before coming through with arguably the biggest hit of the series in
Game Four. |
|
David "Useless" Ortiz vs.
Grady "B.D." Little
Total votes 13 |
| David
Ortiz (9) |
69% |
|
| Grady
Little (4) |
31% |
|
|
| The Legendary Jack
moves on: Only a few select people truly deserve the
distinction of being called "Legendary," but Jack Parker is definitely the
most worthy candidate this side of Chuck. The man has won more than 4
times as many Beanpots as Northeastern has in the school's entire
history....and thats just as a Coach. The win over one of the American
Idol winners is nice, but its going to be a tough road for Coach Parker to
win it all. |
|
Legendary Coach Jack
Parker vs. Ruben Studdard
Total votes 13 |
| Jack
Parker (9) |
69% |
|
| Ruben
Studdard (4) |
31% |
|
|
| Jim's Dad pulls off the
Duel of the Dads at the last moment: This was easily the
most hotly contested match up of the first round. With the exception
of perhaps Greg, everyone considered this the toughest call, and in the end
it was Corey Pinkham, the 13th voter, who put Jim's Dad back on top for the
final tally. It wasn't easy for him however, and at one point, the
Prince of Darkness held a 3 point advantage. Jim's Dad's victory sets
up the intriguing American Pie matchup in round 2. |
|
Eugene Levy (aka Jim's
Dad) vs. Ozzy Osbourne
Total votes 13 |
| Eugene
Levy (7) |
54% |
|
| Ozzy
Osbourne (6) |
46% |
|
|
| Stifler raps up easy
victory over John Cena: Sure Cena may be from West Newbury,
and his raps may be some of the funniest parts of a Smackdown! telecast, but
if the polls show anything they show that the voters aren't fans of rapping
wrestlers this year. Stifler will face now face Jim's Dad in an
American Pie dream match up. The two funniest guys in those movies
will collide in Round 2. |
|
John Cena vs. Sean
William Scott
Total votes 13 |
| John Cena
(3) |
23% |
|
| Sean
William Scott (10) |
77% |
|
|
| Lawyer Milloy?
This may have been more shocking than Shakira's victory. Lawyer
Milloy, the Buffalo Bills strong safety, defeated Jay from Jay & Silent Bob.
I can't even begin to discuss this. Its just too shocking, and begs
the question, what were these people thinking? |
|
Lawyer Milloy vs. Jason
Mewes
Total votes 13 |
| Lawyer
Milloy (7) |
54% |
|
| Jason
Mewes (6) |
46% |
|
|
| Silent Bob advances
without his hetero-life mate: Kevin Smith beat Christina Aguliera
in a match that was closer than many thought. His victory should have
set up a great matchup pitting Jay vs. Silent Bob. Instead its Silent
Bob vs. Lawyer Milloy for no apparent reason. |
|
Kevin Smith vs. Christina
Aguilera
Total votes 13 |
| Kevin
Smith (8) |
62% |
|
| Christina
Aguilera (5) |
38% |
|
|
| Al Pacino kills Mitt
Romney: The star of Scarface received more votes than
anybody else besides Will Ferrell, but it wasn't a surprise because 1. Al
Pacino's the Best, and more importantly 2. Mitt Romney sucks. Both of
Romney's votes came from the UMass Amherst campus. Of course after
looking at how they "celebrate" it is now apparent that those people are
just plain stupid. In any event, Mitt Romney learned that if you're
fucking with Pacino, you're fucking with the best! |
|
Al Pacino vs. Mitt Romney
Total votes 13 |
| Al Pacino
(11) |
85% |
|
| Mitt
Romney (2) |
15% |
|
|
| Lebron James is the
most over-hyped teenager: That's apparently what the voters
feel as 18 year old basketball star Lebron beat 14 year golf phenom Michelle
in one of five first round matches decided by a single vote. |
|
Michelle Wie vs. LeBron
James
Total votes 13 |
| Michelle
Wie (6) |
46% |
|
| LeBron
James (7) |
54% |
|
|
| This is what dreams are
made of: Hilary Duff, who is younger than any of the HFT winners,
became one of only five Celebrity Tournament competitors to get double digit
votes. She beat Ramiro Mendoza, the MVP of the Yankees this year.
The star of Lizzie McGuire and On the Bus moves on to the second round.
Can she go all the way? You never know. |
|
Hilary Duff vs. Ramiro
Mendoza
Total votes 13 |
| Hilary
Duff (10) |
77% |
|
| Ramiro
Mendoza (3) |
23% |
|
|
| Tomb Raider defeats
herself: Lara Croft, the video game Tomb Raider defeated
Angelina Jolie, the movie Tomb Raider in one of the more interesting first
round matchups. Jolie, who was once married to one of the Red Sox
pitchers (although he doesn't quite look like it now that he's bald) lost
even though Joe Glaude didn't vote. |
|
Angelina Jolie vs. Lara
Croft
Total votes 13 |
| Angelina
Jolie (5) |
38% |
|
| Lara Croft
(8) |
62% |
|
|
| Battle of Bobs goes to
the Italian: Some called this an upset! Bob Barker
certainly is worthy of joining Jack Parker and Al Pacino on the list of
legends, but come on, Robert Deniro was in Goodfellas. This was
another tough call for the voters, and Deniro won by only a single vote. |
|
Robert DeNiro vs. Bob
Barker
Total votes 13 |
| Robert
DeNiro (7) |
54% |
|
| Bob Barker
(6) |
46% |
|
|
| Kerry wins the VHFT
primary: Senator John F. Kerry used his home field advantage to
defeat former Vermont Governor, Dr. Howard Dean in the first head to head
politician matchup of the Celebrity Tournament since Bill Clinton beat
George W. Bush in the 3rd round of 2001. Rumors that Dean is a Yankee
fan certainly hurt him. |
|
Senator John F. Kerry vs.
Dr. Howard Dean
Total votes 13 |
| John Kerry
(10) |
77% |
|
| Howard
Dean (3) |
23% |
|
|
| Another shocking upset:
Catherine Zeta-Jones mounted herself a rally monkey to come from behind
and beat Joe Pantoliano. It appeared that Joey Pants was headed
to the second round, but all of a sudden, Zeta-Jones took the lead on the
final voter. This is arguably more shocking than Shakira over Vince Vaughn. |
|
Catherina Zeta Jones vs.
Joe Pantoliano
Total votes 13 |
| Catherine
Zeta Jones (7) |
54% |
|
| Joe
Pantoliano (6) |
46% |
|
|
| Berman wins broadcast
battle: After listening to the ALDS, it would be unanimous that
everyone wants Jerry Remy back for the announcing, because the Fox and ESPN
announcers who were calling the games absolutely sucked. Its too bad
Berman is a football guy first. But in the end the voters sided with
Boomer, as Remy will be soon gone for the off season (not until November of
course) while Berman will continue to be the man on Sunday mornings. Now he
has to face the suddenly formidable Catherine Zeta Jone, but he could go all
the way you know. |
|
Chris Berman vs. Jerry
Remy
Total votes 13 |
| Chris
Berman (7) |
54% |
|
| Jerry Remy
(6) |
46% |
|
|
