When You Love Someone
by Gail (gem225@hotmail.com)
JAG
Clayton Webb/Clark Palmer
Rating: adult
Clay shows Clark what he can't yet say.
Eclipse Snapshot #31
Disclaimer: If they were mine, I'd be a lot happier, but they're not.
Please do not archive this story without asking me first. It's more than likely that I'll agree, but I want to know where my stories are.
Thanks to Elizabeth and Tinnean for encouragement and wonderful betas.
Response to Blow It With Feeling challenge, Emotion: love.
Happy belated birthday (1/7/04) to Tinnean, my chere amie!
*****
It's been a long, long day, filled with meetings and stupid questions and stupider comments, and I'm glad to be home with Clark.
He heads right for the kitchen as soon as he gets in the door. "You hungry?" He opens the refrigerator door and takes out a container. "I think there's enough roast beef for a sandwich each." He pries off the lid, looks inside, and brings it up to his face, probably to sniff it. He's nothing if not thorough. "Enough for one sandwich. Maybe."
I smile. Clark likes meat and piles it on when he makes sandwiches. I'm pretty sure that if I were the one looking in the container I'd say there was enough for both of us, but that's fine.
"I'm not hungry now. You have a sandwich if you want."
He snaps the lid back on and shoves the container back into the refrigerator. "I'll wait. When you're ready to eat, let me know. I'll pick something up. Chinese sound good?"
He's not going anywhere tonight. He's as tired as I am.
"Some places deliver, Clark."
He gives me a look. "Yeah, I know that, but do you want some stranger coming here?"
I give him a look of my own. "Clark. Paranoia is not a good look on you."
"You like it on Mulder."
That show again. "I wouldn't say that."
"So you like me better than Mulder."
"Of course." There's no contest. "I'm going to get out of this suit. How about you?"
His eyes light up. "Good idea."
I follow him to the bedroom and let myself grin. I knew he'd go for that. Clark doesn't like wearing a suit any longer than he has to, and he doesn't like me wearing a suit any longer than I have to, especially if he can help me get out of it.
Sure enough, when I walk in, he's got his hands stretched out.
"Give me your jacket. I'll hang it up."
"I can get out of my own clothes, thank you. Why don't you get out of yours?" I may not be hungry for dinner, but I'm hungry for him.
"That an offer?" He peels off his jacket, tosses it on a chair, yanks off his tie, throws it on top of the jacket, and starts on his shirt buttons.
"Yes." I keep taking off my clothes as I talk, putting them on the chair with Clark's. "If you're interested."
"Damn right I'm interested. Those morons today - " He throws his shirt across the room and kicks off his shoes. "Have any of them ever been in the field?"
Not many of them. "We're home. Let that go."
"They're fucking idiots. They'd go down in a minute if they left their precious offices in Langley."
I don't say anything. What can I say? I know that he's frustrated, and I know that there's little I can do about that. I don't have the authority to assign him a mission, and no matter how hard I try to convince other people that he should be assigned one, they keep bringing up that he's DSD, and there's only so much I can push before I start looking insane.
He scrubs his hands over his face and turns away, and I almost don't catch what he says next. "Hate it there."
"Clark." I get my arms around him. He's whipcord-thin and warm against me. "I know you do."
"Should just shut the fuck up," he mutters. "It's a job. Doesn't matter."
Of course it matters. Clark takes things seriously, like I do. Tomorrow I'll start the rounds again. So I look insane. It's not like it'll be the first time, and when he comes back, having taken care of whatever they give him quicker and better than anyone ever has, I'll look a damned sight less insane.
But now, Clark's upset, and I won't have that if I can help it.
I tighten my hold on him, and he sighs.
"I know better than this. O.K." He pulls out of my hold. "So Chinese. You want it or not?"
I can't see his face, but I know that he's pushed his feelings aside and is playing fine for me. I don't want him to play fine. I want him to be fine.
I let go of him, then step back. "Chinese is fine with me. Why aren't you out of your pants yet?"
"Right." I can hear the smile in his voice. He's closer to being fine now that he thinks he's convinced me he is. "You strip too. Never knew anyone so methodical about getting his clothes off."
"I like being able to wear them again."
"Yeah, yeah. You like teasing me. That's all it is."
"You may have a point there."
"Thought so."
His pants drop to the floor, and he steps out of them, then bends over to pull off his socks. I feel my cock jump. Clark's ass is hard to resist. I could take two steps and cup his ass in my hands, and he'd brace himself against the bed and spread his legs for me to fuck him without me saying a word. But instead I get out of my shoes and pants and socks, then take those two steps and sink to my knees.
"Clark."
He turns around, and his eyes widen. "Come on, Clay, don't get on your knees for me. You don't have to. I'll - " He gasps when I press my palms to his sides. "I'll do anything for you."
I slide my hands over his belly and down to his hips. "I know, but I want to." I kiss the head of his cock, and he draws a long, shaky breath and shuts up.
Yes, I do want to. I want to show him that he's more important to me than Harm ever was, that I'm glad that he blackmailed me into bed, that I want him in my life for all the years we have left, that I'd kill anyone who threatened him - that I love him.
I love him.
I swallow his shaft in one long motion, and he moans.
"Clay, please, oh god, yes, please...."
I won't stop. I'll give him what he wants. That's what you do when you love someone - you give them anything, everything, always.
I hold his hips hard and suck harder. He moans again and thrusts into my mouth, and comes almost right away. I swallow and don't let go of him. I want to keep him there. I want to keep him with me.
I love you, Clark. I hope you know that. I can't tell you yet, and I'm not sure why. Give me time, and I will.
But until then, I'll keep showing you.
The End
Posted 1/18/04
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