Reaching equilibrium

by Gail (gem225@hotmail.com)

JAG

Clayton Webb/AJ Chegwidden, Clayton Webb/Ryan Devlin (original character), Ryan Devlin/Lindsey Evans (Isilzha's original character, used by permission)

Rating: adult

Clayton Webb takes a stand with AJ Chegwidden.

Fourth in the Joint Venture series (An Italian affair, Night at the admiral's, Sydney-side) and the sequel to Sydney-side.

Disclaimer: Neither Clayton Webb nor AJ Chegwidden nor Harmon Rabb belong to me. Ryan Devlin belongs to me. Lindsey Evans is Isilzha's character, but she told me before she died that I could borrow him.

Please do not archive this story without asking me first. It's more than likely that I'll agree, but I want to know where my stories are.

Warning: an erotic and consensual spanking scene.

Spoilers: Soul Searching, Legacy, both parts, and little ones for other Webb episodes.

There's a part in this that's specifically for Tinnean, but that's a secret between us. :-) Happy birthday (for two birthdays now *g*) (1/7/2002). It's also Scarlet's belated Christmas present.

For those who like fitting stories into timelines, this story would take place sometime after the JAG episode Legacy, but before Valor, both sixth season episodes.

This story turned into a monster and has devoured considerable time over the last year. I needed all the help I could get to finish it, and I had considerable and wonderful help. Thanks to Isilzha for letting me use her dear Lindsey Evans, for sending me feedback for An Italian affair when I really needed it, and for reading this one in draft over and over and always wanting more; to Brenda, who also read it in draft and wanted more; to Mandy, who commented with knowledge and enthusiasm and encouraged me to keep going even though it wasn't Eclipse *g*; to Tinnean for being willing to read and even reread anything; to Page for her message to BaldHeaven with praise for me *blush* and her offer to post it there; and to Lyrica for her enthusiasm for this pairing and general thingness, to quote Bertie Wooster. Elizabeth's enthusiasm for the wonderful Captain Pellew (Horatio Hornblower) renewed my interest in AJ and got me writing this again when I thought I wouldn't be able to finish it, and I thank her.

Thanks to Scarlet and Elizabeth for their betas, to JiM for her read-through, and to Tinnean for all the times she's read this story.

*****

What was going on with Webb? AJ stared at the other man. Webb had updated Rabb and AJ on the situation with Rabb's half-brother, and even though Rabb had thanked him and been dismissed, Webb was standing very still, staring at the wall of AJ's office, which didn't have anything to recommend it as far as AJ could see. He didn't mind having Webb there, but he was curious about the reason for his unusual preoccupation.

"Clay." The CIA agent didn't move. AJ came around his desk to touch his shoulder. "Clay."

At that, Webb turned. "Oh. AJ." He shook his head, then met AJ's eyes with his usual cool composure. "I was thinking about work."

"Anything I can help you with?" The door was closed, and they were friends.

"No." Webb gave him a half-smile. "I need to get back to the Company and get some done."

AJ wasn't going to let him leave without bringing up one matter. "Not so fast, Webb. You and I have some unfinished business."

Webb gave him a wary look at the note of steel in his voice, but stayed where he was. "Is that so, admiral? And what might that be?"

AJ let himself smile. "You owe me dinner from Australia." He reached into his desk and pulled out a piece of paper. "Here's what I want."

Webb's eyes scanned the short menu, then flicked up to meet AJ's. "I was expecting something a little more challenging than crawfish etouffee."

"It's what I want." He enjoyed spicy food, as did Clay. "I know you can make it, but what I want to find out is if you can make it well."

Clay gave him a look of disbelief at that, and AJ laughed quietly. Clay was going to outdo himself this time. "Very well. When did you want it?"

"Tonight."

"That's not in our deal." Clay was smiling, so AJ knew he wasn't offended by the suggestion. "Two days, I said."

"Friday, then." AJ had figured it wouldn't be possible on such short notice, but he'd wanted to try. It had been too long since he and Clay had spent any time together.

"I've got a date on Friday." Clay suddenly looked awkward. "Saturday?"

Clay had a date. AJ felt a flash of something that was too damned close to jealousy to be comfortable. No, he wasn't going there. Clay had a right to whatever life and women he chose. "Saturday's fine. Where did you meet this woman?" He hoped his voice sounded the way he wanted to, pleased and only mildly curious.

Clay's eyes weren't on his as he answered. "He works with me at the Company."

He. Clayton was seeing a man Friday night. AJ stared at the other man, who now was looking at him. "Oh."

"It's easier to see men right now, and Ryan's a nice guy. Women still bring out that image of Teresa Marcello."

"Of course." AJ made himself smile. Clay deserved happiness, even if it was with some CIA prick named Ryan. He didn't let himself think about why he immediately assumed the worst about this man. "But you do owe me that dinner, and I'm not going to let you out of it."

Clay chuckled. "I'm not trying to get out of making you dinner. It'll be the best etouffee you've ever had. When do you want me over on Saturday?"

"Afternoon sometime. It's up to you."

"I'll call before I come over. And AJ, thanks for being all right with this."

There was something in Clay's eyes that AJ couldn't read. Did Clay want him to protest? No, Clayton Webb was a spy, but he didn't play games with his friends, and AJ knew he was Clay's friend. Maybe it was just a touch of embarrassment at admitting to AJ he was seeing a man. It couldn't be easy for Clay.

"I'm not thrilled about waiting an extra day for my dinner, so if for some reason you end up being free Friday, let me know."

Clay smiled, and the something was gone. "I will."

But you don't think you will be, AJ thought to himself. That smile was a confident one. Good. Clay should feel confident. He was an attractive and intelligent man who deserved women and men pursuing him, and it looked as though he were getting that.

"What about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

The question shouldn't have been a surprise, but was. "No one now," AJ said evenly. "What, you don't keep track?"

Clay's look was surprised. "I would never do that to you."

Shit. Now he'd insulted Clay. "A joke." With relief he saw his friend's expression clear. "Get out of here and let me work."

"You work here?" Clay's look was mischievous. "Really? When do you find the time?"

"Out, Webb," he mock-growled with a glare that made Clay laugh the more as he grabbed his overcoat and briefcase.

"Certainly, admiral. Or should I say 'aye, aye'?"

Clay opened the door and was out, and AJ shook his head at his friend's humor, then sat down. He did have work to do, and it was on that damned computer. At least he had a screensaver that wasn't a bulldog barking. He moved the mouse and clicked, bringing up the file he needed, and made himself think about that instead of Clayton Webb.

*****

Clayton Webb drove back to Langley, his thoughts spinning. Why had he lied about his date with Ryan? It made no sense, except that in an insane way it did. Was he stupid enough to think that he could get AJ Chegwidden jealous? That damned well wasn't going to happen.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, then made himself stop. It wasn't really a lie. Ryan was sure as hell interested, but the reason they were going out for a drink was so that Clayton could make him see that nothing was going to happen. None of his hints had worked. Ryan was like a cute puppy dog, following him around, bringing him coffee, and asking him out to lunch and dinner.

He sighed. Maybe he should take the kid to bed and see if that would get it out of Ryan's system eventually. It would be safe enough, and Ryan was nice. It wouldn't be that hard to have such a cute guy in his bed. He'd think about it. It wasn't like AJ was interested. No, he corrected himself, it wasn't like AJ would *let* himself be interested.

He knew damned well he could get AJ hard and wanting him; he'd proven that in Australia. The thought of that time made him smile. Those nights of sleeping together with sex thrown in had been great, but all the time Clay had known that it wouldn't continue back in D.C., and he'd been right. As soon as they got back, AJ had withdrawn, and he'd done the same out of necessity. The work was always there and took almost all of his time, and he had to make his own life. AJ was always going to be a friend, but the last thing their friendship needed was to have this kind of strain put on it, and as far as Clay could tell, AJ wasn't interested in sex from him.

By the time he parked in his spot at Langley, his mind was made up. Ryan was going to get lucky, if he gave off the right signs, and there was no reason to think that he'd changed his mind. He didn't owe AJ Chegwidden anything more than what friendship required.

On his way back up to his office, he made sure to stop by Ryan's desk. "Hi," he said as soon as Ryan's blond head turned toward his. "How's it going?"

"Great," Ryan said eagerly. "Did you need something, Clay, I mean, Webb?"

Clay smiled at him. Poor kid. Just a few years out of college, and it showed. "Just checking we were still on for Friday," he said quietly, leaning over as though he were looking at something on the screen. That brought him closer to Ryan, not a bad thing. He could smell the young man's aftershave, as well as what had to be his own scent, and he found himself getting hard. Maybe this was a better idea than he'd thought.

"Sure." Ryan's eyes were huge. "Whatever you want."

"Whatever I want," Clay murmured and couldn't resist. Why the hell should he wait until Friday? "Then I want to have that drink tonight. Seven work for you?"

He could hear Ryan's breaths come more rapidly, and a flush was spreading over the other man's face. "Sure. Um, where do you want to meet?"

"I like the Green Room." He wondered if Ryan would know that he was naming a discreet gay bar, then dismissed the thought. He'd find out soon enough. "You mind meeting me there?"

Ryan wet his lips before he spoke. "No, but I might need a ride home. I don't drink that well."

"Don't worry, Ryan. I'll make sure you're taken care of." He saw the eager light come back to Ryan's eyes. Oh, yes, the man wanted him, and to tell the truth, it was good to see that. Good to be wanted. "I'll make sure you don't drink that much." He left the rest unspoken and saw Ryan wet his lips again.

"I'd like that." Ryan looked straight at him. "I really would, Clay."

Clay straightened. Yes, the message had been received and understood. "I'll see you at seven."

"O.K." Ryan flashed him another smile and handed him a file. "I got that data analyzed for you."

"Thank you," Clay said with some surprise. "Fast work." He hadn't expected Ryan to be done with that until later in the day.

Ryan looked down as he answered. "Well, it was for you."

Just like a puppy. But that was all right. Ryan would relax once they were out of the Company. He'd make sure of that.

"I really needed that information," he said, softly again, and saw Ryan's head come up. "Remind me to reward you for it tonight." He was taking a chance here, but he thought it would work.

Ryan gulped. "Reward me?" His voice was a whisper.

"We can talk about the specifics later," Clay said smoothly. Yes, this could be a lot of fun, he thought as Ryan simply stared. "Seven. You know where the Green Room is?"

"Yeah. I went there once. Should be more fun with you." Ryan finally got out a smile and turned back to his monitor.

Clay smiled in genuine amusement. So the kid had been around a little. Good. He headed back to his office and the work waiting there.

*****

AJ found it harder and harder to concentrate as the afternoon wore on. He kept trying to imagine this Ryan who was going out with Clay. Maybe he should see about finding out more about this man. And how could he do that? Try and get something out of the CIA without Clay knowing? It was none of his business, he told himself firmly, then heard a knock on his door.

"Enter," he snapped, and watched as Rabb entered.

"Sir, I was wondering if it would be all right if I took some time and went over to Langley to check something about my brother with Webb." Rabb looked apologetic, but determined. Nothing new there.

"Webb was just here," AJ said slowly. "Why didn't you ask him then?"

Now Rabb looked sheepish. "I forgot."

AJ made up his mind. "Very well, Commander, but make it fast."

"Yes, sir."

"And I need you to do something for me while you're there. I want you to find a CIA employee by the name of Ryan. I don't know his last name, but he is at Langley and works with Webb."

"I'll ask Webb - "

"No. You are not to let Webb know that you are looking for this man."

"But - yes, sir!" Rabb snapped to attention, still looking confused. Too bad for Rabb.

"I need a complete description of him," AJ decided to add.

"Yes, sir," Rabb repeated.

"Report to me as soon as you return. Dismissed."

"Aye, aye, sir."

He watched Rabb exit, then sighed. Fine world where he was asking one of his subordinates to spy on a spy, but it was better than going over there himself. Rabb ought to be able to handle it on his own.

*****

Clay looked up at the knock on the door and grimaced. "What is it this time, Rabb?"

"I forgot to ask a couple of questions about my brother."

"All right, let's have them."

He gestured to Rabb to take a seat. The easiest way to get rid of Rabb was to give him what he wanted, and it wasn't a problem to give him a few answers about his brother. Anything that kept Rabb safely in the United States was a good thing. There were agents all over the world who'd back him on that one, Sokol in Moscow the primary one. When he'd told Sokol that Rabb intended to fly to Chechnya to locate his half-brother, that was when he started getting answers. He smiled to himself. He'd have to remember that threat. Getting Sokol to talk could be a very good thing.

He listened to the questions, which were reasonable and easily answered, quite a change for Rabb, then stood. If he didn't get back to work soon, he'd end up needing to stay longer than he'd planned and risk being late to meet Ryan, and there was no way in hell that he was going to do that. Rabb was going to have to get out.

"Thanks, Clay. I owe you." Rabb was smiling.

"You always owe me," he returned dryly. "Pay me back for this one by staying in the courtroom and out of trouble for a while."

Rabb got to his feet and shrugged. "Can't promise anything, Webb. Things happen."

"I've noticed," Clay said, even more dryly. "You can find your way out?"

"I'll manage. Enjoy your afternoon of spook stuff," Rabb said with a grin.

Clay saw him leave with relief, shaking his head at the lame joke, then picked up his mug. Out of coffee. He'd get some more, then get back to work.

As soon as he got out of his door, he saw Rabb scanning the list of employees pinned on the wall, then Rabb straightened and started walking around the large area of desks and people. What the hell was he doing still there? Looking around, clearly, and for someone. Who would Harmon Rabb be looking for at Langley, and why hadn't he asked him for help? Because Rabb didn't want him to know. Rabb was an idiot to think he could sneak around in Webb's territory, but then Rabb had his blind spots.

Clay kept out of sight and watched Rabb stop near Ryan's desk after scanning Ryan's nameplate. What would a JAG officer want from Ryan? Was Ryan in some kind of trouble? Or could he have information that Rabb needed for a case? Or was Rabb going to come on to him? That would be surreal, having Rabb come on to his date. But Rabb wasn't into guys; he was sure of that.

But no, Rabb didn't say anything to Ryan after a short exchange that Clay was sure was Ryan being his usual helpful self and Rabb saying he didn't need any help. Ryan gave Rabb one more puzzled look as Rabb backed away, then turned back to his screen, while Rabb stopped and stared at Ryan. Rabb was acting like even more of an idiot than he usually did. There had to be a reason for that, and there was only one that made sense to Clay. He felt his mouth tighten. AJ had sent Rabb to find out who his date was. Interesting. AJ gave that much of a damn who he saw? He'd thought AJ had been overly interested when he'd mentioned his date, but he'd written that off as a misperception stemming from his own unease at bringing up seeing another man to AJ.

Rabb finally turned away from Ryan, and by that time Clay was able to smile as he watched Rabb leave. He'd been tempted to confront Rabb with his inept spy attempt, but since AJ was so damned determined to find out who the man was with whom Clay had a date Friday night, and didn't want to ask him, Clay was going to make sure AJ had the answer he deserved. Rabb would tell AJ the truth. What he didn't know was if it would make AJ feel better or worse.

He got to the coffee and dismissed that thought as he refilled his mug. AJ had made the move here, not him. He hoped that Rabb gave him a very good description, with an emphasis on Ryan's good looks. It wasn't like Rabb could say anything else about him. At least he'd been smart enough to avoid a lengthy conversation.

"Webb." It was Ryan, and there was too much anxiety on his face to suit Clay. Ryan was a good guy. He nodded to let Ryan know he'd gotten the message, then made his way casually over to Ryan's desk. "That guy. He was here to see you, right?" Clay nodded again. "He came over like he wanted something, but he said he didn't, then he stared at me for a long time. What was with him?"

"That was Commander Rabb from the Navy's Judge Advocate General's office, and I don't know." Ryan didn't need to know about AJ. "Maybe he thought you were cute." Clay gave Ryan a smile, and Ryan returned it.

"He's not my type. You are." Ryan's eyes brightened. "If you're really worried about other guys coming after me, why don't we skip the bar and just go to your place?"

Clay blinked. Now that was direct. But direct was fine. "I can handle competition." Not that Rabb would ever be that. "And this way I get to have everybody know you're with me." He gave Ryan another smile. It had been too long since he'd played this game, and it felt great.

"I like the sound of that."

Ryan shifted in his chair, then spread his legs to show his crotch, and Clay shook his head. This was going farther than was prudent at Langley. He was sure his co-workers were aware he was bisexual, as he knew their preferences, but it was better not to flaunt it. He'd talk to Ryan about that later.

"Work, Ryan. That's what the Company pays you to do."

"Whatever you say."

Ryan gave him a teasing look, and Clay made a mental note to make sure that Ryan got to the point of desperation later for that. That was how the game was played. What happened in public was paid for in private. He was pretty sure Ryan knew that as well. Ryan wasn't as green as he'd thought. Good.

"Watch what you say."

Ryan nodded and wiped the teasing look from his face, and Clay walked back to his office. He was paid to work, too.

*****

"Thank you, Commander. Dismissed."

"Aye, aye, sir."

Rabb shut the door behind him, and AJ sat and stared at the top of his desk. Ryan Devlin. Good work on Rabb's part. He'd found the man without involving Clayton Webb.

Rabb had said that he looked twenty-five, so he was probably at least ten years younger than Clay. AJ rubbed his forehead. It would be good for Clay to have a relationship. There was no way the two of them could have one. Hell, he hadn't even been able to reach out and ask Clay over for dinner until now, months after Australia. They'd gotten together, but only for drinks and short talks, all in public.

AJ made himself go over the course of events between him and Clay since Australia. He'd gotten back to enough work that he hadn't had time for anything else for a while, then he'd started dating Dr. Sydney Walden and hadn't been interested in going to bed with Clay. Clay had seemed fine with that, hadn't even made a suggestion about having sex, for which AJ had been grateful. He and Sydney had broken up, and when the pain of that had dulled and he'd began to think about Clay again as more than a friend, Clay had been away or busy. He'd thought it was just a matter of time before the two of them ended up in bed together, and he still thought that. He'd also thought that Clay understood that it was all right for him to make the suggestion, but Clay hadn't. Maybe Australia had shown him that he wanted more than just a friendship with sex at times. Clay deserved more, and AJ wouldn't stand in the way of him getting that.

He was reaching for a file, paper this time, when the phone rang. "Chegwidden."

"AJ." What was Clay calling about? "I wanted to let you know it looks like Friday's going to be open after all, so I could cook you that dinner then, if that's good for you."

So the date was off. "Fine." AJ hoped that his voice was as steady as he wanted it to be. "Did your date cancel?"

"We moved it to tonight. Why wait?"

Clay's voice was casual and calm, but there was a satisfaction in it that made AJ grit his teeth. Why was Clay rushing things? Was this Ryan that attractive? Rabb had described Ryan Devlin in enough detail for AJ to get the picture. A young Robert Redford, Rabb had said. AJ hadn't thought Clay would be lured by a pretty face.

AJ gripped the phone more tightly. All right, it was none of his business. "Who is this guy?" he found himself saying abruptly. It *was* his business. Clay was his friend, and he wasn't going to have him taken advantage of by some guy.

"Didn't Rabb give you a good enough report about Ryan?"

AJ felt his stomach twist and churn at the hard chill of Clay's answer. So Rabb had given himself away somehow. He should have known.

"Next time you want to know something, AJ, ask me. Rabb's no spy. I got what the hell he was trying to do without any trouble at all. All right?" There was a pause, then Clay continued in a quieter voice. "Is there anything you'd like to know about him? I'm sure that Rabb only came back with the physical description."

"I'm concerned about you, Clay."

"Is there anything?"

AJ took a deep breath. Clay sounded calm, but he also sounded pissed, not that AJ could blame him. He shouldn't have sent Rabb to spy on Clay, but he hadn't thought Clay would tell him anything. Hell, he hadn't been thinking, just reacting. He knew better than that. The damage was done, and now he had to find a way to repair it.

"How old is he?"

"Twenty-seven. Anything else?"

"You going to sleep with him?"

There was a pause this time before Clay answered. "I'd say that was my business. Wouldn't you, AJ?"

"Of course. But Clay, you don't have to jump into bed with this guy. You can always come to me." Clay always called on a secure line, so it was safe to talk honestly.

"Really." AJ closed his eyes. Clay was getting sarcastic. The snap of that one word told him that. "I can? That's really nice of you. No, AJ, I'm not going to 'come to you' like some kind of beggar. As far as I understood it, Australia was the end of anything sexual between us, and you haven't done anything since then to let me know otherwise until now. I've accepted that, and I've gone on with my life. If you want me, you haven't been clear about that at all. I'll talk to you later. I have to meet Ryan for a drink, and I don't intend to be late." Clay stopped, and AJ wondered if he was going to hang up, but after a few breaths he continued. "Think about what you want from me, AJ. I'm sick of this game you're playing with me. It ends now. Not our friendship, but this game. I have no problem being your friend, but if you want me in your bed, you're going to have to work to get me."

At that, Clay did hang up, and AJ made himself replace the receiver. Was Clay right? Was he was playing a game with his friend? If he was, it was a damned rotten one. He would do some thinking, and Friday he and Clay would talk. He was sure he'd know what he wanted by then.

*****

Clayton Webb put down his scotch and smiled across the table at Ryan. "I thought getting you out of Langley would help you relax, but you're not relaxing."

Ryan swallowed his gulp of beer and looked over at Clay. "It's too loud here to relax. Maybe if you took me somewhere," he paused and smiled, "more quiet, like your place."

Still more direct than most men Clay had been with, but that was all right. He stood. "If that's what it'll take, I'm happy to get out of here."

"Great." Ryan was up beside him now, hands warm on his body and then sliding down to his crotch. When the hell had the kid gotten this bold? Clay shifted away. He didn't want to, but they were in public, and that was how the game was played.

"Behave yourself," he murmured and leaned over to take the other man's mouth in a quick kiss, in the process getting Ryan's hands off his crotch and safely in his, then pulled him toward the door.

"I thought I was getting a reward," Ryan teased back when they were outside. "Instead I get told to behave and dragged out of the club with my beer half-finished. Doesn't seem like a reward to me."

Clayton's eyes gleamed. This was fun. "I thought you wanted to get out of there, and I told you I wouldn't let you get drunk. I don't want you drunk. And what kind of reward do you want?"

"You get to decide that." Ryan was giving him a look that told Clay he wasn't dealing with a nervous kid any longer. Ryan wanted him and knew what that meant. Good. "Isn't that how it works? That's what I thought you promised me."

"Well, if I promised you that, you'll get it." He saw that they were near his car and steered Ryan toward it. "Where's your car?"

"I knew I'd be going home with you, so I took a cab," Ryan said simply.

Clay had to remind himself to breathe. It was heady to hear Ryan that certain of what he wanted from him. He could get used to this. But first he needed to get Ryan into his car and home. "Then let's go."

*****

AJ put down his book and reached for his glass of water, only to find that it was empty. He stood, the glass in his hand. Hell, he was bored. The book was all right, but it wasn't enough to stop him from wondering what Clay and this Ryan were doing.

He strode into the kitchen. This was going to stop now. Clay had every right to go on a date. They would talk Friday night; he would tell Clay that he hadn't meant to play a game with him, that he wouldn't do it any more, that he wanted to be one of Clay's lovers.

That made him stop. *One* of them? Well, yes. That was how it probably would be. They were two men, two friends who had sex. He couldn't see it turning into any more than that; he didn't *want* any more than that. What if he met a woman he liked? Was he going to worry about what Clay would think? What the hell was he getting into? And how the hell had he gotten there? Did he really want this? Maybe it would be better if he let the whole matter drop, told Clay he wanted the sex to be over. Clay had said they'd still be friends.

He ended up pouring himself a shot instead of water. He'd just have the one, then go to bed. It was only nine-thirty, but he could read in there, and maybe that would help him relax. He needed sleep. Things would seem clearer in the morning. They usually did.

*****

"Would you like some coffee?" Clay hung up his coat and Ryan's as well, then turned to find the other man standing in the doorway. "I don't have any beer, sorry." He smiled. "Think you can manage without it?"

"I want you." Ryan took a step toward him, and Clay found himself held by those eyes. "I want my reward."

"And you want it now?"

"Right now. Do you know what it's going to be?"

"Certainly. Come here."

Clay walked over to the couch and knew that Ryan was following. When he reached it, he took Ryan's arm and pushed him down onto the couch. "Now for your reward."

Ryan's breathing was shallow. "What do I do?"

"Sit there." Clay knelt on the floor and reached for Ryan's zipper. Ryan let out a little gasp when Clay's fingers touched the fabric, and Clay knew that the other man was close. Just from kissing me, he thought. Just from being with me, just from me taking him home. Power. He'd missed that, and it was easy and good with Ryan.

He got the zipper undone and reached in to take out Ryan's erection. Nicely shaped and sized and leaking pre-come. He leaned forward and licked the head, hearing Ryan's gasp, then some words.

"Please, Clay." Ryan was trembling under Clay's hands.

"You like that?" Clay asked softly and did it again. This time Ryan moaned. "Yes, you like that."

He took the head into his mouth, relishing the taste, sweeter than he was used to, then slid his mouth down the shaft slowly, teasingly. Ryan's trembling got worse, and Clay took pity on him and started sucking hard. Soon Ryan was shooting down his throat. Clay swallowed as much as he could, then pulled off and wiped his lips and chin with his handkerchief.

"A good enough reward?" He put Ryan's limp cock back in his pants and did them up as he spoke.

"God, yes," Ryan breathed. "But you didn't get anything." He put his hand on Clay's shoulder. "I want to see you come."

"I thought we could get to that next, in my bedroom." There was no way in hell he was going to have this be just a trade-off of blow jobs in the living room. He'd promised Ryan and himself a good time.

"I don't want to wait." The hand on his shoulder tightened, then Clay found himself pulled up onto the couch, his pants undone, and Ryan on the floor in front of him with his fingers wrapped around Clay's cock. "Please, Clay. Let me suck you." The bright eyes looked into his and pleaded as much as Ryan's voice.

"The bedroom," he tried, finding his voice was shakier than he'd expected. Ryan's fingers knew just what the hell they were doing, pumping him in a rhythm that made it hard for him not to thrust with his hips. "It's more comfortable."

"If that's what you want, Clay," Ryan said with a look that made Clay feel like a heartless bastard. He wasn't being one now, he reminded himself sternly. Ryan was trying to play him to get what he wanted.

"It's what I want." His voice was a little better this time.

"Yes, Clay." Ryan took his hand away, but only after tucking Clay's erection gently back into his pants. "I'm sorry." He gave Clay a look that Clay could only interpret as hopeful. "Are you going to punish me for that?"

Clay took a breath. "Should I?" he parried, leaving room for Ryan to back down if he wanted to. Ryan was young. Maybe he didn't mean what Clay thought he had: a spanking.

Ryan's eyes brightened even more. "Definitely. I want you to. And there are a few other things I need punishing for."

"Is that so? I'll want to hear what those are." Clay stood. "Come on. I'll give you what you're asking for."

"I can take it as hard as you can give it." Ryan wet his lips and nodded. "Really."

"You'll take whatever I want to give you, and like it." Clay made sure his voice had amusement in it. This was a game, and he wanted to be sure Ryan knew he knew that.

"Of course I will," Ryan whispered. "Is this something you like?"

"Oh, I like it." It had been a while since he'd played this game, but he remembered how good it was to spank a man who wanted it, how hot it made him. "Come with me."

He knew Ryan was following him as he walked to his bedroom. When he reached his bedroom door, he stopped and took Ryan by the arm, then half-guided, half-pulled him in until the two of them were standing beside the bed.

"What have you done that's so bad you need to be punished?" He made sure his voice was caressing. "I can't have you running around being a bad boy." Oh, yes, Ryan definitely liked this. He could see that in those big eyes and feel it in his trembling. He ran his hand over the seat of Ryan's pants and felt him shiver and push back toward it. "Tell me."

"I took too long with your request, and when I did have it done, I didn't bring it to you. I waited for you to come get it."

"Yes, that was bad." Clay let his hand rest on Ryan's ass. "Anything else?"

"I stole one of your mugs." Clay's fingers were massaging Ryan's ass cheeks, and Ryan was having a hard time getting words out. "The deep blue one."

"All you had to do was ask if you wanted it," Clay murmured. He'd wondered what had happened to the mug, but he'd written it off to some accident and brought another one in. "Are you using it?"

"Not at work. I didn't want you to see. I took it home. I use it every morning." Ryan licked his lips. "That was bad, right?"

"Yes, it was very bad to take it and then to hide it from me. You really are a bad boy, Ryan. I'm going to have to keep an eye on you. Anything else?"

Ryan shuddered and pressed himself against Clay's body. "I jerked off in the washroom today, and another guy heard me, and he offered to give me a blow job."

"You didn't take him up on it, did you?"

"No. He said he'd be good, but I didn't want him. I wanted you."

"Ryan, listen to me." Clay took his hand off Ryan's ass and put it and the other one on his shoulders, gripping hard so that Ryan would understand from that as well as his voice that this was a serious matter and not part of the game. "You need to tell me now if this is the truth about the bathroom. If this is going on at the Company, it has to be stopped."

Ryan let out a long breath. "I did jerk off, but no one was there. I'm sorry, Clay. But now you really need to punish me, right? For lying to you and making you worry?"

God, he played this game well. "Were you going to tell me you'd lied?"

"A little later. When you had me," Ryan blushed, "stripped."

"You sound as though you want this," Clay said in the sternest voice he could muster, which wasn't that stern, since Ryan was really fun like this. "Maybe I should punish you by not giving you what you want." He took his hands off Ryan's shoulders and folded them across his chest after stepping back. "Yes, I think that would be much better."

"No, please." Ryan's face looked half-happy, half-worried. Good, especially since he could see that he was still hard. He was playing it right. "Please punish me, Clay."

Ryan had been brave and honest to start this. He let his eyes travel over Ryan's lean body. "I will."

Ryan let out a long sigh. "Thank you."

Clay smiled and unfolded his arms, then reached for the soft fabric of Ryan's pullover shirt, pulled it out of his jeans, then over his head. Ryan lifted his arms as soon as he got what Clay was doing.

"Now that's better," Clay murmured and tossed the shirt over to a nearby chair. This was no time to worry about folding clothes. They weren't ones that needed it. He'd see that his own clothes, when they did come off, were treated properly. "If I give you this punishment that you want so much, will you remember not to lie to me, or steal, or play games at work?" He undid the top button of Ryan's pants and unzipped him again, letting his fingers brush against the erection that sprang out. "Ryan? Answer me."

"I'll be good, Clay."

Clay thought about making him spell out how he'd be good, then discarded the idea. This was a game. They'd talk about the need to be careful about anything sexual at Langley later, when neither of them was aroused. "Good. Take off your pants and get on the bed. Lie on your front."

He watched as Ryan hurriedly stepped out of the pants and put them on top of the shirt before getting on the bed as ordered. Once Ryan was on his front, he sighed and ground himself into the mattress.

"Lie still. You are a bad boy."

"Very bad. I deserve this, Clay," and the breathlessness of his voice made Clay smile.

What a night. He'd never thought Ryan would be into this, but then he hadn't spent that much time trying to figure out what Ryan was into. He'd thought mostly about how to get Ryan to stop chasing him.

"Yes, you do, and you're going to get it." With that, Clay lifted his hand and brought it down on Ryan's pale ass. Ryan gasped and pushed up into the blow. "That's good. Show me that you want it."

"Please, Clay." Clay could hear the begging in Ryan's voice. "As many as you think I need. I can take it."

"I know you can." Clay spanked him again, making sure he kept count. Ryan could say what he wanted, but he played responsibly. Twenty, he decided, and then he'd reevaluate.

Ryan was whimpering by the seventh spank and moaning by the fifteenth. His ass was red and hot to the touch by the twentieth. Clay decided that was enough. His arm was tired, his hand was getting numb, and his cock was telling him that it was time for something more.

"Please, Clay." Ryan pushed up his ass, but Clay stepped back.

"That's all." Ryan moaned at that. "You got your punishment. Now I want my reward for giving it to you."

Ryan scrambled off the bed, letting out a hiss as his ass brushed the bed. "Yes, Clay. May I suck you off?"

An interesting mixture of politeness and boldness. "Yes, you may."

Clay undid his own pants and got out of them, deciding from the way Ryan's eyes begged that he'd just lay them carefully over the chair. He didn't want to wait.

He sat down on the bed and watched Ryan sink to his knees. Had Ryan sucked cock before? He'd find out soon enough.

Ryan took Clay's erection into his mouth, and Clay let out a long breath. So far, so good.

Ryan was fine as long as he didn't take too much in, Clay found. He let the other man do what he wanted, what he was comfortable with. Ryan's hand around his shaft, combined with the licking and sucking of the head of his cock, was more than enough to make him come. Ryan swallowed it all, surprising and pleasing Clay.

Ryan took his mouth away, and Clay sucked in a long breath to compose himself. Ryan was looking up at him, looking to him. "And what about you?"

"Anything, Clay. Or nothing. You don't have to do anything for me."

"Get up here." Clay moved to the center of the bed as Ryan climbed on next to him. Ryan was hard, and Clay was not going to leave him hanging. "I want to see your face as you come this time," he said in a low voice and watched Ryan's young face flush. "I want to feel you, and I want to hear you. Is your ass still hot?"

Ryan moaned at that. "So hot, Clay. You were good."

"You don't have to be bad to get a spanking," Clay teased, getting his hand around Ryan's cock and pumping. Ryan's hips bucked up into the grip. "But it does help."

Ryan's eyes were open and fixed on his face, he was moaning, and some of the sounds that came out were his name, along with more begging. "Clay, Clay, please, please, oh, please."

Ryan saw him. No chance that he was thinking of some woman when Clay had his hands or his mouth on him. He wasn't going to think of AJ now. He had Ryan here, and it was good. Better than it had been with AJ. Goddammit.

He pushed the thoughts of AJ away more firmly and focused on Ryan, working Ryan's cock until Ryan cried out and came over his hand.

Clay reached for some tissues and cleaned them both off, then got Ryan under the covers before taking off his shirt and getting in next to him. Ryan was already half-asleep, but he reached for Clay, wrapping his warm arms around him. Clay smiled and closed his eyes and let himself drift into a light sleep.

*****

Later the same night, AJ opened his eyes and checked the time. Two in the morning. Was Clay home? Or had he gone over to this Ryan's place? No. Clay wasn't the kind to jump into bed with anyone on the first date.

Or was he? How much did he know about Clayton Webb's habits when he was with a man who had no problem admitting that he wanted another man? Nothing at all.

He turned over and closed his eyes in an attempt to get back to sleep, then snapped them open. He'd just gotten an image of Clay's face as he'd seen it when he was close to coming, but this time it wasn't with him. It was with this blond young man, who looked like a young Robert Redford according to Rabb, for god's sake. Damn Rabb for using that comparison and for looking so puzzled as to why his commanding officer wanted to know what some CIA employee looked like. He hadn't given Rabb any reason or clue, of course, and he was sure Rabb wasn't going to talk to anyone else or come close to figuring it out.

This young and damned attractive man was so attentive, so pleased to be with Clay, had his head down and his mouth around Clay's cock. AJ licked his lips. He remembered how good Clay tasted. This Ryan would have to like it, too. His hand slipped down and found his own erection poking out of his shorts. He started pulling it, the images still coming. Clay was groaning, his hands buried in that blond hair, and the young man didn't mind at all as Clay held him in place and pushed himself deeper into that mouth that AJ was sure had done this before with other men and could take anything Clay wanted to give him.

He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and in that moment, the images changed. The blond was on his hands and knees, and Clay was behind him, his cock pushing slowly into him, and the blond was begging Clay for more.

*Please, Clay, I need it. Fuck me. Please fuck me.*

And Clay was laughing. *Don't worry, Ryan, I will fuck you.*

AJ moaned at the confidence in Clay's voice. God, this was insane, and he couldn't stop himself, couldn't stop the images and sounds in his head. Was he going crazy?

Then what he saw was Clay thrusting all the way into the young man, that damned piece of hair falling down over Clay's forehead as he'd seen it every time they had sex. The blond moaned, then bent his head until it touched the bed as Clay pumped in and out of his ass.

AJ's hand sped up on his cock. That was something he and Clay had not done. Clay had offered in Australia, but it wasn't something that interested him. But that had to be something Clay wanted to do. Hell, no, that kid wasn't good enough for Clay. He felt a fierceness spread through him as definitely as the arousal. If Clay wanted a guy, that guy was going to be him. Clay was his.

He came at that thought.

While wiping his semen off his hands and mopping up what had gotten on his shorts, he thought. His? He'd never thought that before, but yes. His. After the rescue of Tim Fawkes in Rome and then the times they'd spent together, working on their friendship as they helped each other, he'd come to think of Clay as his. The trip to Australia had cemented that. And then he'd let that closeness go, let Clay think he didn't want him any more, thought he didn't have to do anything to keep everything the way he wanted it to be, thought he didn't want more from Clay, when he did. He wanted Clayton Webb in his life, and as more than a friend, as his lover. His, and no one else's. He'd been a fool, but he was through with that.

He smiled grimly. Watch out, Ryan Devlin, he thought to himself. You may have gotten Clayton Webb tonight, but I'm coming after him, and when I do, I'm going to get him back. You'll find out that taking what belongs to a Navy SEAL is a bad idea.

He laid back down and went right to sleep.

*****

Clay looked at Ryan's sleeping face. Idiot, he scathed himself. He'd gone ahead and had sex with this kid who worshipped him, and now he was going to have to find a way to deal with whatever came out of this indulgence. He liked Ryan Devlin, and Ryan deserved better than a man who was trying to forget a friend and once-lover in his arms.

"Hey." Ryan stretched his hand over to rest on Clay's cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Go back to sleep." He moved away from the comfort of the hand and got his head back on the pillow. He wasn't going to have this conversation. "Everything's fine."

"No, Clay." Clay was surprised at the firmness of Ryan's voice. Had he been awake long? "You look like you're regretting this. Don't. It was great." He laughed shortly. "I just wish I had a chance in hell of getting into your bed again. I don't even know how I got this lucky."

Clay turned on his side to face Ryan. He knew he shouldn't encourage Ryan to think this way, should brush off his comment with a laugh and some touches or kisses, get him to forget about everything with some more of the sex that had been so good, but it would be better to discuss this, not make it worse with more games.

"What do you mean? I wanted to go to bed with you." That was the truth. Even when he was thinking he needed to discourage Ryan, he'd been attracted.

"But you were going to tell me to find someone else to chase. I knew it. I didn't care. At least I'd get to spend some time with you, and I thought I might be able to change your mind."

Ryan's fingers slid down to Clay's crotch, and they were getting him hard again. He should stop him, but he didn't want to. He couldn't take his eyes off the expression of desire on Ryan's face. It was so good to see that, and dammit, what was wrong with being wanted? With having someone in his bed who wanted to be there?

Ryan flicked out his tongue and licked Clay's neck. "You are so sexy. Maybe I can change your mind. Whoever it is you want, he's a fool to have left you alone this long. And I know you've been alone. Why else would you have taken me to bed? But I'll make you happy for as long as you'll let me."

He really couldn't let Ryan keep thinking like this. Ryan deserved to feel as though he was important, and Clay knew he could give him that. "Ryan," he started, then Ryan surprised him with a lunge that ended up with his mouth on Clay's. The fervor with which Ryan kissed him made him forget what he had been going to say, and when he remembered it, he decided to let the whole thing go. Maybe if he didn't make a big deal of it, Ryan would dismiss his notions of some other man and believe instead that Clay wanted him.

Ryan pulled away after a few kisses. "I want you inside me, Clay." He wet his lips. "I want you to be the first."

The words didn't register for a moment, then he made himself speak. "Ryan, there's no need to do this. I like you; you're great in bed; I'm not kicking you out, and I imagine we'll do this again."

"I want to." Ryan's eyes were huge on his. "I've been stretching myself every night with a plug, hoping you'd," he swallowed, "fuck me."

"You can barely say it," Clay said gently, fighting back the part of him that was intrigued and excited by the thought of this man wanting him so much that he had been preparing himself for a chance with him. "I don't think so." He drew the younger man to him and gave him a long kiss. "There's plenty of other things we can do."

Ryan's return look was stubborn, even though his face was flushed. "I want you to fuck me, Clay. I know you'll make it good, and I want my first time to be with someone who knows what he's doing. But if you won't, I'll go find someone tomorrow night at that bar. There were guys looking at me. I'll bet one of them wouldn't be a coward."

"There's no need for that." The insult and bravado didn't bother him. Ryan was trying to provoke him into doing what Ryan wanted; the game was obvious. "Let's see how it goes. I thought we established before that I'd do what I wanted with you." It was easy to slip back into being the dominant one; it was what he liked to be. It was safer to be in charge.

Ryan pressed himself against Clay's warm body. "Whatever you want," he whispered. "Please want me."

Clay kissed him again, tongue working in the other man's mouth, and felt Ryan respond. Ryan wanted him, no one else. Ryan was moaning now, and Clay knew that if he wanted to, Ryan would let him fuck him. Would probably beg for it. He swallowed. He wanted to fuck Ryan, but Ryan hadn't been fucked before. Fucking someone for the first time was too much for a first date, in his opinion.

"Clay, please," Ryan begged, pulling away just enough to talk. "I want you to. I need you to. Don't you want me?"

Fuck. Was there any way out of this? Yes, and he would find it. "Of course I want you." He kissed him again, even longer, until he felt the tension in Ryan's grip ease. "But I want your first time to be a really good memory. Not something you think later you've rushed into." He stroked Ryan's back. "I'll fuck you next time, if you still want it." He'd make sure it was good for him. He'd had a hell of a great initiation into sex with a man, someone he'd met while touring in Europe after graduation, and he had always made sure that any partner of his got his best version of that initiation.

Ryan smiled. "I get another time?"

"Yes, of course," and right then Clayton couldn't imagine not seeing Ryan again. So damned willing and good and there. He smiled at the younger man. "If you'll give me another time."

Ryan's smile got brighter. "Any time you want, Clay."

"Good." Clay got his fingers around Ryan's cock and squeezed, hearing Ryan's moan with satisfaction. "Now I'm going to watch you come again. You like that idea?"

"Only if I get to watch you come, too, Clay," Ryan breathed, and Clay knew he meant it. Knew that Ryan would probably accept anything he'd give him, accept not coming at all, accept Clay treating him like a toy, but he wouldn't do that, and Ryan would come to learn that, too, if they stayed together.

"I want you to be comfortable for this." He wet his lips and pushed Ryan back onto the bed. He wasn't going to hurry it this time. He wanted Ryan to enjoy himself. After he had, he'd show Ryan how he liked to be jerked off, then they could go back to sleep until the alarm went off at six. He smiled as Ryan writhed when he squeezed one nipple between his fingers. Not much sleep, but some things were worth losing sleep for.

*****

AJ strode out of the elevator and looked around. He hadn't been in Langley for a while. If he needed anything, he called or sent Rabb or Roberts, but this errand he needed to do himself. He knew his expression was grim, and he didn't care. He had tried to reach Clay this morning, after he'd done some thinking and realized even more that he'd treated Clay shabbily and taken him for granted, but all he got from the polite person who answered was that Mr. Webb was not yet in his office, and would he like to leave a message? He hadn't. He needed to talk to Clay face to face.

The door to Clay's office was shut and locked, he found when he turned the knob, and there was no answer when he knocked. He took a slow breath. Fine. Clay was a busy man. He'd known it was a long shot. He'd go back to JAG and talk to him when they had dinner. He could wait that long.

"Excuse me." He turned to see a man standing near him. "I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help you."

"Thank you, but I need to see Webb." He saw the face brighten at the name and took a better look at the man. Blond and attractive, and yes, maybe a little like a young Robert Redford. He checked the man's badge. Ryan Devlin. Clay's Ryan. "I'd like to talk to you."

Ryan Devlin looked puzzled, but nodded. "My desk is over here." He gestured down the hall toward the open area AJ had passed by when he exited the elevator.

"Privately, please."

Something changed in Devlin's face. "Oh. Let me see if there's a conference room available." He started down the hall as AJ followed, spoke with a woman who leafed through a book before answering, then turned to AJ. "We can have room 5 for an hour."

"That should be more than enough time," AJ said grimly. This was what Clayton Webb wanted? This kid? Clay should know better. Damn him for not behaving with the intelligence and discretion AJ knew he was capable of.

Ryan Devlin nodded and led the way to the conference room. AJ closed the door behind him and saw that the other man was standing by a seat at the long table. "Go ahead and sit if you like."

"I think I'd prefer to stand, if that's all right with you." There was a pause. "You know my name, admiral." The kid was educated enough to recognize an admiral's insignia. "May I ask yours?"

"AJ Chegwidden. Call me AJ."

Ryan nodded. "Very well, AJ, I'm Ryan. What did you want to talk with me about?"

Something about the man was taking the air out of his sails. This wasn't this kid's fault. He had gotten swept away by Clay's charm and attention. That had to be it. He wasn't going to come down hard on him. Either he'd convince Clay he was serious or he wouldn't.

"I changed my mind. I'll talk to Webb another time. Sorry to bother you."

Ryan frowned, then his expression cleared. "You were looking at me as though you were mad at me, and we've never met, to the best of my knowledge. I'd like to hear why."

"No, son, you don't."

Ryan came toward him. "It's about Clay, isn't it?" He didn't give AJ a chance to answer. "You're a friend of his, and you're worried about him seeing me? I know he's been hurt by someone. I would never hurt him. Never. He's lucky to have a friend like you who gives a damn."

Well, he was Clay's friend, and he wasn't about to deny that. He looked into the earnest eyes and felt like a bastard. This kid thought he was concerned that *he'd* hurt Clay? More likely that Clay would hurt him, but that wasn't very likely. Clay was a good person; he knew that better than most. "I'm sure you won't." His voice was rough. "Thank you."

"Were you - " Ryan stopped, then took a breath and continued. "Were you involved with Clay?"

He didn't have to answer that. He shouldn't answer that. How could he know what Ryan Devlin would do with this information? He kept quiet, but that didn't seem to make a difference to Ryan.

"I think you were, and I think you're the one Clay really wants," Ryan said very softly, and AJ saw the pain in his eyes. "And you've come to get him back." He groped for a chair and sat. "I just wanted to make him happy. I knew it couldn't last."

AJ took the seat by him. "Son, you're jumping to conclusions. If Webb's with you, he wants to be." And when the hell did he start feeling as though he had to reassure Clay's lover?

Ryan shook his head. "I'm not what Clay wants. I know that. I've known that all along." He swallowed. "Good luck, AJ. Please make Clay happy." He held out his hand, and when AJ took it, gave a firm shake. "He deserves to be happy," he ended in a whisper, then took his hand away and was out of the room.

AJ sighed. So now what? Now he needed to go back to JAG, work, wait for tomorrow night, and try to figure out how best to tell Clay that he wanted a sexual relationship with him as well as a friendship. Ryan was an attractive man. He'd find someone else. If he was ready to give up that quickly on Clay, he wasn't good enough for him. Clay deserved someone who was a fighter, like Clay himself was.

He kept an eye out as he walked down the hall, but there was no sign of Clay. Probably just as well. Tomorrow night would come soon enough.

*****

Clay headed back to his office from his meeting. Somebody always managed not to be with the program and need some kind of personal briefing, but at least this time he'd gotten out of there in under an hour, and without a headache for a change.

He decided that a stop in the bathroom would be a good idea and made the turn, pushing through the door with a practiced ease. Ryan Devlin was drying his face with one of the damned brown paper towels, and Clay took a quick survey, found no one else there, used the urinal, then crossed to him.

"Hi there," he said quietly, feeling a warmth at the sight of the other man. "You doing all right?"

Ryan jerked the towel down and stared. "Oh, hi."

Ryan was jumpier than usual, and Clay decided he wanted to find out more. "How is work going?"

"Fine. Stuff to do, but yeah, fine."

"I hope not too much stuff." Maybe the combination of not enough sleep and more caffeine than usual was to blame. Clay knew he was more tired than he'd like, but he also knew how to handle it.

"Well, some. See you later." Ryan was at the door as he spoke, but it opened before he touched it.

"Hi, Mr. Webb. I was looking for you."

It was Lindsey Evans, lanky in his suit and looking, again, as though he should be in jeans and sneakers and in class, or better yet, outside where there would be enough room for him. Evans was going to be a fine agent someday; Clay was certain of that, but right now he was a junior agent who talked back, did things his own way, didn't listen to the people he needed to listen to, like his superior, Clayton Webb, and needed more than anything to learn patience.

"Good work, Evans. You found me. What did you want?" Clay's voice was dry, which usually got Evans to pay attention, but Evans didn't answer. He was still in the doorway, half in, half out, and Clay saw that he was looking at Ryan with an intensity Clay hadn't seen from Evans off the shooting range.

Ryan cleared his throat. "Excuse me." Evans didn't move. He kept staring at Ryan.

"Evans." Evans blinked, then looked at him with that puzzled, but open look that Clay knew too well meant questions and objections would come next, if allowed. "Let the man go back to work."

"But, Mr. Webb - "

"Evans."

"Yes, Mr. Webb." He stepped into the bathroom, and Ryan slipped out, giving Clay a quick smile as the door closed behind him.

Clay frowned and turned on the water to wash his hands. There had been something in Evans' eyes when they were staring at Ryan, and Clay was sure he had read it correctly. Whether Ryan knew it or not, Lindsey Evans found him attractive. He glanced at Evans' face in the mirror and saw the beginnings of Evans' customary impatience and took his time drying his hands. Evans looked as though he wanted to say something once or twice, but each time he swallowed it. Clay nodded to himself and tossed the towel into the trash basket, then gestured to Evans to come with him into the hall.

"All right, Evans. What is it?"

"I have that report you asked for. You said you needed it right away."

"Thank you, Evans." He reached out for the file, but Evans held it away from him.

"I'd like to go over it with you. There were some parts I didn't get."

Evans was smart enough to admit when he needed help, and that was to be encouraged. "All right. Come with me. We'll do that now."

"He looked upset," Evans volunteered as they started down the hall.

"Who looked upset?" Clay knew he meant Ryan, but he wasn't going to admit anything to Evans.

"Ryan Devlin. That's his name." Evans sounded proud of himself for knowing. "The guy in the bathroom. You weren't mad at him, were you, Mr. Webb? When you get mad at people, they get pretty upset."

Evans still hadn't figured out that there were times to be quiet. He turned his head and looked at Evans coolly and without any kind of expression, and Evans actually flushed and closed his mouth. Nice to know he could still do that. He let out the smile that he'd been holding in and kept walking.

They turned the last corner and were almost at his office when Evans spoke again. "Think he likes hot dogs?"

"Hot dogs?" This was one of the more surreal conversations he'd had lately.

"Hot dogs. Like you eat at baseball games."

"I wouldn't know." Why would Evans want to know that? Was this some kind of game Evans was playing? He would have bet that Evans wouldn't play games, but then maybe he was turning into a regular Company agent after all. It was too bad in a way. There was a safeness about Evans being so direct.

"Right. I'll ask him myself. Maybe he'll go to an Orioles game with me. You think so?"

Clay ignored that one as he pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his door. Had he just been asked for permission to ask Ryan out? No, Evans couldn't know about the two of them. If he had, he would have said something more to give that away. He took a quick look at the younger agent's face, but all that was there was curiosity, intelligence, and that same openness. Evans was still Evans. Good to know that hadn't changed.

*****

"Thanks, Mr. Webb. I've got it now." Evans stood. "I should have that next report done tomorrow."

"Good. Bring it to me when it's ready."

"Yes, sir."

When the door shut behind Evans, Clay picked up his glass of water and sipped while he reviewed his conclusions. Evans was interested in Ryan. Ryan had no clue, but then Ryan had eyes only for him. What the hell was he supposed to do about this? Was he supposed to do anything? He'd had one date with Ryan, for god's sake.

He stood. He'd talk to Ryan to make a date for tonight. He didn't think Ryan would have a problem with that, and he could find out then what had been bothering Ryan and sound him out about Evans as well. Ryan should know that someone else was interested in him.

Ryan was frowning at his monitor when Clay went over to him. "Ryan." Clay kept his voice down. No need for everyone to hear.

Ryan jumped, then turned to face him. "Clay. Hi. Um, I've got work to do now." He waved his hand at his desk, and Clay nodded.

"Of course. I'd like to talk with you. How about doing something after work?"

Ryan's face tightened. "Um, sorry."

Clay waited for more, but Ryan just looked away from him, his face reddening. "Why not?" When Ryan still didn't answer, Clay sat down in the chair by his desk. "Is something wrong?"

Ryan shook his head. "No."

Clay knew he was lying, but also knew that this wasn't the time to call him on it. He waited.

Ryan tried a smile, but it looked forced to Clay's practiced eye. "Um, I'm pretty tired. I wouldn't be good company."

Clay nodded. It was a good point, and the talk could wait. "Another time, then. I'm busy tomorrow night, but there's the weekend, if you're up to it then."

"Another time." Ryan's smile was better now, but Clay could tell that Ryan wasn't doing too well at all. He'd have to remember Ryan needed a decent night's sleep. "Thanks, Clay."

"You're welcome. Get some sleep."

"Yeah, I will."

Clay nodded, then stood and started back to his office. Maybe it wasn't anything more than morning-after jitters to go with the exhaustion. Good thing he hadn't fucked Ryan. His cock stirred. But he wanted to next time.

*****

The next day, Friday, was a fairly busy one for Clay, but he got out of his office and various and sundry meetings to see how Ryan was doing. He was relieved to see him looking healthy and rested, but Clay found himself wondering how much work Ryan had to do, if it was too much for him. The couple of times he headed over to talk to the younger man, Ryan either shook his head and turned away, or was concentrating so hard that he didn't feel right disturbing him.

It was strange. Ryan had always been more than happy to stop work for a few moments to talk to him, had used to bring him coffee when he got some for himself, had angled for chances to talk with Clay. Was Ryan having more than morning-after jitters now? Or was Ryan relaxing since he knew he'd get another time, and probably more than that, with Clay? He hoped it was the latter. He made a mental note to call Ryan tonight, if he got in early enough, or in the morning, and make a date for tomorrow night or Sunday, or both.

He still hadn't talked to Ryan when he left to get the crawfish from the fish store and pick up the other ingredients for the etouffee. He was looking forward to making the dinner and spending time with his friend, even though AJ probably would at some point in the evening announce he'd decided to have sex only with women and give Clay that belligerent look he got when he was unsure of himself. There was a slight hope AJ would tell him he wanted a sexual relationship, but he doubted it. AJ was Navy, with all that meant to him.

It was AJ's choice, and AJ's loss. He'd be fine. After all, he had Ryan, at least for a while, and he and AJ would stay friends. It would be better between them with this matter settled.

*****

AJ left JAG earlier than usual on Friday and cleaned his kitchen, never minding that it was already shipshape. Clay was coming to cook, and his kitchen was damned well going to be in the best shape it ever had been.

He mopped the floor and thought about Clay. How the hell had he deluded himself so long? And why? One reason, he knew, was because of the Navy's rules about homosexual conduct, but it wasn't the only reason. He'd been scared for his career, and even more, scared how admitting he wanted Clay changed how he saw himself. So he'd pretended, to himself and to Clay, that he was still the tough SEAL who was helping his friend, even after Australia and the nights he and Clay had spent together. It was hard admitting he wanted Clay in his life, even harder admitting he wanted Clay in his life as his lover. A man as his lover, as his companion, as his partner, he knew now he wanted. But he hadn't known before, and he'd treated Clay badly.

He grimaced and wrung out the mop. Clay should have broken *his* nose, but he hadn't. Clay had been patient with him, had put up with a lot of shit from him. Somehow he'd make it up to Clay.

The thought of how Clay would take his going to Langley and talking with Ryan crossed his mind, but he brushed it off. He hadn't done anything wrong. Ryan Devlin wasn't right for Clay. Even Ryan knew that. And Clay couldn't want that kid for keeps. He was just convenient. Clay would be much better off with him.

He frowned and dunked the mop into the water harder than he meant to, and glared at the resulting gush of water over his floor, his shoes, and the bottom of his pant legs. He wanted Clay in his life, permanently, but he still had to convince Clay of that. Well, he wasn't a lawyer for nothing, and he wouldn't let up until he got what he wanted: Clayton Webb.

*****

Ryan rubbed his eyes. He could stop work now and head home. Home for a quiet night watching TV, or he could go to some bar or other and see about finding someone to spend some time with. He squelched the twinge that thought gave him. He and Clay were over. He'd seen AJ Chegwidden and known that was the guy Clay really wanted, and in that moment, he'd decided that it was more important that Clay be happy than that he try to hold on to some kind of relationship with Clay that he knew couldn't last. He'd had the one night with Clay, and no one could take that away from him. He'd find someone else, someone better for him.

He shut down his computer, then stood. He'd go out for dinner, then hit a bar. Move on. Try again. Clay wasn't the only good-looking guy in the world.

"Hey there."

Ryan turned around to see a tall, lanky man grinning at him, the man who'd come into the bathroom to find Clay, but who'd ended staring at him in a way that made him feel warm inside. He couldn't remember the man's name.

"Hi."

"Don't think we've met. Evans, Lindsey Evans." He held out his hand, and Ryan took it. Nice and warm, and he was still grinning. He liked that grin. "And you're Ryan Devlin, right?" Evans let go of his hand.

"Right." He wanted to ask why the other man had been looking at him with so much interest the other day, but didn't. Maybe he'd reminded Evans of someone, or maybe Evans was just the kind of guy who stared at other guys. Maybe... maybe he'd thought Ryan was cute. Ryan liked that idea. Evans was good to look at, even in the suit that looked so wrong on him.

"I work for Mr. Webb." Evans sounded proud of it. "Drive him crazy, too." The pride was gone, and a look of bewilderment spread over his face. "I'm not sure why, but he tells me I do, so I must. Mr. Webb wouldn't lie."

Evans could say what he wanted, but Ryan wasn't going to comment on anything Clay did to one of the people who worked for Clay. That would be a bad idea. "Was there something I could help you with?"

It didn't matter that it was Friday afternoon, and he'd been thinking of leaving. He knew his duty. If an agent needed him, he would get on the computer and do what it took. The CIA did important work, and he was helping in that. It made him feel proud to do so.

"I hope you'll help me out. See, I've got tickets for the Orioles game tonight, and I hate going there alone. I'll buy the hot dogs. You like hot dogs?" Evans was grinning again, and Ryan really liked how that grin looked on him. He could go to a bar tomorrow night.

"That would be great. How much for the ticket?"

"Hey, I asked you. No charge. Do you like hot dogs? I'll get some beer, too, unless you don't like beer."

Ryan found himself being tugged out of the room. This Lindsey Evans was irresistible, he decided. Good thing he didn't want to resist. He still wasn't sure the other man wasn't just looking for a companion for a baseball game, but either way it was fine. "Beer is fine, and so are hot dogs."

"Great! Call me Lindsey, or Lind, or even Evans. I answer to just about anything. You got a car here? 'Cause it would be better just to take one. I'll make sure you get back here safe and sound. We can make a night of it, since there's no work tomorrow."

Ryan was laughing at how definite Evans was. "You take over everything?"

Evans pushed the elevator button and laughed. "Yeah. Sorry. I get pretty pushy. Just hit me if it's a problem.

Ryan smiled. "Hope I won't have to do that."

Evans was grinning again and motioned him into the elevator. "Me, too. This is great, you being free tonight."

Ryan kept his smile, although for a moment it was difficult. Yeah, he was free. But he wouldn't be free forever.

The elevator door opened, and Evans headed out. "We'll miss batting practice, but I know a shortcut, so we should make the first inning."

"Sounds good." He liked baseball, and Evans was certainly cheerful company.

*****

"Hi, AJ. May I come in?" Clay, even loaded down with two paper bags, was polite, but AJ hadn't expected anything else.

"Of course. Let me take that."

"No, I don't think so." Clay held on to the bags and glared. "You just want to snoop. No snooping, Admiral, or I and my cooking skills and ingredients go home. Then what will you eat?"

AJ was worried for a moment that he was serious, but then there was a grin on Clay's face, and AJ let himself grin, too. "Absolutely, Mr. Webb. I've got some wine chilled, if you're interested in a drink."

Clay came inside when AJ moved away from the door. "Maybe later." He was following AJ to the kitchen. "I have some chopping to do. Some water?"

"Certainly." AJ got out a glass and filled it from the tap while Clay set down the bags and surveyed the kitchen. "Ice cubes?"

Clay nodded and kept looking. "It's going to be good to cook here."

There was a satisfaction in his voice that made AJ smile as he got the ice cubes out of the freezer, snapping them out of the mold and sliding two into the filled glass. Maybe it wasn't going to be that hard at all to get Clay back. Ryan was out of the picture, and Clay was acting like himself again. AJ handed him the glass of water and got a smile in return. Yes, this was going very well.

Clay pulled a chef's apron out of one of the bags and slipped the loop over his head, then tied it around his waist. "Well, AJ, if you're going to hang around, hand me the cutting board."

AJ grinned at that. "Is that an invitation?"

Clay was giving him one of his annoyed looks. "It's an order, AJ. I thought you knew about those."

AJ was already reaching for the worn wooden cutting board. "Aye, aye, captain," he teased, and Clay laughed and put a white package in the refrigerator. "Are those the crawfish?"

"Yes. Maybe I should have gone into the Navy. You think I could have had my own ship?" He started taking vegetables out of a bag and rinsing them in the sink.

"If you'd wanted it, I'm sure you would have done fine."

Clay laughed again. "That's good to know." He picked up a onion and peeled it, then sliced it. "How are things at JAG?"

"Fine." AJ watched Clay chop the onion slices quickly and efficiently. "And the CIA?"

Clay finished chopping the onion and put down his knife before he answered. "The same." He blinked, and AJ saw tears leak out of his eyes. "Onions do this every time."

Clay reached out for the roll of paper towels, but before he could pull one off, AJ tore one off and put it in his hand, then took one for himself. The sharp smell from the onion was making his eyes water, too.

"Thanks." Clay pressed the paper towel to his eyes. "The work never really stops, but that's good. If it did, I'd know that we weren't getting the information we need, or getting out the disinformation."

"A battle you can't win."

"Yes, but that's how it is." Clay sounded calm about it, and AJ decided to drop the subject, but there was something else he wanted to know. Maybe now was a good time.

"How was your date with Ryan?"

Clay swept the chopped onion into a bowl, then picked up a stalk of celery and started to chop it after rinsing off his knife. "I thought you'd be curious about that. It went fine."

Clay's voice had a note AJ didn't like, and then he reminded himself that Ryan was out of the picture. Whatever had happened between the two of them didn't matter now.

"That's good."

Clay finished the celery and picked up a bell pepper. "Yes." He sliced and chopped the pepper and added it and the celery to the bowl, then put aside and rinsed off the cutting board. "Was that all you wanted to know?"

No, but he wasn't going to ask if Ryan and Clay had had sex. "I thought you might want to talk about it."

"It was a good first date." Clay smiled as he dried the board, then the knife, and AJ didn't like the knowledge in that smile. "I'm hoping to spend the weekend with him."

AJ didn't say anything to that and kept his face calm. People did that all the time, he reminded himself, even though it wasn't something he'd do. If Ryan kept his word, there wouldn't be any weekend together. But still, it worried him that Clay wasn't giving up on Ryan. Clayton Webb could be very persuasive. He'd better make sure Clay knew tonight that he didn't need Ryan Devlin for sex any more.

Clay reached for a clove of garlic and started to peel the skin off. "Ryan's a good person. I like being with him." AJ drummed his fingers on the counter, and Clay smiled. "You don't like hearing that, AJ? Too bad." His smile was gone, and his voice was hard. "I told you I wasn't going to play your game any more."

"Listen to me, Clayton Webb!" AJ was across the room and glaring at Clay, who stood his ground. "I'm not playing any game. I want you. I was a fool, but I'm over that now. I want you in my bed."

Clay stared at him after his outburst, and AJ made himself wait for Clay's response. "Well. That sounds promising." It was Clay's driest voice, but it made AJ smile. Clay wasn't dismissing him. He had a chance. "But I can't just abandon Ryan. I don't want to. You may want me - "

"I do want you. I want you enough to break the rules of the military. Does that tell you anything?"

"Words, AJ. That's all I hear."

"You want actions?" AJ smiled. "Fine. I can do that." He reached for Clay's zipper. He'd wipe out the memory of whatever Ryan Devlin had done for Clay with pleasure, and in doing so quiet those images he'd seen while jerking off that kept haunting him as well, he hoped.

"No." Clay pushed AJ's hands away and frowned. "I'm cooking. Get out and leave me to it. We'll talk after dinner."

"That's fine, Clay. Just remember what I said."

"I'm not in the habit of forgetting things, AJ. Go. I'll call you when dinner's ready or if I need your help."

AJ nodded and left. He'd broken the ice, and he'd gotten to Clay. Now it was time to wait.

******

Clay let himself lean against the counter with AJ gone. This was an interesting development. AJ was willing to say he wanted him. Because of Ryan? Probably. He'd seen how pissed AJ got when he talked about spending the weekend with Ryan. But in a way, that didn't matter. AJ had said it, and he had meant it. Now it was up to him to decide if he was going to take AJ up on his offer. He wanted to, but it wouldn't kill AJ to have to wait and wonder like he had. He'd make AJ dinner, as he'd planned and as he wanted to, and he'd see what happened. There was still Ryan to think about. He liked Ryan and wasn't necessarily ready to give him up. Maybe he'd tell AJ he had to see how things went with Ryan before giving him an answer.

He reached for the clove of garlic and started mincing it. There was no rush, and he'd make AJ see that. He could deal with AJ Chegwidden.

*****

AJ glanced over at Clay, who was eating as calmly as if this were any other night they'd spent together. "Good food."

"Thank you." Clay smiled briefly, then turned his attention back to his plate.

AJ gritted his teeth and thought about bringing up the matter of who the hell Clay was going to be with, but once again decided not to. Clay had said they'd talk about it after dinner, not that they were talking about anything much during dinner. It was awkward as all hell.

"I hope Rabb's staying out of trouble," Clay offered, and AJ seized at the opening.

"He's busy with cases."

"None seem to be anything he needs my help on. You'll tell me if anything comes up?"

"Rabb will tell you." AJ's voice was dry, and Clay chuckled.

"Of course. He always does."

There was more silence, then AJ forked up another bite of the crawfish etoufee and found it was his last. He savored it, then sighed with satisfaction. "Better than any restaurant."

Clay smiled and folded his napkin. "Of course. I told you I could cook."

AJ smiled back. This was more like it. "You certainly did tonight. How about some coffee?"

"No, thank you. I'll clean up and head home."

"Like hell you will." AJ reached across the table and grabbed Clay's arm.

Clay didn't pull away. "What's the problem, AJ? I thought I'd give Ryan a call, see if he'd be up to a late date." There was a challenge in his voice and eyes that infuriated AJ.

"So you've decided to stick with that kid over me?"

"That 'kid' is a fine person." Clay's voice was cold. "I don't appreciate you putting him down. He knows what he wants and goes after it. I'd think you'd respect that."

"Not when he's going after what I want." AJ's fingers tightened on Clay's arm. "I want you."

"You said that already, and I'm not doubting you. This is between me and Ryan."

"Fine. Call your Ryan. See if he's free. I wouldn't want you to miss out on some sex." If Ryan kept his word, he'd say no to Clay, and that would be that. If Ryan didn't, he'd deal with it. He took his hand away. "Call him."

It took Clay a moment, but then he nodded and took out his phone. AJ watched as he dialed a number. Had it in his head, did he? Well, Clayton Webb was a smart man. It didn't mean as much as it might for another man.

Clay's lips tightened, then he hit the disconnect button and put away the phone. AJ hoped he was keeping his smile off his face. So Ryan Devlin wasn't there or wasn't answering. Either way, it was good.

"I guess I've got more of a chance with you now," AJ said casually and stood. "I'm going to make that coffee. I got some dessert, too. Why not have it with me?"

"Where the hell is he?" Clay muttered. "He can't be avoiding me. I swear it was going well."

The hurt in Clay's eyes got to AJ. He knew he shouldn't tell him this, but dammit, Clay deserved the truth. And if they were going to have any chance of making this work, it had to be on a basis of truth. Lies or even omissions came back in time, he knew that very well.

"I talked to him, Clay. Not to warn him off you. Just to find out who he was."

"I'm surprised I didn't get complaints about you," Clay said after a long moment. AJ wished he could tell if Clay was angry, but Clay's tone was too neutral.

"The only one who could have complained was Mr. Devlin."

Clay nodded. "And what did you talk about?"

"He told me he knew you wanted someone else. That the someone else was me. That he wouldn't try to keep you." AJ saw the hurt in Clay's eyes deepen to pain, and wished he could take that pain away. "He wants you to be happy."

Clay took a long breath. "He makes me happy."

"He won't even fight for you, Clay. What kind of lover is that?"

"He's young."

"He's a coward."

"You wouldn't know how brave he was." Clay stood, and the pain was gone from his eyes, replaced by anger.

"You're right. I wouldn't. I've never been brave enough with you. I'm sorry. I should have told you that I wanted you as my lover, not waited and expected you to come on to me. I think I wanted to be able to think it was your choice, not mine, that I was still AJ Chegwidden who didn't want a man. It frightened me, Clay."

Clay sat back down. "It frightened me, too, AJ. But I didn't run away."

"No, you never did. You were patient with me, and then you stopped being patient. I can't blame you for that, but I can ask you to give me another chance. I am asking you for another chance."

"It's not like you to ask, AJ. I'm used to you trying to order me and everyone else around." There was a glint in Clay's eyes, and it made AJ smile.

"Never works too well with you, I've found. Time for a new approach." AJ slid closer to Clay, putting his hand on Clay's thigh. "I want you, Clay. Please."

Clay reached down and moved AJ's hand off his thigh. "AJ, I came here sure you were going to tell me we were just friends. Stop pushing."

"It's Ryan. You're pissed about him. You want him."

"I'm not pissed about him."

AJ gritted his teeth. Clay hadn't said he didn't want Ryan. "I want you to fuck me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I want you to fuck me."

"AJ, you're pushing yourself, and you're pushing me. Let it rest for a while. There's no rush, is there?"

AJ shook his head, even though his opinion was there was no reason to wait and every reason to go forward. But if Clay needed some time to think about this, he'd give it to him. Not much time, though.

"All right." Clay stood. "You said something about coffee and dessert?"

AJ stood as well. "Yes. And I'll clean up. You cooked."

"We can both clean up," Clay said firmly.

"Whatever you say, captain."

AJ was gratified by the laugh that brought.

"I could get used to that title."

"Get used to it, then."

Clay didn't answer, just smiled and headed for the kitchen, and AJ followed him. This was going to work out. He could feel it. But he had to make good on his promises, and he would, after dessert.

*****

The game went into extra innings, and neither Ryan nor Lindsey were going to miss that, so it was twelve-thirty in the morning before they got back to Lindsey's car.

Lindsey yawned, then stretched his arms over his head before speaking. "Great game."

When his arms came down, his right hand ended up on Ryan's thigh. Ryan stared at it and wet his lips. So Lindsey was interested in him. He'd thought so, but every time he'd decided, Lindsey had done something that got him to question his conclusions.

"And great company," Lindsey added as his hand slid up an inch, so close to Ryan's hardening cock that Ryan could feel the warmth of Lindsey's fingers. He tried to keep his breathing from getting harsh, with little success. "It's late. You want to come home with me? We can get your car in the morning. Or the afternoon."

Ryan made himself meet Lindsey's eyes. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not?" Lindsey had that puzzled look again.

"We just met." And they worked at the same place, but he didn't think he needed to say that.

"I want to get to know you. Is it that you're not into guys? I was pretty sure you were, but I've been wrong."

Lindsey's face was more than puzzled; it was upset, and Ryan discovered he didn't like seeing Lindsey Evans upset. He made up his mind.

"I like guys. I like you. How about you drive us back to my car, and I'll follow you back to your place?"

"Sure, if that's what you want." The hand slid up a little more, and Ryan gasped as Lindsey's fingers traced his cock through his pants. "But I want you, and I don't see why we can't have some fun."

Right now that sounded good to Ryan, but they were in a car in a half-full parking lot. "My car." His voice was a whisper.

Lindsey sighed. "Right." He took his hand away and got the key into the ignition. "You're not pissed, are you?"

"No. But I don't know if I'm going to be in any shape to drive after that."

"See?" Lindsey put the car into drive and headed toward the exit. "You come home with me. If you end up deciding that sex isn't what you want, you can sleep on the couch. I hope you don't do that, though."

It all seemed so simple to Lindsey, Ryan thought, belatedly putting on his seatbelt. And he liked that attitude. Being with him was certainly helping to take his mind off Clay, and he was glad of that. His relationship with Clayton Webb was over, and here was a chance to move on and a person to do that with.

*****

Ryan stood in the middle of Lindsey's living room. There was a couch, a lamp, a chair, a television set on a box. That was it, and Ryan wondered how much time he spent here, or if he just didn't care.

"I know." Lindsey had another of his grins on his face. "Boring, huh? I need to do something with it." He waved his hand vaguely around the room. "Maybe a picture or two?"

"Maybe." Ryan found himself smiling. This was different from Clay's place, and that was good. He didn't want to think about Clay now. He was with Lindsey, and he wanted to be with him.

Lindsey shifted in place. "Um, well, how about some coffee?"

"Sure, if it wouldn't be too much trouble."

"No trouble." Lindsey turned and left the room before Ryan could say any more. Maybe he was nervous? But he'd been so sure in the car.

Ryan decided to find out where Lindsey had gone. He found him in a small kitchen, staring at the coffee dripping into the carafe as it brewed. "Hey."

Lindsey jumped. "Hey." Then he grinned at Ryan. "This is so dumb. I want to get my hands on you, and I can't even get myself to stop watching this thing."

Ryan smiled back. "We could have the coffee later." He wanted to find out what it would be like with Lindsey.

"Yeah?" Lindsey's face lit up. "Great." He reached out and pulled Ryan up against him. "You are so cute."

"You, too," Ryan got out. He took a breath, then found Lindsey's neck with his lips.

Lindsey gasped and pulled him closer. "Wow. You're something else."

They were going to make love, Ryan knew, and he wanted that. He ground up against Lindsey. Wanted Lindsey. Was going to have Lindsey.

"Want to go to the bedroom?"

Ryan pulled back a little, enough to see Lindsey's face and that smile he really liked. "Yes." He swallowed. "One thing. I've never been fucked."

"Me, neither. Guess we'll have to figure it out together."

Together. Ryan felt his smile spreading over his face. He'd thought he wanted a man who'd had lovers, who knew what he was doing, and he had, but now he wanted to find out how Lindsey liked it, how they could be together. There was something about this man that was right, something that made him feel really good, and it wasn't just the sex. But he did want sex.

"We can do that." He reached up to touch Lindsey's cheek. "Show me your bedroom."

"Guess I'm not going to have to drive you back to your car yet?"

"Guess not." There was no way he was leaving here tonight.

*****

"It's late." Clay put down his cup. "I should go."

"No." AJ put his hand on Clay's thigh again and hoped this time Clay would let it stay there. They'd had chocolate, which was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, not that he needed one. "You should stay here with me."

"And sleep in the guest room, as usual?"

"No. With me. After you fuck me."

Clay frowned. "AJ, you've never even been interested in anything like that before. What changed your mind?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me."

AJ stroked Clay's thigh as he answered. "I couldn't stop thinking of you with Ryan. Couldn't stop thinking of what you had to be doing with him. Like fucking him."

"I didn't fuck him."

"I didn't know that." But it was good news.

Clay spread his legs a little more, and AJ's fingers moved to take advantage of that. "So now you want me to fuck you." His voice was a whisper.

"Yes. And not just because of him. Because it's something you want."

"Who said I wanted that from you?"

"You don't?"

Clay laughed low in his throat, and AJ licked his lips at how sexy Clay sounded. "Oh, I want it. Just like I want you to fuck me. Think you can do that, Admiral?"

AJ groaned as Clay's hand pressed down on his crotch. "Dammit, Clay, yes."

"Good. Come on." Clay took his hand away and moved AJ's hand off as well. "We can get started now."

"And Ryan?" What was with him, pressing down on the sore place right away?

"From what you said, Ryan's made up his mind to move on. And I want to be with you." Clay stood. "Come on, AJ. You said you wanted me. Was that all talk?"

The taunting in Clay's voice got AJ right up off the couch. "Hell, no," he growled, then reached out to pull Clay against him.

Clay laughed again and got a hand on AJ's back and the other on his ass. "Nice," he murmured and squeezed. "I've wanted to fuck you for a long time, AJ. This will be good."

AJ swallowed. Getting fucked. He would keep his word, and he would not let Clay see that the thought of that was unnerving. He'd brought it up, he reminded himself, and the reminder didn't help. But Clay's lips fastened on his neck, and AJ's doubts burned off in the fire that brought up in him. Clay would make it good. He would be what Clay needed. Clay was his and would stay his.

Clay pulled back. "Go to the bedroom. I'll be there in a minute." He paused. "Or maybe you want to do this in the guest room."

AJ stared at him icily. Clay didn't have to keep bringing up the times he'd stayed over in the guest room. That was the past. "You plan to be that bad at fucking me?" Clay shook his head, still smiling. "Then don't say stupid things."

"Domineering," Clay murmured, still smiling. "Yes, Admiral. Your bedroom."

AJ wet his lips and headed for his bedroom. He had taken off his shoes and was unbuttoning his shirt when Clay entered. He had something in his hand, and after a moment AJ realized it was the bottle of olive oil. He knew what it was for: to ease Clay's entry into his ass. Olive oil. He tried to think if he had anything more suitable, but he couldn't. He'd never needed to use lubrication during sex.

"I like it." Clay glanced around the plain room, then fixed his eyes on AJ, who had stopped with his shirt half unbuttoned. "It's all right to tell me you don't want to keep going at any time, AJ. We can find something else to do." He walked over to the bed and put a napkin down on the nightstand, then set the olive oil on top of it.

"I don't go back on my word."

Clay's stare hardened. "I don't want this to be about your word. I want you to enjoy it."

"Aye, aye, captain." He hoped the reference would lighten the tension he felt from Clay, and Clay laughed after a moment.

"So I get to be captain here, too. I like that." Clay's eyes were gleaming. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

"You learned in college. I remember." AJ finished unbuttoning his shirt and shrugged it off as Clay started unbuttoning his. "Your roommate?"

"No. My roommates were all interested in sleeping with as many women as they could manage. I found some compatible people elsewhere."

And wasn't going to go into detail about them, but that was fine with him. He pulled off his pants, then sat down on the bed and watched Clay get undressed. It was always amazing to him to see the firm body that was hidden by the usual three-pieces suits, or tonight, the casual shirt and pants. Clay looked damned good stripped. AJ let himself admire Clay's ass as Clay put his pants with the rest of his clothes.

Then Clay turned around to face him, and AJ swallowed at the sight of Clay's erection. Clay wasn't any bigger than he was, he knew that, but this was the first time he'd looked at it and considered the possibility of it going into him.

"AJ. You'll want it when it happens. I won't do it otherwise." Clay smiled and walked over to sit next to him on the bed. "You'll want it enough to beg me to fuck you," he said in a low voice, and AJ had a hard time breathing. This was a very confident Clayton Webb, and while there had been times in the past when he'd felt Webb could be too confident, he was glad.

Instead of answering, AJ leaned over to kiss Clay. Clay wasn't going to have to do everything. Clay kissed him back, and he let himself enjoy the kisses and touching and closeness as his cock hardened. He trusted Clay. That had never been a problem.

Clay shifted, and AJ moved where he indicated, ending up with them both lying down on their sides, facing each other. "It's good to be here with you," Clay whispered, and AJ smiled at the joy in his face.

"Good to have you here." Good to have Clay where he belonged, in AJ's bed, not that kid's, but he wasn't going to bring that up again. Time to let that go.

Clay ran his fingers over AJ's chest, lingering over his nipples. Clay laughed softly when AJ moaned, and bent his head to suck one of the nipples into his mouth while his fingers wandered down to stroke AJ's cock. AJ bucked up into the touch.

Clay lifted his head, but kept his fingers on AJ's cock a moment more before releasing it as well. "On your front and spread your legs."

AJ was still for a heartbeat, then found himself moving. He wanted this, wanted whatever Clayton Webb was going to do to him next, wanted more that he didn't have words for, and he was going to have it.

The next thing he felt was a warm breath on his lower back, then even warmer lips. His cock was throbbing against the comforter, and he groaned as the lips moved down to his ass and pressed kisses there. He tried to keep still. He didn't want to come, and he was afraid that with much more of this, something he knew he liked, he would.

The lips were gone, and Clay's fingers were parting his cheeks. AJ groaned again. This was new, but he didn't want it to stop. Then there was that warm breath to go with the fingers, and the tongue this time. AJ had to move at that, thrust up to get more.

"Yes," he heard and realized it was his voice. He squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on that tongue licking him. He'd beg for this, but it also made him want something more, something in his ass.

The licking stopped, and he couldn't help groaning. What next? Whatever it was, he wanted it. He felt the bed shift as Clay moved. "Clay."

"Yes?"

"More, Clay. I want more."

"You'll get it. I promise."

AJ was going to answer that, but Clay pushed an oily finger into him, and he groaned again instead. That felt strange, and he fought with the urge to tell Clay to stop and go back to what he had been doing. Clay would do it if he asked, he knew that, but he'd given his word, and Clay knew what he was doing. Then Clay pushed in more, and AJ groaned again, this time from passion. He pushed his ass up to get more of that sensation.

"Do it, Clay."

"Soon." Clay worked in another finger, and that took a few moments to get used to, but the memory of that incredible burst stayed with AJ.

"Now, dammit," AJ growled, then Clay's fingers made that lightning sensation come back, and all he could do was groan and writhe.

"Yes, now." Clay's fingers withdrew. "It'll be easier if you get on your hands and knees."

AJ pushed himself up. His cock was hard and throbbing, and he wanted to reach over and touch himself, but he didn't want to come yet, and he thought he might. "Never felt anything like that before."

"Now you know the appeal." AJ heard something being ripped open, then there was something warm and blunt at the entrance to his ass. "Keep breathing, AJ. I'll take it slow, but you've got to help." AJ felt a kiss pressed to his spine and shivered. "I'll make it good for you."

"Make it good for you, too."

Clay didn't answer that, just kissed him again, then pushed into AJ, and AJ tensed. This hurt.

"If you want me to stop, say it."

Clay's voice was ragged, and that helped AJ decide. Like hell he was stopping. He gritted his teeth and thrust back, ignoring the pain that gave him. He was breathing in pants, and he could feel the sweat break out over his body, but Clay was in him, and it had to get better. He pushed back more and felt hair against his ass.

Clay groaned. "Jesus, AJ. That has to hurt."

He didn't want to think about that. It did hurt, but less now than it had, and he knew if he could get that sensation again, he wouldn't care about the pain. "I can take it. Fuck me, Clay."

"SEALs," he heard Clay mutter and grinned. Then Clay was fucking him, his cock thrusting in and out, and the first thrust brought back that pleasure. Why the hell had he been so stupid about this? Then he stopped thinking as Clay took hold of his cock and pumped it in time with his thrusts.

Neither of them lasted long. AJ groaned and thrust into Clay's hand and came, and a few seconds later he felt Clay's cock pulse inside him and knew from that and from Clay's cry that he'd come, too.

Clay kissed his back again, then pulled slowly out. AJ winced, but controlled it.

"What was that about SEALs, Webb?" He tried to sound fierce, but he knew he didn't manage, and he didn't really care.

Clay chuckled. "Don't know what you're talking about, AJ. I'm going to wash off and get some sleep. You might want to do the same."

AJ laughed, even though his ass was throbbing. The discomfort would go away. What mattered was that he'd done what he'd set out to do, enjoyed it, and made Clay his, whether the other man knew it or not. He'd know it in time. AJ would make sure of that.

*****

AJ rolled over into a warm body. Clay's body, he realized as he woke, and smiled. He nuzzled into his neck and slid one arm under Clay and the other over him. Clayton Webb was in his bed, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy. No, he could. Australia, the last time he'd been with Clay.

Clay stirred against him. "Want to fuck me?" The drowsy voice was soft, but clear.

Hell, yes, he wanted to fuck Clay, but he wasn't going to do that now. He was too tired to do anything more than hold Clay and sleep. "Go back to sleep, Webb."

"Do you? It's been a while, so take it slow. I'm not a gung-ho SEAL." Clay sounded more awake now, and AJ growled.

"You got something against SEALs, Webb?"

"You asked me that in Rome. No, nothing. All the ones I've slept with have been great guys." Clay turned over to face him, a smile on his face.

"And how many SEALs have you slept with?"

"Just one."

AJ knew from the smile on Clay's face he meant him. "Good."

"You doubted it?" Clay's voice was teasing.

AJ shook his head. "No. Clay, I want to fuck you, but not now. You made it good for me, and I want to make it good for you. Later. Too tired now." He yawned.

Clay's smile turned into a steady look. "All right, AJ. That's fine."

"Now back to sleep. No need to get up yet."

Clay nodded and turned back over as AJ punched his pillow, then settled into it. Clay was here, and they understood each other. If he had his way, Clayton Webb wouldn't be going anywhere until late Sunday night or Monday morning. And he intended to get his way.

*****

Clay steeled himself and crossed the room to Ryan's desk. "Ryan."

"Hi, Clay. Nice day for a Monday, huh?" Ryan looked up at him with his ever-ready smile, but Clay could see that there was something different about it. The puppy-dog eagerness was gone, and in its place was a warm confidence that made him smile to see.

"Yes. How are you?" This was awkward, but it needed not to be.

"Fine. How about you?"

"Fine." He thought about asking about Ryan's weekend, but then Ryan might ask about his, and he did not want to talk about it in public. "Nice flowers."

Ryan's face brightened even more at that. "Yeah." He reached up to touch the nearest flower, a red carnation. "From my boyfriend." There was a moment of unease on Ryan's face, and Clay knew it was from worry that he'd be upset.

"Lucky guy."

Ryan let out a breath, and the unease was gone. From the smile he'd seen on Evans' face and the way Evans was looking over at them now, Clay was willing to bet Evans was the boyfriend, and he found that the thought gave him a mild ache, but nothing he couldn't live with. He and Ryan hadn't been right for each other, and he was glad Ryan had found someone else.

"Any chance you'll be getting flowers from anyone, Clay?"

Clay smiled and shook his head. "I doubt my friend will be sending flowers."

"But it's good with him?"

"Yes, Ryan. Thank you for talking with him."

"I'm glad it turned out all right. It did, didn't it?"

"Yes."

Ryan's smile broadened. "Did for me, too. Why don't you take a flower? I've got plenty."

"He'd want you to have them, not me." He nodded toward Evans as he spoke and saw the reaction in Ryan's face. Yes, he'd been right. It was Evans. "Thank you for the offer."

He turned away and headed toward his office. Evans was headed toward him, and he stopped. "Yes, Evans?"

"I thought you'd want to look at this file. It says something totally different than the others we've been looking at."

He'd have to ask Ryan another time if he'd told Evans about them. "Good work, Evans. You can show me what you found now."

He saw Evans' astonished look at his praise, and smiled to himself. Evans was going to be a fine agent, and he could hope that Ryan would be a settling influence on him. Evans looked to have already helped Ryan believe more in himself.

He headed back to his office, with Evans behind him. He'd see AJ at times, and other times they'd both be busy, but he'd be in AJ's bed, and AJ in his. Good to have this settled. Good to have someone in his life to depend on.

The End

Posted 1/7/02-1/9/02

Endnote: This is the crawfish etouffee recipe I had Clay use, from Gumbo Shop: Traditional and Contemporary Creole Cuisine: A New Orleans Restaurant Cookbook, by Richard Stewart, 1999, p. 60.

½ cup butter
1/4 cup flour
3 cups chopped onion
½ cup celery
½ cup chopped green bell pepper
2 tsp minced garlic
½ tsp basil
½ tsp black pepper
½ tsp white pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt (or to taste)
1 tsp paprika
½ tsp Tabasco sauce
1 1/4 cup shrimp stock or chicken stock
1 lb. crawfish tails
1 Tbsp chopped parley

Set a large heavy-bottomed Dutch oven over a medium heat. Melt the butter, add the flour and make a roux the color of peanut butter. Add the chopped onion, celery and bell pepper. Cook until the onions are translucent and the celery and bell pepper are tender. Add the garlic, basil, black pepper, white pepper, cayenne pepper, salt and paprika and cook for two minutes. Stir in the Tabasco sauce and stock and bring to a gentle boil. Add the crawfish tails, green onions and parsley. Simmer for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve over steamed rice. Serves 4.

JAG

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