Still
<Summer>

I should have read the article of Ria Ranario entitled, "Don't Fall in Love with a Peemayer". That might have somehow guided me to shield my heart from you before it was too late. I never regret meeting you, much as I never thought that I would fall in love with you. And I still do. I admit that aside from the basics, you were practically a stranger but I still trusted you and held on to your promises. I don't know what hit me and why I fell in love with you. In the very short span of time we spent, I've been lucky to have remarkably nothing to regret on how you’ve invaded my life. You're not the first military man who tried to catch an elusive me. But when you came, everything changed. My friends will definitely laugh at me for the Summer they knew who has always been dominating, in command and high-spirited turned out to be a submissive kitten to a man that she never even knew well. And though I wanted to know the real you, your family, your childhood, your yearnings, your dreams - you didn’t give me a chance. After two years of getting over a failed relationship, I decided to forget all doubts and accept a man that I thought was the one for me. They say in love you have to take a risk, and so I did. Just when I realized that I am ready to trust again, just when I accepted all the consequences that I could think of being involved with a man like you, just when I thought I found the person that will fill the emptiness in me, just when the time came and I was about to tell to my family and friends that I'm ready to commit again and that I will be introducing a very fine and dignified man to them…you vanished without a single word. I'm lost without anyone to turn to for there was no other human being that I shared my innermost soul and my mind with completely. I’ve spent so many days in deep thought, trying to find the answers, trying to figure out how I felt. Then came a text message from a friend who didn't have a clue what I was going through. The message read, "Always take a chance. The end result may not be what you hoped for but that's fine. At least you will never go thru life wondering ‘what if’ or ‘only if’." I took it seriously. A woman in love could be so foolish indeed. I even attended novenas regularly hoping for a sign that would tell me to hold on and that one day you will come back. I did all that I could just to reach you but in the end, the means I took made me lose the confidence, respect, and pride I used to have. It has been six months since the last traces of our communication through text messages. Even without your presence, I still loved you. But now I don't know anymore if I can still hang on to the love that never was. Your face, your smile, your voice still haunts me to this day and I cannot bear to forget you. But I know what to do. I know that I have to accept that it is all over. I have to accept that the chance is gone, and that you are happy without me though I am hurting with that truth. But I know I have to move on and pick up the pieces again. Maybe someday the tears will stop flowing and that my heart would stop longing for you. Someday…

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