Anthrax Discovered!!

It has come to the attention of the Jorge Julio web site and it's staff that there is a substance out there called Anthrax, which the public has probably never heard about. We're not quite sure what this "Anthrax" does, but we're pretty sure that it has something to do with turning people into a rockin' metal band. 

The Utah Soup Flats seen here are said to be so thick that a man can stand on them! They are, of course, located near the Great Soup Lake, which is really big and yummy. Mmmm, soup!

When informed that this terrible bad stuff was being used by terrorists, our own Jorge "God" Julio was quoted as saying, "I like cheese!" After eating some cheese, Julio put his Ripken cloning efforts temporarily on hold, and then sprung into action! Jorge Julio was then a man dedicated to one cause, an anthrax information gathering dynamo the likes of which have never been seen in rural Minnesota.

Julio soon discovered the horrifying truth... terrorists are putting Anthrax in our soup. That's right ladies and gentlemen, the nation's most precious natural resource, our soup, is the next target sighted by evil terrorist-type guys. Julio then traveled to ground zero: Soup Lake City, Utah, home of the Great Soup Flats.

As you can see, the new Anthrax group is located above all of the others, including the essential soup group. Look out brave people, ANTHRAX IS NOT A CONDIMENT!

After talking it over with many specialists in the field, the outlook seemed pretty bleak. "Nothing is safe," said soup expert Chunky Campbell, "not chicken noodle, not tomato, not even broccoli and cheese. These terrorists have their target pointed at our soup supplies, and not even Donovan and his mama are safe!"

Even more bad news followed, as Julio noticed doctored copies of the food pyramid being distributed by a company called "We're not terrorists... really! Inc." These doctored copies attempted to sway people into putting Anthrax into their own food supply, in essence doing the terrorists work for them! We at the web site were shcoked to find out that the terrorists are not only jerks, but they're lazy jerks as well! "The worst part," said Mrs. Grass, "was how the Anthrax was right over the soup group. Those monsters!"

Be like Julio, and eat the breakfast fit for a God!

Jorge "God" Julio attempted to get to the bottom of this mystery, and a had a long talk with the president of the company responsible for the misprinted pyramids, a Mr. Osama Bin Ladenerrnowaitcan'tsaythatmynameisladenit'sactuallyummmthinkosama thinkummmsmithyesthat'sitsmith. After commenting on the length of the president's name, Jorge commented on the food pyramids. Apparently there was a mix up in printing, and the company has promised to "...give the American scum exactly what's coming to them." So good news on that front!

Jorge has since returned to the United Arab Emerates to continue the Cal Ripken cloning endeavor, but promises not to give up on his fight for clean soup. Until then Jorge reccomends that you instead purchase a box of Julio flakes! More on this story as it becomes available.

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