My Thoughts on Football

With the hot stove season in full swing now that the winter meetings have ended, Julio is bored! Endlessly negotiating contracts can be trying work! It's always "Julio, we'll pay you this much to play with you!" and "Oh Julio! What can we do so that you'll make us Orioles??" Well, I'm sorry, but not everyone can join the team! We're currently deciding which players best compliment me so that I no longer have to carry the team on my (more than capable) shoulders.

With that being said, Jorge Julio can't sit around idly and do nothing! Putting my AIDS research temporarily on hold, I've decided to give you my take on the National Football League!

The Baltimore Ravens- Obviously favorites to win the Super Bowl. Even though Julio doesn't play for this team, just playing in the same city may give them enough residual juju to be able to pull off a win! And if not, then Ray Lewis can always just stab somebody.

The New England Patriots- No matter how many wins these guys squeak out, they'll never go all the way. Why? Because they angered Julio by not only not signing Sam Adams... who should be a Patriot... but also by releasing Lawyer Milloy, and breaking up the team of Lawyer and (Ty) Law. No one has ever so angered Julio and been rewarded.

Dante Hall- Hrmmm... been awfully quiet lately. He's no Julio, just a false idol.

Steve McNair- It is a CRIME that this man is still allowed to play professional sports. It's very obvious to me that he is not 100% human, but is in fact 90% testicle. Only Julio can play better injured.

The Indianapolis Colts- The team that left Julio's chosen home of Baltimore. They didn't have a chance up until recently when "Superstar" Brandon Stokely returned to the lineup. Now they are dangerous.

The NFC- Does this conference suck or what? NFC to AFC is like comparing Todd Frohwirth to Jorge Julio.

Donovan McNabb- Meh... Black quarterbacks are overrated.

Joe Horn's Cell Phone Call- Julio was amused. The NFL needs to encourage this behaviour. My next suggestion for an end zone celebration is to stick something sharp up Sean "I'm an assclown and I hate things that are fun or funny" Salisbury (steak)'s ass.

Super Bowl Pick The big one! Obviously, Jorge has already said that the Ravens have an excellent shot. They need only to win against the hated Steelers, and the Cleveland No Logos. I mean, seriously... what is a brown? Not even Julio knows! Why didn't they just call themselves the shit stains?

If not the Ravens, then Julio suspects that the... Philadelphia Eagles will win! Why? Because Philly is a mere two hours away from the magical winning glow of Julio.

Thank you all for reading! See you at the yard!

-Jorge "God" Julio

This site is best viewed at 1024x768, so if it looks big to you: TOUGH SHIT!!