Love Story for the ages

Taking a break from the craziness of Animal March Madness, we at the Julio site thought it might be prudent to actually do a baseball story! Will wonders never cease?

Ugueth Urbina is probably the biggest name free agent left unsigned in all of baseball, and he seemed content to ride out the year without signing a contract... that is until he got a plea from a close... close "friend" of his.

Direct from ESPN.com: "'Pudge has called me several times. He called three days ago. He said, 'I really want you to play with me,'' Urbina said. Urbina said his relationship with Rodriguez was a key factor in deciding to settle on Detroit."

Aside from the use of a quote of a quote of a quote, this is remarkable because it represents perhaps the first openly gay relationship in professional sports! I mean, Mike Piazza and Jeff Garcia... but they're always so discreet about which chap they're seeing. This... is something special.

They couldn't wait till they were off the field to start making out.

Urbina and Pudge's whirlwind romance began when they were both swept up into a Marlins team that seemed predestined to win... Perhaps they won with the power of love??

"It had to be some kinda love magic," said Jonathan Marie Xavier Schtuppleburger, a lifelong Yankees fan. "The Yankees are sooooo much better! Maybe we should convert our payroll and just buy three teams worth of Marlins next year?"

That intriguing proposition aside, it does seem odd that the Marlins were able to overcome everyone that stood in their path. Maybe the younger Marlins looked up to the happy couple like a child would towards their parents. If so, I think Pudge was the woman.

And you thought it was bad when they couldn't wait to KISS on the field!

Now with Urbina supposedly headed to rejoin his sugar daddy in Mo-town, can the love juju overcome the bad sports karma that's been building up over the years in Detroit? When you sell your soul to be that good at hockey, you can only expect your football and baseball teams to bottom out... Is the power of the Pudge greater than that??

"Suuuure!" said Jeff Garci-uh...Smith, a contributer to this article. "Gay means happy, and when are you happiest? When you're winning! Gay athletes are cool!"

When reached for comment, Jeremy Shockey was quoted as to say: "Homos."

More on this story as it becomes available.

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