Hermes: "Hello all you Gods and Goddesses on Mount Olympus, and welcome to another exciting episode of 'Survivor - BC' on the one and ONLY network for Godly entertainment, OracleVision. For those of you just tuning in, it's been nine years since the Greeks first laid siege to the people of Troy, and what a time we've had. This being the finale of the long running war, I, Hermes, will sporadically interview key players at integral points in the program. That being said, let's get to the action."

CUT TO OPENING SEQUENCE

Announcer Oracle: "Tonight, on a special final episode of 'Survivor - BC', we join the Greek army outside the gates of Troy. Twenty men have been locked tight inside the Trojan Horse, and the competition is on to see who can last the longest. The one to crack first will have to lead the midnight raid against Troy, a very dangerous maneuver, considering he'll only have nine-teen followers behind him. Hermes, the messenger God, caught up with Odysseus, the mastermind behind the Trojan Horse, shortly before he and his men loaded themselves into the wooden wonder."

CUT TO INTERVIEW WITH ODYSSEUS

Hermes: "Odysseus, building a massive horse in which to hide the Greek army was your idea, but how did you go about making it a reality?"
Odysseus: "Well, Hermes, just before the rest of the Greeks set out to fake a voyage home, a few hundred of us were sitting around, thinking of how to defeat the Trojans. I devised the plan of the horse, and the men and I built it in three days and three nights."
Hermes: "Interesting indeed. However, up until this point, the Trojans had the upperhand. What made you so sure you could even attempt such a daring plan?"
Odysseus: "If you remember, it was prophesied a while back that after nine years of fighting, on the tenth year, the Greeks would emerge victorious against the people of Troy."
Hermes: "So with a prophecy on your side, you feel you can win the war?"
Odysseus: "Exactly."
Hermes: "Well, back to the show."

CUT TO FOOTAGE INSIDE THE TROJAN HORSE

Greek Soldier #1: "What's happening out there?"
Greek Soldier #2: "I don't know. I think it's night though."
Greek Soldier #3: "Hey wait, I think I hear something!"
Greek Soldier #2: "What do you mean... hey... I hear it too!"
(all Greeks become silent as they listen)
Greek Soldier #3: "It sounds like my wife! Let me out of here!"
(Greek Soldier #3 darts for the side door of the horse, but is stopped by Odysseus, who clamps a hand over his mouth)
Odysseus: "I'll have you bound and gagged man, before I let one Greek fall victim to a mere illusionary trick. Fear not men, the voices outside you hear are not those of your wives, (one Greek man sighs audibly in relief and wipes his brow, invoking stares from some of the other soldiers) but of the woman Helen, for whom we fight. She is attempting to aid her lover, Paris, by fooling us into coming out of the horse prematurely."
Greek Soldier #3: "Yeah... I knew that (he coughs)."
(minutes tick by, and the Greeks become increasingly anxious)
(The soldier who had earlier sighed in relief winks seductively at one of the Greek spies, Sinon)
Sinon: "Ugh! Isn't it time to vote someone out of here?"
Odysseus: "All right Sinon, as you wish. This matter will be decided by a group council. Men, near each of your feet you will find a piece of parchment. I have a feather quill with me, and I shall dip it into this ink well conveniently installed over there (Odysseus gestures to a corner of the horse's interior). Pass it around, and vote out the man of your choice."
(all the men proceed to scribble down the name of the soldier they wish out of the horse)
Odysseus: "Now I'll read all the ballots. (He picks up the first one and reads the name) Hey... this one has my name on it!" (Odysseus looks menacingly at the men) "We'll have none of that. Here we go."
(He starts with a fresh ballot, and finds that most have voted for Sinon, though one is for the sighing/winking soldier.)
Odysseus: "Well, Sinon, it seems you have been chosen to convince the Trojans to let this horse inside their city walls. Good luck."
(With some protest from Sinon, Odysseus shoves him out the door of the horse, and closes it behind him)

CUT TO ANNOUNCER

Announcer: "Well it seems like poor Sinon now has to get that huge horse into the walls of Troy. Once again, here's Hermes with an exclusive interview with Sinon."

CUT TO INTERVIEW WITH SINON, THE SCENE IS OUTSIDE THE WALLS OF TROY, APPROX. MIDNIGHT

Hermes: "Sinon, as I understand, you now have the task of getting the Trojan Horse inside the walls of Troy. Any idea of how to do it?"
(Sinon is pacing, and looks up at Hermes)
Sinon: "Actually, I've devised a pretty good plan. I've decided to tell the Trojans that we Greeks have conceded the war and are offering them this horse as a gift, in honor of the Goddess Athena. She's already mad at Paris for saying that Aphrodite was fairer than her, so I'm thinking that that will aid us as well. If the Trojan Guards don't believe me, I'll just kill them."
Hermes: "Very good Sinon. Here's a clip of that event between Athena, Aphrodite, Hera, and Paris that Sinon mentioned. As always, I was there, reporting."

CUT TO VINTAGE FILM CLIP OF THE THREE AFOREMENTIONED GODDESSES AND HERMES, WITH PARIS, AT THE WEDDING OF PELEUS AND THETIS

Hermes: "You have been chosen by Zeus for an important task, young man."
Paris: "Huh?"
(Hermes places in Paris' hands the apple from Eris, Goddess of spite, which will go to whichever Goddess Paris chooses to be the fairest)
Paris: "Hey this apple is gold.."
Aphrodite: "Of course. Only a golden apple would be adequate for the fairest Goddess."
(Aphrodite flips her hair and bats her eyelashes at Paris)
Hera: "Out of the way toots, it's obvious that the fairest Goddess is myself, wife of Zeus. Choose me, Paris, and I'll fill your life with riches that are unimaginable."
Athena: "What good is love or money if you don't have power, wisdom, and adventures? Pick me, Paris, and you'll experience all of these!"
(Aphrodite is making seductive gestures in the background, insinuating that she will find Paris a beautiful woman should he choose her)
Hermes: "So, which one do you choose?"
(Paris gulps, and hands the apple to Aphrodite, who smiles beamingly, and promises him the love of Helen, the most beautiful woman in the world. She 'forgets' to inform him that Helen is already the wife of Menelaus, King of Sparta)
(Athena & Hera mutter curses and storm off. Athena makes it a personal goal to wreak havoc in Paris' life, when the right time comes along)

CUT TO ANNOUNCER

Announcer: "Well there you have it. The Greeks will obviously have the edge with Athena mad at the people of Troy. They just might pull it off."
(Another Oracle approaches the Announcer and whispers something in her ear)
Announcer: "I've just been informed that the slaughter of Trojans has begun! The Greeks have piled out of the horse and are now battling their antagonists! Now, back to the show."

CUT TO SCENES OF GREEK SOLDIERS KILLING EVERYTHING IN THEIR PATH, EVEN TROJAN INFANTS LAY DEAD IN THE STREET

Greek Soldiers: "Victory! In the name of Menelaus, King of Sparta and rightful owner of the woman Helen, we lay claim to her and the riches of Troy!"
(Helen is brought out from Paris' home by Greek soldiers, and is lead to a Greek ship, which has since returned and harbored in a bay)

(Dramatic fanfare plays, as Greeks load a ship with treasures, and themselves, and set sail home to Sparta)

CUT TO ANNOUNCER AND HERMES

Announcer: "It seems the Greeks are victorious."
Hermes: "It would seem that way. Guess what? We have some special guests! Joining us now are Athena, and father of all Gods, Zeus himself!"
(Zeus and Athena approach the Announcer and Hermes)
Athena: "I'd just like to thank the Greek army for building such a wonderful war device, and dedicating it to me, Goddess of War and Wisdom."
Zeus: "Despite Athena's warm feelings toward the Greeks, I don't feel quite that way. For multiple reasons, I would like to say to Odysseus, you may have defeated the Trojans, but can you withstand the wrath of Zeus, King of Gods? If your journey home seems to be, oh I don't know, fraught with many obstacles that may subsequently reduce the numbers of your men and possibly delay your return home by, and this is a rough number, twenty years or so, it just might not be a coincidence. That is all."
(Zeus and Athena leave, and the Announcer and Hermes exchange confused looks)
Hermes: "That was... interesting. Anyway, thanks for joining us on OracleVision, from Mount Olympus, this is Hermes for the Announcer Oracle, signing off."