I received a bread machine as a present for my birthday. Dale is, needless to say, thrilled since he simply adores fresh baked bread (who doesn't eh?).

So Dale thought (are you getting the idea that this was all Dale's idea???) that it would be so nice to have fresh baked bread this morning when we woke up. I had to agree.

So before bedtime I put in all the ingredients, set the timer and off to bed I go. At about 2:00am we are awoken (awakened?) from sleep to BANG, CLATTER, CLUNK, BANG, CLATTER, CLUNK.

My first thought - oh no - someone's pulled the machine off the counter!!!!

I jump out of bed - Dale calls from the other room - is that the bread machine??? Oh yes, I tell him....and it's possessed! Meanwhile - off in the dining room stands Bacchus - trembling - staring at the bread machine. Refusing to come into the kitchen for fear this contraption will surely (don't call me Shirley!) be the death of him. (Actually, I kinda thought the same thing too at 2:00am!) All this poor guy wants is out of the house and out now!

In the same instant, Athena is IN the kitchen, inspecting the machine. Which, by the way is still banging and clanking away. So I let Bacchus out - send Athena along with him and attempt to please the bread machine Gods. (It helps if you insert the bread pan correctly...just a little household hint for ya ;-)

I hit the stop button.....nothing. Now the banging and clanking is getting faster and louder and more violent. When all else fails - pull the plug! So I did. Ah, quiet at last. Go let the dogs back in....NO WAY says Bacchus. I'm not going in there! Bacchus, PLEASE come in - it's cold - I'm tired, and I've got to do something with this ball of dough. (By the way - the instructions say NOT to unplug the machine - for if you do, you have to throw away what's in the machine and start over....yeah right!...maybe if you're Martha Stewart!)

Finally Bacchus leans thru the doorway - takes one step in - another step - now he's halfway in/out. I lean over and push his butt in. Go back to the bread machine. Plug it back in - figure, what the heck, let's see what happens. Reprogram the machine, give Bacchus a reassuring hug and kisses, and go back to bed.

5:00am - wake up to the most wonderful aroma of bread baking. Look inside the machine...the loaf is lop-sided. Oh well - so what - I'm sure it tastes good. Finally get the loaf out of the pan - guess who's standing right beside me, nose in the air, almost on the countertop? Yup - Mr. Scaredy Cat himself....Bacchus. He was more than willing to help. He was also right there to help Dale when he cut up the loaf.

Slick Vic and The Killer Bread Machine.....oh yeah, The Roo Crew too The Roo Crew