Mystery Science Theater 3000's Mike Nelson looks at
Star Trek Generations
Kirk (William Shatner) passes the baton to Picard (Patrick Stewart) in the convoluted seventh installment of the “Star Trek” film series.
This 1994 adventure brings the characters from Star Trek: The Next Generation to the fore as they contend with a physicist (Malcolm McDowell of the New Fantasy Island), whose plan for eternal bliss involves the destruction of the Enterprise and a planet with 230 million people. All will be lost unless Picard is successful in soliciting the help of a familiar figure lost in another dimension. The cast includes an unbilled Whoopi Goldberg, and James Doohan and Walter Koenig (in cameos)
Cast: Jacqueline Kim, Tim Russ, Glenn Morshower, James Doohan, Walter Koenig, Alan Ruck, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, Malcolm McDowell
Now here's Mike Nelson:
I made the mistake of viewing three Star Trek movies in a row...it induced a kind of dopey sci-fi trance--not unlike the effect of eating a whole picnic ham and reading Heinlein. To be fair, none of the movies, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Star Trek Generations, and Star Trek: First Contact, was that bad (okay, Generations was); perhaps I'm just not as delighted as others by countless references to the Argothiman Wars of Trimon 5 or the Wasnon Ale from the Caltritian Moons. And I admit I'm not scientifically adroit (my kindhearted physics teacher called me an "idiot"), but the technical references I find rather numbing.
"Captain, the Valdothian tumomulators are reacting negatively to the pistoffrian faldovs," says Worf, to which Picard might say, "Then notify the Redallions that we'll be needing Tarcuthian crystals for our bluthons, and pay them with Asprithian Tufars! Make it so!" And then he tugs down his polyester top and Worf makes it so and apparently I'm the only one who's not happy.
I'm also hopelessly confused by the other races--if I've got this right, there are Vulcans, Klingons, Romulans, and Remus. All currently have unsightly bumps on their skulls, yet in the original TV-series they simply sported Rollie Fingers-like mustaches, correct? Some are good, and some are evil, yet all hate Kirk with a flaming passion that burns with the heat of a thousand suns. After seeing his death scene in Generations, I confess I share their passion.
On the subject of Generations, I need some help with the Nexus, too. From what I can gather, it's a large, static-electricity dryer spark that sucks you up into it and makes you live eternally in the dullest part of your life. For me that would mean seeing Generations over and over again. Then perhaps someday I'll understand why Soran (Malcolm McDowell) dresses up like Sting and stands on top of a mountain waiting to get hit by the giant dryer spark. He could save time by simply drying a load of sweatshirts.
Star Trek is, after all. a pretty good space opera, but the idea that Roddenberry was a genius is on shaky ground, and when you throw in Wil Wheaton and Guinan (Whoopie Goldberg) and all the aliens with the latex appliques glued to their heads, it all starts to seem uncomfortably similar to the things your first-year dorm-mate used to dream up when he was baked.
Come to think of it, I'm going to bake right now and try to make sense of the Nexus.
[Note: the above brief quote is from "Megacheese" which can be ordered from Amazon.com on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 page]. It is dedicated: "For the very real suffering they have endured...to the countless millions of courageous victims who have witnessed the feature film version of Lost In Space. You will heal."
© 2000 by Michael J. Nelson. All rights reserved. No part may be used or reproduced in any manner except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. The "J" stands for "Jenius"
117 min., Rating: PG for Strong Language, Violence Category: Movie, Action & Adventure Director: David Carson ------------------------------------------------------------------------Star Trek Pirates of the Caribbean Generations
"Star Trek Generations" is available on video and on DVD
As is the entire Star Trek Collection
Other movies released in 1994 included "The Shadow." I wonder what Mike Nelson thought of that one? Shadow movie review by Mike Nelson
Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan Monstervision review & host segments