While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, " FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS. "

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A blonde has just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cuts off a truck driver. He motions for her to pull over.

When she does, he gets out of his truck and pulls a piece of chalk from his pocket. He draws a circle on the road and tells the blonde, " Stand in the circle and DON'T MOVE ! " He then goes to her car and cuts up her leather seats.

When he turns around she has a slight grin on her face, so he says, "Oh, you think that's funny ? Watch this." He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.

When he turns and looks at her, she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.

Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car, and sets it on fire.

He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down. " What's so funny ? " the truck driver asks the blonde. She replies, " When you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle 4 times. "

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A milkman was making his deliveries and found a note attached to a customers door saying, " I need 45 gallons of milk. " He knocked on the door and a beautiful blond answered it.

" Is this a mistake ? " the milkman asked. " No, " she said, " I was watching a talk show and it said that bathing in milk is a good aphrodisiac. "

" Really, " replied the milkman. " Okay, do you want that pasteurized ? "

" No, up to my neck would be fine, " she said.

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A Raleigh, NC, motorcycle cop was on patrol one bright sunny December afternoon when he came upon a line of cars stopped at a light with horns blasting. He stopped behind the last car in line. Then he noticed the reason for the noise. The light directing that lane of traffic was green.

He pulled out of line and stopped alongside of the first car in line to see what the problem was. The car was a big red Cadillac with New York plates driven by a blonde. He motioned her to roll down her window, which she promptly did. He then asked her why she was stopped when the light was green.

She said, " Oh, because I'm on my way to my sister's house which is that way, " and she pointed to the right.

The motorcycle cop said, " Well, go ahead ! The light is green. "

The blonde responded with, " Yes, I know, but the sign under the light says :

" RIGHT TURN ON RED. "

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The signs warning of closed roads or detour, are frequently ignored in the rural area's, so the highway workers barely took notice when the blond haired woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the open trench they had dug in the middle of the road. The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way. The highway workers were surprised, however to see the same blond haired woman coming toward them from town a couple of hours later. " Oh, " she said distractedly as she again pulled up next to the trench crew, " Is the road closed in this direction too ? "

                 

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Three blondes are sitting in a bar chanting " 51 days. " After a while the bartender says to them, " Ladies, for the past 3 hours you have been sitting here chanting 51 days. Why ? " The blondes stop chanting and look up. " Well, " says one of the blondes, " we just finished a puzzle. " " So, What does that have to do with anything ? " the bartender asked. " Well, the box says 3 to 5 years. We finished it in 51 days, "

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She was soooooooooo blonde:

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

..she thought a quarterback was a refund.

..she thought Boys II Men was a day care center.

..she thought General Motors was in the army.

..she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

..she tried to drown a fish.

..she tripped over a cordless phone.

..she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said " concentrate. "

..she told me to meet her at the corner of " WALK " and " DON'T WALK "

..they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

..at the bottom of the application where it says " sign here " she put " Sagittarius. "

..if she spoke her mind she'd be speechless.