Stop telling GOD how big your storm is.
Instead tell your storm how big your GOD is.

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GLOOM BUSTERS
# 17 CONTINUED

~ THE SECRETS OF ~
JOY THAT MAKES
OUR LIVES HEALTHY

Look what I found for y'all to browse through !

AND
LAUGHABLE
* * * STORIES * * *

DIAGNOSIS :
Stressed Out !
PRESCRIPTION :
One Belly Laugh Every Hour Until Cured !
SOUND STRANGE ? Not really, according to experts. As far back as biblical times, people have recognized the power of humor in overcoming everything from stress to major illness.
It has a positive impact on virtually every system in the body, plus provides a boost to the immune system and reduces pain. Even in the toughest of circumstances, a dose of appropriately used humor can make a enormous difference. It can serve as a way to overcome fear, anger and stress, plus boost creativity and well-being.
And of course, prayer is the key that brings about this condition that will enable man to enjoy any humor and laughter in his soul.
PSALMS 126:2 " Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them. " VERSE 3 " The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. "

,- - - I SURE DID ~ PASTOR BILL ~ GOD BLESS Y'ALL

Music Now Playing :
" ONLY YOU "
     So Please Remember !
If this isn't the day that makes y'all happy.....
Then tell me, what day are y'all looking for ?
ONLY YOU, Can make a difference in other folk's life !


  NOTE: EVEN AS YOU MOVE YOUR CURSOR YOU WILL
FIND THAT MOSES AND THE EAGLES IN FLIGHT ARE
FOLLOWING JESUS !

THE NEW BRIDE
CALLS HER MOTHER
ABOUT
FOUR LETTER WORDS

   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE


A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
" Well, " said her mother, " so how was the honeymoon ? "
" Oh, mama, " she replied, " the honeymoon was wonderful ! So romantic.....
" Suddenly she burst out crying. " But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam
started using the most horrible language..... things I'd never heard before !
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words !
You've got to take me home..... PLEASE MAMA ! "
" Sarah, Sarah, " her mother said, " calm down !
You need to stay with your husband and work this out.
Now, tell me, what could be so awful ? WHAT 4-letter words ? "
" Please don't make me tell you, mama, " wept the daughter,
" I'm so
embarrassed they're just too awful ! COME GET ME,
PLEASE ! ! " " Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.
Tell your mother about these horrible 4-letter words ! "
Still sobbing, the bride said,
" Oh, Mama ..... he used words like :
Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook and Work... "

" I'll pick you up in twenty minutes, " said the mother..

SO ! THIS IS WHERE THAT
SAYING CAME FROM :
LIKE MOTHER , LIKE DAUGHTER

~ SMILE ~

**********************************************************

HEY YOU,
YES, YOU

ONLY YOU

Only you.....Can shake the mountains
Only you.....can calm the oceans
Only you.....hold the heavens in the palm of your hand
Tell me who.....can look inside me
Tell me who.....can purify me
Tell me who.....can love me deeply more than I understand
With just one hand you put the heavens into place
gave us life and gave the earth it's frame
who is man that you should touch him with your grace
And who am I that you should know my name
Only you.....can shake the mountains
Only you..... can calm the oceans
Only you.....can hold the heavens in the palm of your hand
Tell me who.....can look inside me
Tell me who.....can purify me
Tell me who.....can love me deeply more than I understand
~ ~ ~ ONLY YOU, SWEET JESUS ! ~ ~ ~


~ THANK YOU JESUS !!!! ~
~ KEEP SMILING ~

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   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE
~ THE ~
~ ~ ~               ~ ~ ~



~ A PAINTING~
OF
" A SON STORY ! "
~ THE SON'S PORTRAIT ~



A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection from Picasso to Raphael. They would get together and admire the great works of art.
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went off to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, " Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art. " The young man held out this package. " I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this. "
The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. " Oh, no sir I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift. "
The father hung the portrait over his fireplace mantle. every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other works he had collected. The man died a few months later.
There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection. On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gravel. " We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture ? " There was silence. Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, " We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one. " But the auctioneer persisted. " Will someone bid for this painting ? Who will start the bidding ? $100, $22 ? " Another voice shouted angrily, " We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the VanGoghs, the Rembrandts. get on with the real bids ! " But still the auctioneer continued. " The son ! The son ! Who'll take the son ? " Finally, a voice came from the back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. " I'll give $10 for the painting. " Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. " We have $10, who will bid $20 ? " Give it to him for $10. Let's se the masters. " " $10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20 ? " The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. " Going once, twice, SOLD for $10 ! " A man sitting on the second row shouted, " Now, let's get on with the collection ! " The auctioneer laid down his gavel. " I'm sorry, the auction is over. " " What about the paintings ? " I am sorry, when I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the portrait painting of the son would be auctioned. whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything ! "
God gave His son over 2,000 years ago to die on a cruel cross. Much like this auctioneer, His message to day is : " The Son, the Son, who'll take the Son ? " Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
~ THE SON'S PORTRAIT ~


**********************************************************

   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

~ A QUICK FIX ~
" MEDICAL STORY ! "
THE DEATH TOLL

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients
always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something
to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery.....
as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays.

So a World-Wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the
cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes
before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward
to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy
objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11.....Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday
sweeper, entered the ward and un-plugged the life support system so
that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<POOKIE!
~ CASE SOLVED, HUH ? ~

~ SMILE ~
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   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

~ SMILES ~
" FROM THE BIBLE ! "

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married ?

A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?

A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible ?

A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in

liquidation.

Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible ?

A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and

drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible ?

A. The Lord God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's

Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the Apostles were all

in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible ?

A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer

lived in Eden ?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible ?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy ?

A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible ?

A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents ?

A. Joshua, son of Nun.

~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~

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   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

~ CHURCH HUMOR ~
AND
" KIDS TALK AND PRAYERS ! "

~ Kid's Prayers ~
==============

I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the
Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would
repeat after me the lines from the prayer.

Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the
prayer :

" Lead us not into temptation, " she prayed,
" but deliver us some E-mail.
Amen. "
**************************

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was " acting up "
during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to
maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the
battle.

Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked
sternly up the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one
called loudly to the congregation, " Pray for me ! Pray for me ! "
**************************

And one particular four-year-old prayed,
" And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive
those who put trash in our baskets. "

**************************

A little boy was overheard praying: " Lord, if you can't make me
a better boy, don't worry about it.

I'm having a real good time like I am. "

**************************

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were
on the way to church service,

" And why is it necessary to be quiet in church ? "

One bright little girl replied,
" Because people are sleeping. "

**************************

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike
cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and
nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew
leaned toward her mother and whispered,

" If he gets loose, will he hurt us ? "

**************************

Eight-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Tony, were
sitting together in church. Tony giggled, sang and talked out
loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough.

" You're not supposed to talk out loud in church. "
" Why ? Who's going to stop me ? " Tony asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,

" See those two men standing by the door ?

They're hushers. "

**************************

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, Ryan, 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

" If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ' Let my
brother have the first pancake, I can wait. ' "

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
" Ryan, you be Jesus ! "

**************************

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year
old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the
shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

" Daddy, what happened to him ? " the son asked.

" He died and went to Heaven, " the dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said,

" Did God throw him back down ? "

**************************

After the church service, a little boy told the pastor,

" When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money. "

" Well, thank you, " the pastor replied, " but why ? "

" Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've
ever had. "

***************************

A wife invited some people to dinner.

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and
said,

" Would you like to say the blessing ? "

" I wouldn't know what to say, " the girl replied.

" Just say what you hear Mommy say, " the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,

" Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner ? "

***************************

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if
anyone could tell her what it was.

Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,

" Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife. "

****************************

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the
kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him
how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was
ill, and said, " Johnny what is the matter ? "

Little Johnny responded,
" I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife ! "

****************************

" Our father, who does art in heaven, Howard is his name..... "

****************************

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human, because even though it was a very large mammal
its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was impossible.

The little girl said, " When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah. "
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell ? "

little girl replied, " Then you ask him. "

~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~
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   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

~ THOUGHTS AND QUOTES ~
" FROM THE BIBLE ! "
THAT BURNS
THE DEVIL
AND HIS IMP'S UP

~ BOY, THOSE CHURCH FOLKS ~
AND THEIR DUMB SAYINGS,
REALLY BURNS ME
AND MY IMP'S UP !

~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~
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   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

" OLD BARNS "
HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH
OLD FOLK'S LIKE YOU AND I



A stranger came by my place the other day with an offer that set me to thinking. He wanted to buy the old barn that sits out on the corner by the highway. I told him right off he was crazy. He was a city type, you could tell by his clothes, his SUV, his hands, and the way he walked and talked. He said he was driving by and saw that beautiful barn with the old advertisements on the roof and side, sitting out on the corner and wanted to know if it was for sale. I told him he sure had a funny idea of
beauty.

Sure, I had to admit, it was a handsome building in its day. But then, there's been a lot of winters pass with their snow and ice and howling wind. The summer sun's beat down on that old barn till most of the paint's gone, and the wood has turned silver gray. Now the old building leans a good deal, looking kind of tired. Yet, that fellow called it beautiful..... Well, that set me to thinking. I walked out to the field and just stood there, gazing at that old barn. The stranger said he planned to use the lumber to line the walls of his den in a new country home he's building down the road. He said you couldn't get paint that beautiful. Only years of standing in the weather, bearing the storms and scorching sun, only that can produce beautiful barn wood. It came to me then. We're a lot like that, you and I. Only it's on the inside that the beauty grows with us. Sure we turn silver gray too..... and lean a bit more than we did when we were young and full of sap. But the Good Lord knows what He's doing. And as the years pass He's busy using the hard wealth of our lives, the dry spells and the stormy seasons, to do a job of beautifying our souls that nothing else can produce. And to think how often folks holler because they want life to be easy ! They took the old barn down today and hauled it away to beautify a rich man's house. And I reckon someday you and I'll be hauled off to Heaven to take on whatever chores the Good Lord has for us in His mansion on the Great Sky Ranch.

And I suspect, we'll be more beautiful then for the seasons we've been through here..... and just maybe even add a bit of beauty to our Heavenly Father's house.
~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~
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IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

" YUP ! "
I IS IN THE
YEWNITED STATES ARMY
CAUSE I LOVE GUNS

Subject: Ozark hills boy goes in the Army

Dear Maw and Paw :
Am well. Hope you air 2. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer
the Army beats working for Old Man Smith by a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before maybe all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.,
but I'm getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do
before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things - - no cows to milk, hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, or fire to lay
keep lit. Men gotta shave, but it ain't bad, they git warm water and can
you believe the outhouse is on the inside.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc.,
but kind of weak on grits, turnip greens, hog jowl, spare ribs, fatback, fried egg plant, buttermilk, pies and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit twixt two city boys that live just on coffee.
Their food plus yours holds you till noon, and then you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on " route marches, " which, the Sergeant says, are long walks to harden us . . . If he thinks so,
it is not my place to tell him different. A " route march " is about as far as
to our mailbox at home. Then them city guys' feet git all sore,
and we have to ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sergeant is like a ole school teacher . . . he nags some. The Captain is like
the school board, and the Colonels and Generals justride around and frown
. . . they don't bother you none.

This next 1 will just kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep gitting medals
fer shootin. I don't know why. The bull'seye is near big as a chipmunk and
don't move . . . and, it ain't shooting at you, like them Higgett boys down home. All you gotta do is lie there all comfortable like and hit it. You don't even load your own bullets cause they giv'em to you in them thar boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry up and join before them
other fellers git onto this setup and come stampeding in to this hear Army.

                                                                     Your loving son,
                                                                             Bubba

P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 for barn roof and ma's teeth. Them city boys shoot craps, but not very good.

                       " Yup, ole Bubba sure loves guns ! "

~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~
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IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

" A PARABLE IN ACTION "
THE GOOD SAMARITAN

Tim Hansel tells of a seminary professor who set up his preaching class in an unusual way. He scheduled his students to preach on The Good Samaritan. One by one they were to go from classroom to classroom, preaching love and compassion for others. Some students had 10 minutes between classes, but others had less time, which forced them to rush in order to meet the schedule. Each of the students had to walk down a certain corridor and pass by a " beggar " who had been deliberately " planted " there by the professor.
What happened was a powerful lesson ! The number of would-be-preachers who stopped to help this man was extremely low, especially those who were under the pressure of time ! Rushing to preach their sermon on The Good Samaritan, they all walked right past the beggar at the heart of the parable !
Today I read again these words : " I was hungry and you formed a humanities club to discuss it. I was imprisoned, but you just complained about the crime rate. I was naked, and you debated the morality of my appearance. I was sick and you thanked God for your health. I was homeless and you preached to me about the shelter of God's love. You seem so holy and so close to God; but I'm still hungry, lonely, cold and in pain. Does it really matter to you ? "

~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~
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" THE OZARK HILLS "
3 WISE MEN
COUNTRY HUMOR

In the small Missouri town of Ava, there was a " Nativity Scene " that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At the " Quick Stop " just off highway 5, going toward town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.

She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, " You darn Yankees never do read the Bible ! "

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.

Dancing with great joy and sticking it in my face she said...

" See, it says right here, The three wise man came from afar. "

~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~
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   STOP !
IF YOU HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

" CREDIT "
FOR FINDING THIS MESS
GOES TO THE FOLLOWING FOLK'S

~ ANITA MARIE ~  ~ PASTOR BILL ~  ~ LIL BRUDDER ~ If there is a complaint, advice or critical comment, these three folk's above are responsible for finding all of the above stories on the internet.
My daughter, Anita Marie, Me, Pastor Bill and My brother, Jack.
~ GOD BLESS YOU ~
P.S. HOW EVER, THIS GROUP IS NOT ACCEPTING COMPLAINTS AT THIS TIME,
AS IT COULD BE DANGEROUS TO OUR HEALTH & WELFARE,
DUE TO OUR OLD AGE, THANK YOU !

~ KEEP SMILING !!!! ~
**********************************************************

~ ~ ~ AND ~ ~ ~

Click on this banner and surf the web
by the Holy Spirit's Leading !

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~ GLOOMBUSTERS # 18 ~
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* * * IN HEAVEN ABOVE ! * * *

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JUST THINK, RIGHT NOW YOU COULD BE ENJOYING
THE OZARK HILLS WEATHER IN BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN:

PASTOR

A Vote From Y'all
Is Worth Crowing About
Thank You, Pastor Bill

PLEASE, PLEASE,
DON'T GET MAD OR UPSET
WE ALL NEED A LITTLE * * * HAPPINESS * * *
IN OUR LIVES, BUT
I'LL TRY TO BE GOOD !
NEXT TIME.
BUT HERE IS ONE SURE THING : " I'M HAPPY ! "
YUP, YUP, I SURE WILL TRY !