Prologue: “Ah, so that's why they let you run the Drama department for two weeks...”
It was a happy shiny smiley phile day in the middle of nowhere. The 2000 International Thespian conference had just ended and the entire troop (minus a few certain specific people, but we'll get to that later) boarded the plane from Oregon back to DC. Everything was going just great...that is, until the pilot started screaming something about killer cockroaches and decided to crash the plane in order to purge everyone of them. While, by some amazing feat, no one was seriously injured or even killed, they ended up crashing in the worst possible place...Roswell, New Mexico. And we all know what's in Roswell...yes, Area 51 and UFO landing sites, but that's not what I'm talking about...they ended up crashing in one of the largest radioactive testing sites the government has on the continental 48 states. Since they were all exposed to plausibly lethal doses of radiation, they had to be quarantined for up to four months in Area 51. Sounds fun, huh? Well, not when a certain specific musical was supposed to be put on in two weeks...
Part One: “Oh Toast, no…it can't be...I saw him die!”
“HOLY TOAST! Oh crap, what the heck are we gonna do? This is the most terrible horrible news they could've sent me! I can't believe the government had the gall to build a radioactive testing site there!” Ms. Dekraai, the assistant Drama teacher at Sweet Sunny Valley High exclaimed.
Just then, of course, the few drama students who were either in the musical or working tech for the musical and didn't go on the Thespian trip for one reason or another wandered into the way wicked cool drama room with a cow head on the wall.
“Look, after you add the vinegar then you absolutely have to add the baking soda or it won't work! That's why it went wrong!” Dani exclaimed.
“No, no, you've got it all wrong, potatoes just weren't meant to be made into rocket fuel,” Seifer tried to assure her.
“Hey, Danibelle knows what she's talking about! I've seen some of the stuff she's shot up into the sky, and there were definitely potatoes in that fuel!” Maggie added.
“Hey - little glowing lights and bottle rockets don't count! And if potatoes are so essential to rocket fuel, why hasn't NASA started using potatoes, hmmm?” Rosie pointed out.
“Who said we were talking about bottle rockets? I'm talking about the really cool flaming objects, like jello coated tennis balls. Bottle rockets are just kid stuff. Besides, why would NASA let us know that something so simple as potatoes is used in rocket fuel?” Sarah contradicted.
“Uh huh, right, and when was the last time you shot something up that was bigger than a bottle rocket up into the sky?” Raven shot.
“Um, I think that was yesterday. I wondered what the charcoal-like substance that landed in my backyard last night was...” Maxamillian Jenius, aka Max, said, stepping into the conversation.
“See I told you I wasn't just imagining those flying balls of light!” D'artagnan exclaimed to Rosie. Rosie looked away innocently.
“Hey Dani, I thought the Feds made you stop shooting stuff up because of some regulation thingie.” Ami James queried.
Dani gave her an angelic look.
“I still don't think that potatoes belong in rocket fuel,” Seifer said
“Well, hey, if you never want to shoot anything to Mars, fine with me!” Danibelle shot back.
“Stop talking about rocket fuel and potatoes or you'll drive me up the wall!” An already frazzled Ms. Dekraai exclaimed, quickly quieting the large group.
“Is something wrong, Ms. Dekraai, 'cause you look slightly out-of-it...” Seifer commented.
“Yes something's wrong! The whole cast and crew of this musical is being quarantined in Roswell for four months! This show is supposed to go on in two weeks! Either we have to put it on by ourselves or just cancel and give up right now,” she exclaimed. There was a brief pause before...
“LOONEY QUACKERS AWAY, HIYUP! HIYUP!” The twins exclaimed. Dani smiled. “That means we'll do it,” she translated.
Ms. Dekraai still looked doubtful. “Okay but how are,” she paused to count, “nine drama students and an assistant drama teacher supposed to put on a whole musical, especially when that musical is ‘The Sound of Music’?!”
“Um, I can get us more people. Tča was missing the rehearsal tonight because of babysitting duty, but I can get her here. Plus, I've got a friend who owes me a favor, so he can fly in and do this, and that gives us eleven right there. Missy and Sam, Maggie and Sarah's little sisters, can play Marta and Gretl, and we can all do multiple roles. Trust me, it's not as hard as you think,” Dani explained calmly.
Ms. Dekraai sat down and sighed. “Well, first up is the casting.” She looked around at the group. “Well, obviously anyone who wants a part will have one...”
“Wait!” Maggie and Sarah huddled and discussed something for almost a whole minute. When they turned back to the group, they said something that surprised everyone. “We don't want parts, we want to direct and do lights and all that fun stuff!”
“Fine with me!” Ms. Dekraai said. “One more thing for me to loose sleep over.”
“So, if you two are directing, how are you going to cast us?” Max asked less curious than suspicious.
“Oh, that's easy.” Sarah said. Maggie pulled the cow head down from the wall, scribbled on a piece of paper and then ripped it up. She almost dumped them all in the hollow cow's head, but then had second thoughts.
“Sarah, lend me your schmatta,” she said. Sarah dutifully handed it over and Maggie fashioned it into a sack. She put half of the slips of paper in the cow head and half in the schmatta, finally stood up on a desk and proclaimed, “Girls draw from the schmatta, guys take from the cow.”
Ami stepped back. “I sing even worse than Dani, I’m sticking with tech crew. Plus, then you’ll have someone who knows what they’re doing back there.” She smiled at Sarah and Maggs, who exchanged a look and quickly agreed with her.
Lines were formed and pieces of paper were picked out. Everyone then started opening his or her slips of paper. Some went into shock, some burst out laughing, and some started reading their slips of paper to the room.
“I'm Lisel,” Rosie said excitedly.
Raven smiled. “I picked Louisa!”
Maggie frowned. “No, you're too short for that,” she snatched the slip of paper from her hand and handed her a different one. “Here, you be Brigitta, we'll break Ari out of the asylum to get her to play Louisa.”
Raven glared at Maggie, but wisely held her moth shut.
“I get to be the Nazi Captain! Alright!” Max exclaimed excitedly.
“I'm playing Max.” D'art stated calmly.
“I can already see this being confusing.” Sarah said, holding her head like she had a headache.
Just then, Tča walked in the door. “What's the big emergency?” She asked.
Maggie handed her a slip of paper. “We're re-casting the musical. Long story, here's your part.”
Tča looked down at the paper and her eyes became huge. “I get to play the Baroness? Wow, that's great!”
Sarah noticed that there were still slips of paper left in the cow head and schmatta. “Who wasn't casted?” She asked.
“Well, for guys we have Fredrick, Kurt, and Rolf. For girls, we have the Mother Abbess,” Maggie said, reading the papers.
“I nominate Ms. Dekraai for Mother Abbess since she was kicked out of a nunnery a while back,” D'art spoke up.
“Seconded!” Rosie laughed.
“Okay, we have our Mother Abbess, what about these other parts?” Sarah asked.
“Dani's going to call Tobias in, so he can play Fredrick. If we can get him to take a bath, Ratboy can be Kurt, as for Rolf...I dunno. We'll hold auditions later,” Maggie shrugged.
“Wait a sec, who's playing Captain Von Trapp and Maria?” Tča asked.
Everyone looked at Dani and Seifer, who hadn't said anything during the previous exchange. Seifer let a smile slowly grow on his face. “I'm your Captain Von Trapp.” His oddly friendly voice said as he stood up and bowed to the group.
“So that means...” Ami started.
Dani looked up from the paper, still disbelieving what she was seeing. “I'm Maria.” She whispered. Then she blinked and shook her head. “Wait a sec, there is no way I can play a singing nun! I can't carry a tune, you've told me that plenty of times, and I haven't done anything more than a minor part in a little one act, I'm a techie through and through! Plus I can't stand nuns! How do you expect me to play Maria? There's just no way, I can't do it,” she stated definitely.
“But you have to! We're desperate, Dani, you know that,” Max exclaimed.
“I know, but I'm just not capable of playing this part! I can't sing and I can barely act as it is! A minor role, sure, I'll do that fine, but Maria? No freakin’ way!” She exclaimed.
“Dani, it's a great opportunity. Think about it - not only will you get to keep your title as Tech Goddess, but you'll get a chance to be a drama queen for once in your life,” D'art tried to persuade her.
“I can't do it,” she stated.
“Danibelle, please!” Rosie pleaded.
“No.”
“Dani, the show must go on,” Seifer pleaded with her. Dani stopped looking so defiant and started looking more skeptical at this. Then Sarah got a devious look on her face, took Dani by the arm and whispered some stuff to her. After a moment Dani seemed to wilt and she turned back to the group. “I'll do it,” she said. A cheer went through the room.
At this point, the Drama room door creaked open. A guy in a ten-gallon cowboy hat wandered into the room. “Um, I was just, um, wondering if, um...”
Rosie's eyes widened in fear. “Oh Toast, no... it can't be...I saw him die!” She exclaimed.
Raven looked suspicious. “Why are you here?” She growled.
“I was just looking for the Drama room...I was told that someone need some work done on the set and...”
“Can you act?” Sarah squeaked.
“Uh, I guess so...”
“Great! We just found our Rolf!” Maggie exclaimed.
Rosie ran from the room and onto stage screaming and crying incomprehensibly. Raven ran after her to try to calm her down. Everyone else glared at Sarah and Maggie.
“What?!” They exclaimed together.
Ms. Dekraai sighed. “Is going to be a loooong two weeks,” she said.
To Part Two!
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Back to the cheese factory
