Captain of the Squad

Shadith

Email: Shadith
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Say it with me now... Joss owns all.
Feedback: Gives me a happy :)
Author's notes: Responding to a challenge from goldstein. Follows canon pretty much up to season five. You'll know when I swing into my own little world. It's a fun place to be. I know almost nothing about "cheer-leading" I do know step shows and the stuff. And if you've ever seen one with guys and girls it's pretty much sex with your clothes on. 
Story Notes: ++++ indicates flash back, ==== indicates time passing within story --whether in past or present. I tried for no plot and just laughs. <sigh> It didn't work.
For TJgoldstein... and the wonderful plotbunny. Even if the damn thing shape-shifted into a griffin.

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Present -- November 2000

"Why me?" cried Wesley backing away from Cordelia, Gunn and Angel. Desperate he turned sprinting for the door.

"Get him," yelled Cordelia as Angel and Gunn raced after him.

After a brief struggle, Wesley sat tied to Angel's office chair. He glared mutinously as the three tried to explain his *sacred* duty.

"Listen. *No* one is going to buy Angel as a male cheerleader," said Cordelia looking pointedly at the vampire. "I mean nobody."

Angel looked insulted. Or he tried he wasn't used to more than one or two facial expressions, so it was really hard to tell.

"Gunn," began the seer.

"Ain't doing it. That's it. Wes ol' buddy that only leaves you," said the vampire-hunter.

Wesley considered protesting more but realizing the futility, gave in. Wolfram and Hart's involvement with UCLA's cheer-leading squad was unusual, and more than likely not good. And if finding out what they were up to meant he had to go undercover as a male cheerleader...

Wesley shuddered.

So be it.

He nodded once.

Cordelia eyed him, then gestured for the others to untie him.

He rubbed at his wrists, sighing dramatically.

"If I must. The things I do for you people. I knew there'd be sacrifices but I'd bloody well almost prefer *being* sacrificed to doing this."

Cordelia dismissed his objections with a wave of her hand, then shoved an envelope at him.

"Here you go, College boy. Your already enrolled. All you have to do is show up."

Grumbling the ex-watcher snatched the package, making his displeasure know as he stomped out of the office.

Cordelia typed away at the computer, while Gunn leaned against the counter sharpening his newest ax.

Angel flipped through the mail, diligently trying to fight the smirk that made its way onto his face.

Cordelia glanced up and seeing the smirk was unable to help the snicker that escaped.

Gunn coughed then let out a loud howl, followed closely by the others.

Until finally the three collapsed onto the floor laughing hysterically.

*****Sunnydale*****

"There he is," shouted Willow. "Grab him."

Xander yelped in surprise, struggling to keep from dropping his books as he was collared by the slayer.

"Give a guy some warning. Would ya." he said trying to extricate himself from Buffy's hold.

Ignoring his complaints, Willow and Buffy dragged the protesting male into the lunch room.

"Yay, and?" he said glaring at the two women. "I'm sorry we haven't been spending as much time together as you'd like but my courses are just as important as yours."

//Geez can't believe the two of them. They ignore me for a year. And now that I'm too busy for them they want to get offended.//

"Please, Xan. You've got A's in all your classes," pouted Willow. "Heck. Spike sees you more than we do."

Not wanting the two to start thinking about that and still mostly unwilling to hurt Willow he quickly relented.

"All right, all right. Cutting one class won't hurt."

Willow squealed happily, pulling him down onto the bench next to her.

"So what have you two lovely ladies been up too," he asked. Smiling as he pulled a twinkie out of his backpack

Oblivious to Xander's lack of attention the two girls chattered on.

He bit into the cream-filled snack letting his mind wander. He couldn't believe he was finally in college. One little letter and suddenly his life had purpose.

+++++
Two Months Ago
+++++

Xander gaped slack-jawed at the letter in his hands. Mind wandering in dazed circles as he made his way to the Magic Box.

Willow glanced up concerned when he entered. She and the others had been trying to include Xander. But it was hard. He worked all the time and they were trying to get ready for the new semester. She hated not seeing her best-friend all the time. So when he came in looking as if he'd been sucker punched, she hurried to his side.

"Xan, what's wrong?" she said tugging at his arm to get his attention.

He said nothing just waved the letter around. Grabbing at the piece of paper he held, her eyes flew over it. Stunned she froze then began screaming.

Buffy, Giles, Tara, Dawn and Riley raced into the room.

"He got in! He got in!" she shrieked. Waving the letter at the others, while trying to hug Xander at the same time.

Puzzled Buffy's brow wrinkled in thought. But it could have been pain. Her headband was extremely tight.

"Got into where," asked Dawn.

"UC-Sunnydale. Their office screwed up. He was... is eligible for their Liberal Arts-English program. He's got a full scholarship and everything," she cried dropping the letter to hug him closer.

The girls rushed forward to be included in the hug, wrapping their arms around him. The air filled with sounds of girlish giggles.

Picking up the letter Giles grinned proudly. He and Riley only smiled in acknowledgment refraining from the group hug. Neither male wanting to get to close to the boy. For the past week they'd found themselves inexplicably drawn to Xander. Making them both uncomfortable around him. Riley more so than Giles.

Giles just shrugged it off. Figuring it was simply a sign of mid-life crisis. An urge to reclaim lost youth. He'd always found the boy attractive but merely in the way one always appreciated beauty. He'd decided long ago he was too old for the boy. Maybe he'd call Ethan.

Riley on the other hand was troubled. He struggled to ignore the urge to grab Xander and screw him until he was cross-eyed. He was fairly certain Buffy wouldn't appreciate it. Carefully he let his gaze travel over the lean, well-muscled body.

//First thing to go is those clothes then... Bad. Bad, Riley!//

He shook himself, shoving the thoughts to the back of his mind, suddenly realizing Buffy was talking to him.

"You'd show Xan around wouldn't you, Ri?" Buffy said gazing expectantly at her boyfriend.

"Sure." Riley suppressed a shiver.

"I'll be fine. Besides I have to meet with a..."

Giles handed him back the letter.

"Ms. Donovan... the Dean of Students of the College of Liberal Arts. Geez that's a long title."

++++

Xander frowned finally focusing on the voices buzzing at him.

"Say again."

Willow and Buffy glanced at each other then back at Xander.

"We joined the cheer-leading squad. Tara too."

He choked on his mouthful of twinkie. Clearing his throat his shook his head in dismayed amusement.

"Do we not remember the last time you tried this?"

Buffy poo-pooed his concerns.

"That was high school. College is so much more mature."

Xander snorted.

"So says the woman who got wasted on evil beer, caught in a sex spell at a frathouse..."

Noticing the dangerous glint in Buffy's eye, Willow leaned over clamping a hand over his still moving lips.

"We get the idea, Xan."

Xander quieted catching the not so serene look Buffy was giving him.

"But that's not what we wanted to talk about." said Willow sitting back down. "We haven't seen much of you. Let me reiterate. *Spike* sees more of you. So we have an idea."

Buffy nodded. 

"This way we can see each other practically everyday," she said grinning happily.

//God. No.//

"How?" he asked, smile hiding a pained grimace.

The girls looked at him.

"We want you to try out for the male squad."

//Could this be any more emasculating.//

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