"Andre?" Di asked, juggling the phone and the hot plate she had just taken from the microwave. "No, snot-green. Yeah, them." She winced as she put the plate down, picking up a fork and eating. "What do I do about it?" she asked with her mouth full. "Really? How?" She nodded, making a note on the pad beside her. "Okay, want to send it to me? I'll get it by email."

****

Buffy knocked on Xander's door, frowning when she saw Oz through the window but no one answered. She read the sign that got propped in the window next to the door, glaring at it as she pounded again.

"Go away," Xander called. "You can't kill us."

"Bet me." She looked around, checking for a spare key. When she found it, she walked in, glaring at the two men. "Gee, not contagious after all?"

"Yup," Oz said, scratching his side. "Still am."

"But Di didn't say anything about..." She looked from him to Xander and back. "Okay, what did you do now?"

"Nothing," Xander mumbled, turning to lay down. "Need a nap."

"Just got up."

"Tired anyway."

"Sleep, I'm here," Oz said, patting his leg when it landed in his lap. "We're not fine but you shouldn't be here."

"Yes I should."

"Leave, Buffy," Xander said, not opening his eyes. "I don't want to be staked tonight."

"Whatever," Buffy said as she looked at them and shuddered when she caught on. "Just for tonight, we'll work on this more tomorrow. Just call when you're normal."

"Seventy-months," Oz told her. Buffy shook her head, walking out.

"Want to be Daddy one or two?" Oz asked.

"Mommy," Xander said.

"Can't be, no breasts."

Xander looked at the door and shook his head. "You're strange. Want to lock it?"

Oz nodded. "We should be alone."

Buffy walked back in, face scrunched up, reading the paper Willow had given her as she had run past toward her house, muttering about being late. "Are you going to..."

"What is the unfertilized like, Buffy?" Oz asked quietly.

"Very bad for you. It's acid based, tends to eat through the person carrying it. It's also a shorter gestation, only ten months, but it comes out about three feet long and about a foot around. Through the shortest distance, which is usually the stomach wall. So says the word of Willow."

"I liking the long term plan, how about you, Oz?" Xander asked.

"Very much." He patted the leg. "Buffy, are you upset?"

"Why, this isn't you." She shrugged. "And if you feel paternal towards it then I'd understand." Both men nodded. "Just do me a favor and *don't* tell me. Or Willow. She would kill you both." She left again, muttering to herself.

"Know that," Xander said. He looked up at his new best friend, whom he had bonded with through adversity over the afternoon. "I want to go do something stupid. Want to help?"

"Wow," Di said, walking in. "You guys pissed off Buffy."

"Yup," Oz said. "We were going to go have fun."

"Well, I have some good news for you both," she said, sitting down. "Not only is there a way to get rid of it, but it's fairly simple and something you guys probably know about. And this wasn't the prophecy that's been making the town too quiet. It's a different thing but we'll need you in top shape for it."

"Alcohol?" Oz guessed. Di nodded. "Could do that."

"So I suggest you pick a designated driver and go cure yourselves before you die. And no, I do not endorse underage drinking but this is an emergency situation." Xander got up first, heading up the stairs, Oz following after a few seconds. Di turned to look at Willow as she appeared in the kitchen. "Are you going to let him go?"

"He's no longer mine," Willow said softly. "I'm meant for another."

"So I noticed," she said dryly.

"They've been talking to me." Willow smiled, hugging Di then left. "I'll be in tomorrow," she called as she walked out.

Xander and Oz both walked down the stairs with a bag in hand, waving at Di before they left. She followed them as far as the door then watched them leave. "Have fun, boys, and be safe. We'll deal with the real prophecy tomorrow."

***

Oz walked into the cheesy motel, signing them in. "We're on leave," he told the cashier. "We'll come back later." He took the key, heading back out to his van and letting Xander out, the passenger's side door's inside handle being broken at the moment. "Come on, let's go get ready to have some fun."

"Why do I think this was an excuse to get us out of town for the night?" Xander asked.

"‘Cause it was. She probably didn't want to tell us the real reason behind it." Oz led the way into the small room, shaking his head at the single bed. "We'll be unconscious," he justified at the small frown.

"Yup, hopefully. I really don't want to be a slug's mother."

"Never know, might be good for you."

"Or I could decide I like it, I'm strange like that," Xander said as he shut the door. "Want first or second shower?"

"Want the wet towel or second?" Oz asked. "I'll take the first, you have the wet towel tonight." He carried his bag into the bathroom, shutting the door as best he could, which left it open a crack. He unzipped the bag, laying his clothes out on the toilet lid so he could change and not get everything wet after he was done, and laid out one last thing, a small necklace Di had slipped him in the Library. He looked at it and smelled it, trying to figure out what it was for but it didn't register as anything other than a chain with a blue stone on it so he put it with his clothes. He started the water as he stripped, climbing in, grabbing the wall before he fell. He wet his hair down, bending forward to get the back as he poured some shampoo into his hand.

Xander knocked on the door. "I'll just take a minute," he warned, trying hard not to look at the body shadowed behind the flimsy white curtain as he used the facilities. He flushed, blushing at the small yell as all the cold water left for that split second, and ran out with a small, "Sorry," floating after him.

"Yes you will be," Oz called after his friend. He finished washing his hair, bending backwards to rinse and stretch his back, sore from the long drive. He shrugged as he smelled Xander at the door again, ignoring him. If he wanted to watch, then he could watch.

****

Di looked at Buffy as she walked into the library. "Didn't find Willow?"

"Nope, why?"

"Because the slug wasn't the prophecy." She slid over a paper, a print out from the email Andre had sent her. "I was given this by a friend, who was looking for trouble to occur." She watched as Buffy sat down, seeing her worry. "Now you see why I sent the guys off to go have fun?"

"Because the thing is going to kill them?" she guessed.

"No, because this thing will take Xander and make him the sacrifice instead," Di said, tapping the paper. "How many people does that description fit?"

"A subdued predator hidden in the body of a virgin male? Could be any number of teenaged guys." Buffy looked up. "You're sure?"

"Yup, as sure as I can be. This person, whomever it is, will be sacrificing someone tomorrow night and if Xander's here, he'll be it. We just have to keep him away."

"So, why send him tonight?"

"Desperate plan to fix the situation."

"Huh?"

"Reread the description," Di said. Buffy did and shrugged. "I think a night in LA should fix that for him. Or it will if I'm any judge of character."

"Okay, so you sent Xander off to have sex so he wouldn't get eaten by the demon?"

"Not eaten, taken as a gift. This sacrifice is a living gift, one that will appease the demon so it will grant the person giving it a lot of power." She opened a book to a point she had marked earlier, handing it over. She watched as Buffy gently handled the pages, not really touching them as she turned them. "Get it now?"

"Demons are really kinky and it wants Xander to play with so you sent him to go play in hopes that the demon won't want him anymore?"

Di thought for a second then nodded. "Yup, just about. Do you have problems with this?"

"No, but why try to find Willow?"

"Because I'll need another witch to help close the portal and it'll take something she might be willing to give." Buffy started to look confused again but she shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Your job is to save the sacrifice. That's it. Distraction by saving the gift."

The Slayer nodded. "If you say so, but I'm able to do more."

"Can you cast?" Buffy shook her head. "That's the only other job."

"Ohh!" Buffy said, jumping as a thought hit her. "Amy! She's a witch! She's been teaching Willow."

"Can you get in contact with her?"

"Yup, let me call." Buffy got up, heading into the office, leaving Di to work on her battle plans, something she had had a bit too much experience with recently.

***

Oz watched his friend from across the floor, ignoring the person he was moving against to keep track of him. He flinched at the feeling of lips against his throat, pulling back to look at the girl and shaking his head. She pouted and tried to yell over the techno music enveloping them but he didn't understand a word. He just walked away, going over to where Xander was getting very happy in his drunkenness. "Hey," he shouted in the younger man's ear. "Fun?"

"Very," Xander shouted back, heading nodding in time to the heavy beat. Then it started moving side to side, and pretty soon his whole body was moving again. He grinned as Oz fell in step, letting the women around them dance with them both. They ended up facing each other again a few minutes later, Oz raising an eyebrow at Xander's pout. "Want to play," Xander shouted.

Oz nodded, grabbing one of his hands and leading him outside. "Play?" he asked, wiggling a finger in his left ear, hoping to stop the ringing. "Where would you like to play?"

"That bar on the corner," Xander said, heading for it, pulling Oz. "Some really interesting looking people were heading down there. He felt his friend hesitating so tugged once to make him catch up. "Come on, they won't hurt us." He paid their cover, smiling at the man guarding the door.

Oz's swallow as they walked down the stairs was audible to Xander, who was still happy. He turned to his friend after noticing the whips and restraints decorating one wall. "We are in the *wrong* place, Xander, let's go find a more ‘us' activity."

Xander shook his head, heading up to the bar. "Hi," he said, smiling at the man behind it.

"What can I do for you?" he asked, sitting a napkin down in front of them. "And are you here for the special tonight?"

"Maybe," Xander said. "What's going on?"

"A very nummy virgin scene," the bartender said. "An initiation ritual."

Oz shook his head. "Not really." He looked at his friend, then at where he was looking, his eyes becoming stuck on the sight as a man sat on the stage, a naked man beside him on the floor. "Xander," he whispered, tugging on his arm.

"Oh, hey, show," he said, turning around to watch. He hummed quietly, sipping the beer that appeared in front of him. "Thanks."

"The guy at the end of the bar thought you might like it," the bartender whispered. "Just be really quiet." He headed back down the bar, going to serve someone else.

Oz's eyes opened as wide as they could as the naked man laid across the sitting man's lap, spreading himself open for his attention, and the sitting man picked up a bottle and squeezed some out on his hand. He nudged his friend, who nudged back. But they both were stuck on the sight of the man on the stage preparing the other one. Pretty soon two fingers were in the prone man's body, and he started to moan.

"Who will be the first to break in my new possession?" the man doing the preparation called. Some guy at a table close to the stage raised his hand, standing up and heading up to join them.

The boys watched in amazement as the man from the audience slid into the man laying across the lap, their mouths about hanging open, matching bulges in their pants as the sitting man and the man on top kissed hard and fast.

Xander pulled his eyes away as all three men groaned, gulping the cool beer before realizing what it was he was drinking. "Home?" he whispered to his friend.

"Yup," Oz agreed. He waved the bartender over. "How much?"

"It was a gift but surely you two aren't leaving," he said with a small pout. "It's not often we get *new* people here." He watched as both men moved closer to each other, taking in their obvious conditions. "Never mind guys, I can understand the need to take care of that in private. Some people have that exclusive thing going." He winked at Xander. "Take good care of your boy." He walked away.

Oz followed Xander out the door, stopping the first cab they saw. "Motel?" he asked.

"Very," Xander said then shook his head. "I meant please."

Part 5