My sweet son, I want you to know how much I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts, my chest aches. You were so tiny. I was scared to hold you. But I did. I held you for a long time, trying to remember every tiny part of you. As I held you, my tears fell onto your translucent skin. You were so tiny that you fit into my hand. I don't remember how long I held you, but it was a long time. Time seemed to stop while you were in my hands. During that time I thought of all the things we should've been able to do together. I wanted to be able to teach you how to say "Daddy", how to play golf and baseball. I wanted to buy you your first pupy and to teach you how to care for it. I wanted to spend quiet Saturdays with you, just playing together the way daddies and sons do. Until the moment that I held you I didn't have these hopes and dreams, but holding you brought them all out. Seeing you so still and quiet made losing you such a stark reality. The reality of broken dreams, broken hopes, and plans. When the doctor told us that you were a boy, I was so happy, yet so heartbroken. So happy that I had another son but heartbroken because again I would never do the things with you that a daddy and his son should be able to do together. I will always remember the moments that I held you, Jaden. I will always remember you. You will always be my little boy. My little boy that I love and miss with all my heart. God Bless you, my son.