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CLASSIFIEDS
1.
Fish Assholes.
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Poissonerie Chez Pierre;
Cap-Pele, NB
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Get your Manhatten style assholes for 1/2 price! Great with Rice! These are the best assholes I have ever tasted! $9.99 + TAX or Call 555-1011 and order yours today!
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2.
hamster Powererd Paper Shredder.
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Herve's Hamster House; Memramcook, NB
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Save $$$ - Forget Office Depot - Save $$$ on electricity! Simply insert paper, pop your hamster into the cage and let them shred away night or day! Priced $12.99 + TAX. Caution: Close proximity to mechanical teeth may cause fatal results. Call 555-1017
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3.
Genuine China Royal Boulton WWII Führer Teapot.
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Ted's Tea Caddy Treasures; George Blvd, Moncton, NB
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WWII enthusiasts do not miss out! This is an exclusive, limited edition teapot styled in the likeness of German Führer Hitler. Royal Boulton comissioned only 500 of these. Buy one get one free! A great way to alienate your friends over a pot of tea! Call 555-1818
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4.
Barbie In A Burka (TM) Doll! Hurry While Stock's Last!
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Treitz Trinkets & Toys; George St, Moncton. NB
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To Coincide with Barbie's 50th Anniversary I managed to get my paws on 10 of these wonderful Burka themed Barbie (TM) Dolls! These wonderful dolls will brighten your child's day and educate them along the way! Only $499.99 Ea. First five buyers also receive a traditional Niqab absolutely free!!! Call 555-2289
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5.
Hockey Stick Garden Chair.
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Hypolite's Hand-made Hockey Haberdashery; Gauvin Rd, Dieppe, NB
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I used to play Hockey for the Moncton Wildebeests back in the 1950's. I must have broken over 3000 sticks. This is one of my creations from them sticks and you can have this for just $300.00 TAX in. I also have a homemade Hockey stick hat-stand, hockey stick box and a hockey stick park bench. Interested? Call Hypolite 555-2388
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6.
Man Girdle.
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Nancy's Rubin's Knicker Emporium; Highfield Square, Moncton, NB
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Boys do we have something for you! Our Wonderbra for men will knock inches of your flabby, beer and burger bloated bellies! Sensational fit, sensational price. As worn by Star Trek's William Shatner and King Of Queens comedy star Kevin James. Call now 555-GIRD
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7.
Real James Bond Movie Sunglasses!
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Marcel's Magic Movie Box; Halifax, NS
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One authentic pair of sunglasses worn by actor Christopher Lee's stunt double in the movie The Man With the Golden Gun. Christopher Lee was famous for playing Francisco Scaramanga the villain with the third nipple. That nipple was played by actor Lennie G'fennie who wore these sunglasses between takes. Own a piece of James Bond Movie nipple history for $299.00 OBO. Call 555-2017
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8.
Authentic Irish Bishop's Miter.
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Vatican City; Rome. Italy
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Worn by none other than disgraced Irish Bishop John Magee prior to his resignation following the mishandling and covering up allegations of sexual abuse by priests in his diocese. It is clean and stain-free and comes mounted on a real maple stand in a fine glass display case. A great addition to collectors of Catholic related memorabilia. Asking $87,000.00 OBO. Call Pope Benedict XVI for more info.
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9.
My Daughter's Potty. USED.
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Donald & Maureen; Riverview, NB
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One lovely well maintained red plastic training potty with removable seat. Sad to see this go but my daughter is getting married soon and we need all the money we can get for her wedding. Judging by my wife's photo it looks as if my daughter made one last parting gift in it. Offers? Call 555-9090
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10.
WWII UXB SALE!!!
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Michel's Unexploded War Treasures; Memramcook, NB
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Army bomb disposal experts this is for you! One original WWII unexploded bomb. Found this metal monster on a beach in England a few years ago while clam digging with Japanese tourists. Had it FED-EXEXEX'd to my store and here it is lying on my floor! Asking $9999.11 OBO. Enquiries Call 555-BANG
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11.
Superb Beach House $ale!!!
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Parlee's Reality Realty; Shediac, NB
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Grab this hot property before the Yanks do! Yes they're coming - so hurry! hurry! hurry! It's a two room dilapidated beach house with a balcony situated on a tiny little lot overlooking a pile of trash about 1 mile from the sea! A seaside snap @ $590,000. *Applicable taxes and additional fees may apply. Call 555-4323
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12.
First Time Buyers Dream Home Awaits!
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Charming Dilapidations; St. John's. NFLD
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Deals don't get much better than this! A two-storey, windowless, wind and rain battered brick facade family home for just $170,000.00. This beautifully abandoned home is located just 456 km's west of St. John's in the small former fishing community of Garbage harbour. Accessible by boat, hiking trails and hang glider. No running water, no electricity just the sound of the sea crashing against the cliffs below! Nice! call 555-3430
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13.
Great Price! Prime Location!
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Charming Dilapidations; Sydney, NS
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This charming two up and two down town house is located on Tupper Street, Whitney Pier, Sydney. Although the area has been condemned as North America's largest hazardous waste site. You can still own a piece of controversial history and even live in it a bit and watch as chemicals ooze into and out of your basement during the winter. (Health permitting). It's a giveaway in the true Canadian way! We put the $ in money before we put the 'H' in health, eh? Any offers? 555-2323
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14.
1972 British Vintage Bedford Commer Camper Van. Pristine Condition!
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Karl's Klassic Imports; Lakeburn, NB
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You don't see many of these to the dozen. But in it's heyday it was Canada's version of the SUV. Light, compact and great to camp out in! Tyres and spark plugs is all this beauty needs. Asking $17,999.00 OBO. Trade in your SUV today! 0% interest on first 3 years of payment Call 555-3370
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15.
1975 British Ford Transit Diesel Van. Huge Potential!
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Karl's Klassic Imports; Lakeburn, NB
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Found this wreckage in my great grandmothers' neigbours back yard. Had it imported as is! Needs a few tweeks here and there. Huge potential. This 12 seater passenger van could easily double as a mini-bus for school kids (if painted yellow) or even a traditional british Ice Cream truck! Asking $11,999.00 OBO. Call 555-3370
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16.
1976 British Leyland Sherpa 240 Series Minibus. HOT! HOT! HOT!
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Karl's Klassic Imports; Lakeburn, NB
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Another British gem! Bought this brand new! Had it shipped over and realized it had a manual stick shift and a steering wheel on the right hand side! Forgot about it until my parents moved house several years ago and here it is! Never been used! One owner! Seats 14 people! Slight rust damage due to our climate but otherwise fantastic shape! Asking oh... I don't know... $3999.00? Maybe? Call 555-3370
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2010 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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