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ENTERTAINMENT
CELEBRITY NEWS
Sandra Bullock Piglet Adoption Shocker!
Sandra Proudly Showing Off Her Newly Adopted 3-Month Old Pet Pig.
Los Angeles, CA (AP) - After months of seclusion following the aftermath of Sandra's sensational Divorce from a little known bike welder from California it seems things are looking more rosier, pink even, for the Hollywood actress.
Yesterday Ms. Bullock 46, came out of hiding to proudly show off the latest addition to her family. A newly adopted 3 month old Peruvian pig named 'Jesse'.
"It is something I have always wanted to do". She smiled to the flock of reporters who had gathered at her country farm. "I love pigs! Hell I was married to one for five years!" She laughed. "This little guy is the cutest thing I have had in a long time and the one thing I can guarantee is he won't be running after any tattoo'd K-mart trash!"
To B Or Not To Be - Canada's Top Male Singing Sensations Aim To Make It Three!
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What's In A Surname? Bublé, Bieber And Bauble Make It Three!
Toronto, ONT (AP) - What do you get when you pair easy listening singer Michael Bublé, teen sensation Justin Bieber and storm drain fitter turned thrash metal star Berndt Bauble? Not one, not two but three wacky superstar surnames starting with B! That's right! 'The Three B's'!!!
First Canadians swooned over Bublé then fainted over Bieber and now fight and throw up over Bauble. Is it merely careful PR planning or hard work that has bought these three oddly named enigma's together?
"It's a bit of both actually!" Music promoter Gwen Staley enthused. Here we have three different highly popular Canadian vocalists with, let's be honest, odd surnames. Why not get them under one roof and market the heck out of them while the Iron is still hot!"
While Bublé, Bieber and Bauble may not be the next Plácido Domingo, José Carreras and Luciano Pavarotti you can still expect to hear an exceptional electic mix of jazz, rap and death metal.
The Three B's will be playing much of Canada and the US this fall. Stay tuned!
Reality Show Reaches New High.
Smash Hit Reality Show - 'Druids Gone Wild' Returns For A 5th Season.
London, UK (AP). Fans of the hit British reality show 'Druids Gone Wild 'will not be disappointed this season as we follow the antics of the Wix clan going from bad to worse.
From catapulting cars to drunken sex with Bulls there will be no shortage of sensation and shame!
We also reveal why Vicky constantly burns Incence. "Kelvin never washes, never has!" She reluctantly admits.
As with previous seasons each episode closes with the Witch Goddess - 'Mystic Wixey' turning the wheel of Wixey. In this season lucky winners of the Wheel of Wixey receive brand new Blackberry phones loaded with goodies to take to work.
"Our must-have tools this season has to include the latest in Druid Podcast downloads. This along with Facebook apps are the must have tools for us to communicate!" She explained.
The Season Five premiers this Thursday.
BEER REVIEW
Canadian Skating Sensation Ulysses 'Pop-tart' Llewellyn Dies.
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Horse Arse Ale - Brewed By 'The Frolicking Farmers Brewing Co.'
This is a dark, foul-smelling brew that is not to be trifled with. In other words it's not the sort of beverage to entice a date with.
My first mouthful gave me the impression you get when smelling stale urine infused with the aroma of damp straw. It certainly hit the spot.
Judging by its all natural ingredients I'll certainly share a bottle or two with my environmentally conscious friends. A definite 6/10
Greasy Beer - Brewed By 'Gargoyles Of Netherwhetstone'
Gargoyles brewery makes many different seasonal brands. For example 'Early Riser' is a spring brand. 'Codpiece Calamity' often arrives in the summer and so forth. But Gargoyles year round brew to try is 'Greasy Beer'.
At 7% Volume this is a giant amongst the giants. However this beer is different. It is a beer that's been 'battered' in beer before being added to the can!
It was thick and oily and hard to get down. I am sure if I tried a teaspoon of methylated spirits I would have been able to dislodge the discomfort in my throat.
Clotted arteries aside it was a firm 5/10
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LOCAL EVENTS
Annual Tractor Wheelie Trials Gain Momentum.
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Triple World Champion Chet Wallach (pictured) Of Nebraska Showing The World What His Tractor Can Do.
SUSSEX, NB - Tractor drivers from all over the US and Canada are slowly clogging up our highways as they descend on Sussex for the 46th annual wheelie jamboree.
"Its an event like no other I can think of". Enthused Merrick Clayton of Missoula County, Montana. "My family and I have been on the road twenty-seven days straight to get here. Its our fifth trip!"
Clayton, a veteran of more than twenty-three Tractor Wheelie Trials has more than a dozen trophy's proving he's no slouch when it comes to rearing up his 1974 John Deere 4430. "The lighter the better I just hope this year is my year to get one in Sussex!"
Over 2500 tractors will be vying for a spot in the top 10 slot on finals day. The week long event will see many other Tractor events including Tractor hurdles, Tractor Track and Field and Tractor's jumping over flame filled swimming pools.
Tickets are $29.99 for the seven day event and are available at all respectable farm produce outlets throughout New Brunswick.
Inflatable Doll Marathon Gears Up.
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Last Year's Run Proved Promising Until Rain Stopped Play.
MAGNETIC HILL, Moncton, NB - The Greater Moncton Inflatable Doll Lovers Society in conjunction with Pornaments Promotions will be holding their annual Marathon Of Grope at Moncton's Magnetic Hill Zoo next Friday at noon.
"Its great fun, anyone can join in. You just need to be over 18 and have an inflatable companion strapped to you" President and organizer Dominic St. Laurentides explained.
"We are hoping for better weather this year as last year was a total wash out."
The marathon starts at the Entrance to the Zoo and markers will be set up to show contenders their intended route to the finish line. Keen spectators can pay a $5.00 entrance fee and all proceeds will be donated to the Continued Care of Inflatable Dolls.
LOCAL MUSIC
Melancholy Olive Will be playing at 'Dumpy's Fish Bar', Shediac this Thursday. The Dieppe trio
famous for their bland, incoherrant blend of death metal meets Neil Diamond will be showcasing new material for their forthcoming album 'Almost Done'. Tickets are priced $15.00 at the door.
Kinky Incubator Will be playing The Moncton Lions Club this Saturday. The popular flute and fiddle duo urge you to join them for a nice quiet evening of coffee and pretzels in their presence. All tickets can easily be purchased and usually are.
New York Punk sensations 'The Hemorrhoids' will be playing the Moncton Mausoleum in two weeks time. Front man Sawn Lockjaw, guitarist Viper Vein and drummer Casket Corpse will be re-united once again for this one of show that promises everything you'd expect and more.
EXHIBITIONS
Danielle Mott's 'Rings & Clips Collection' can be viewed all this week. Admission is free.
World renowned Curtain ring collector Danielle Mott will be displaying her entire collection of Curtain Rings this week at The Moncton Museum.
The 'Rings and Clips Collection' will feature many assorted Curtain rings including Twist Eyelet Iron Rings, unfinished Fluted Rings with Loop, textured Beech Wood Rings and the more expensive and highly sought after 2.25 Inch Garland Rings.
Also on display will be another large collection ranging from modern to traditonal rings and clips from wooden curtain and drapery rings to metal and bamboo among others.
Danielle, who first started collecting Curtain rings at age seven says she does not have a favourite. "It simply comes down to whether I like the colour, its function and quality of design."
Curtain rings generally retail from under a dollar but can reach upto hundreds of dollars. Especially if your eye desires the Diamond Decorative Ring which can fetch $500.00.
BOOK REVIEW
My Pink Tank By Harold Arkless.
If you like me love the less ordinary then this book is a gem. Not a masterpiece but nevertheless a gem.
This is the true story of Harold Arkless who lost everything. His Wife, his house and his prized beer bottle cap collection. His uncle however had a tank.
Harold simply woke up one day, painted it pink and took it for a ride round the British Isles.
"The car ferries across the Lochs of Scotland were a little hair raising and so was driving down Bradford City Centre but all in all I had a great time" harold enthused.
The journey takes us from Land's End to John O'Groats and captures the essence of British life along the way.
From letcherous truck drivers pounding up the M5, to waiting hours for sheep to cross the glens its all there and Arklass captures the whole thing beautifully for us to enjoy.
On sale now except in Chapters Indigo stores. priced $24.99 published by Fanta books.
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